Hey, <<First Name>>!
We can be lonely and surrounded by friends.
On Saturday, I spoke at a conference in Baltimore about self-care. (Shoutout to Sinclair!) At the end of the day, I got to facilitate a conversation for 10 of the attendees.
To start, I told everyone about my expertise–– creating spaces where people feel like they belong. "Did you know that 46% of American adults feel lonely sometimes or all of the time?" I asked. The circle was quiet.
After a pause, I awkwardly continued: "So! In the spirit of community and accountability, I'd love for everyone to say their name and something that they need help with."
And then... MAGIC happened. Half of the women–– from their twenties to their sixties–– said that they need help making friends. They also confessed that they had never admitted that to anyone else.
What one woman said in particular really stuck with me:
“I’m a huge extrovert. I have a ton of friends. No one understands when I say that I’m lonely. In fact, they tell me that I’m not grateful. But I don’t have deep, consistent relationships. And I think that's partially because of shame. I worry that if people actually get to know the real me, they’ll stop hanging out with me because they don’t like what they see. Because if I’m being honest, I don’t like what I see.”
DAMN.
Does this resonate with you, <<First Name>>? Have you ever felt lonely, even when you were surrounded by people? Hit 'reply' and tell me your story!
Now, onto what you're really here for–– the GIF and the fun things. Take it away, how I feel when I set personal boundaries:
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Okay okay okay, three more things. Real quick!
1) There's a freakin' short film about The Joy List! Watch it here.
It was such a gift to meet Kiran Patel and have him take an interest in my story. Watching this makes me SO grateful for the amazing people in my life, and the growth that I've made in the 2 years since I started the newsletter.
2) Have you heard of Croissant?*: This company was founded by friends who were tired of riding the coffee shop struggle bus. You know. You buy a coffee, feel like you need to buy a croissant after 2 hours, and then another, and then you kinda feel like you're gonna explode from over-sugaring and over-caffeinating? Blerg. You just wanted to get some work done!
With this handy app, you can drop into 60+ coworking spaces around the city. It's all the perks of being an exclusive member, without the hassle of a commitment! Very NYC. Try Croissant for a week free here.
3) Check out The Joy List calendar: For events more than a week in advance, go here. We have goodness listed all the way up to June! (Plus the photos from the last Joy List Social are live, and y'all look cute.)
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Monday, October 8
Building Sustainable Masculinity
Lots of people in my life have been having conversations about gender and the definition of modern masculinity. Bring that discussion to the next level at this event, with facilitators who have done men's work in maximum security prisons, mixed-gender queer groups, and colleges. Let's listen to each other.
$26.29. $5 off with code 'joylist.' 7 to 10 PM. X Marks the Loft, 405 Johnson Ave. Info here.
Brooklyn Poets Yawp
This night starts with a workshop in which participants create their own unique narrative poem, combining poetry and memoir. Participants should bring or have access to one or two photos of people and/or objects and memorabilia that hold personal significance. Afterwards, there will be an open mic where you can read your new work and get inspired by fellow artists!
$10 for workshop + open mic. $5 for open mic. 7 to 9:30 PM. 61 Local, 61 Bergen St. Info here.
Tuesday, October 9
Lady Bits League
I've had some of the realest conversations of my life at Lady Bits League. I've listened to women's stories, cried with them, and laughed my face off. Being in a room of women who are really getting vulnerable is magic. This month, the roundtable discussion will be around shame and sexual identity.
$5 to $15 sliding scale. 7:30 to 9:30 PM. Address given at RSVP. Info here.
No Lights No Lycra
I went to this a few weeks ago, and absolutely adored it. There's nothing like dancing without feeling the eyes of other people on me. It's freeing as hell... so let's dance in the dark together! (The organizers also have an app, which allows people all over the world to have a dance break at the same time. YES.)
$5. 8:30 to 9:30 PM. Church of the Messiah Hall, 129 Russel St. Info here.
Wednesday, October 10
Future of Community Building
I'm so honored to be on a panel alongside community experts from Meetup and TheSkimm! Yet this won't just be a conversation with us-- it's going to be with the whole room. Let's get together to discuss strategies, techniques and best-practices for creating in-person and online communities. Plus, there will be plenty of time to hang out and meet each other!
$20. 7 to 9 PM. Prime Produce, 424 West 54th St. Info here.
Daybreaker: Dusk
Wait... Daybreaker at NIGHT? Join a bunch of crazy kids and boogie while the sun comes down. The theme is flannel, so you probably won't notice anything different about your fellow Brooklynites.
$40. 7 to 9 PM. The William Vale, 111 North 12th St. Info here.
MusicCollage
MusiCollage is an improvised group vocal jam in an intimate setting. They explore music from different roots, then collaborate to create their own original tunes. It's a space for self-expression and group communication through music. All. About. It.
$10. 8 to 10 PM. Ambrosia Elixirs, 109 Troutman St. Info here.
Thursday, October 11
Open Brain
Open Brain has a special place in my heart. It's a low-stakes environment to share your art, whether that's storytelling, singing, or just asking great questions. It's seriously the most chill "open mic" you could imagine. These are the people who encouraged me to share my poetry out loud for the first time. They're so supportive, and mean a lot to me.
Free. 7 to 10 PM. The High Line. Info here.
Sacred Touch Exchange
Getting physical touch is crucial for our mental health. So come get some, and learn how to give a killer massage–– plus do some energy work!
$25. 7:15 to 9:30 PM. New York Live Arts, 219 West 19th St. Info here.
Friday, October 12
The November Project
I'm always on the lookout for affordable workouts that welcome all body types and abilities. Enter: The November Project. These champions gather at 6:28 AM multiple times a week, and work their booties off with a huge grin and a bunch of high fives. To be honest, I've never woken up early enough to trek over to one–– but I hear wonderful things. Plus, it's always free!
Free. Multiple times and locations. Manhattan info here. Brooklyn info here.
ThinkOlio x HangNight | Communities and Their Pitfalls
Want to get your nerd on before going out? Check out ThinkOlio! It's like a college course, but with beer and more fun. This time around, the discussion will be about community and the function of identity. Plus, the "featured professors" are Jeanne Proust + artists from the Harlem art collective, HangNight!
$20. $5 off with code "Joy." Drinks included. 7 to 9:30 PM. Strand Bookstore, 828 Broadway. Info here.
Dance Lab 69: Butoh + Ecstatic Dance
Want to spending your Friday night dancing, connecting, and sound bath-ing? Uh... yes. Warning: the space gets full. If you're claustrophobic, I advise that you steer clear of this one.
$20. 7:30 to 11 PM. X Marks the Loft, 405 Johnson Ave. Info here.
Saturday, October 13
Move and Groove: Yoga to Live Jazz
I haven't been to this before, but my friend Jenn has–– and she raves about it. I mean, seriously. Yoga with a live jazz band?! How can it NOT be amazing?
$15. 3:30 to 5:30 PM. National Jazz Museum, 58 W 129th St. Info here.
Summer Rooftop Closing Party: The Golden Hour
If you were at The Joy List Social, you know how great the Lightning Society roof is. Come meet some great people, dance in the last weird mid-fall heat, and make new friends.
$20. 3 to 9 PM. Lightning Society, 245 Varet St. Info here.
Sunday, October 14
Second Sundays
Get some culture! Head to Pioneer Works for free participatory workshops about art, tech, and education. There will also be live muzac.
Free. 4 to 10 PM. Pioneer Works, 159 Pioneer St. Info here.
Being Sensuous Beauty
I've been craving all-women spaces recently, so dancing with a bunch of wonderful ladies on a roof sounds glorious. Add in silent disco headphones and lots of flowy scarves? I'm. In.
$33. 2 to 5 PM. Lightning Society, 245 Varet St. Info here.
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Give Money. Save Money.
Donate to The Joy List: Contribute via PayPal! I'll love you forever, and then some more when we're reincarnated as pumpkin spice lattes.
Becoming a freelance writer can be scary. But never fear! I have a 15 minute Skillshare class that will give you the foundation that I worked for five years to build. I've got your back!
Joy-Makers
Join the Social Impact Career Virtual Summit*: I know a lot of Joy List-ers are in a moment of career transition, and are trying to figure out how to make more of an impact with their work. This summit, running October 15-18, will give you some key strategies and resources for creating a career in the social impact space. Plus, it's free! Sign up here.
Make more passive income*: My friend, Nate, works with people who want to turn their knowledge into an online course. I'm trying to learn more about passive income myself, and I can tell you–– he's an expert. If you already have some skills that you think an online audience could benefit from, connect with him here and see if you qualify for his coaching program.
Interested in life coaching NYC high schoolers? nXu is an innovative youth purpose incubator that offers fun, immersive out-of-school programming that brings together teenagers across race and class lines to ponder life's big questions and explore their purpose in life. nXu is seeking committed volunteers who are passionate about purpose and mentoring high schoolers.
Free. Meets 11 AM to 3 PM ~2 Saturdays a month starting Saturday, October 27 at a coworking space near Madison Square Park. More info here.
Advertise With The Joy List
Want to partner with The Joy List? Check out all of our partnership packages here.
We also offer title sponsorship for The Joy List Social. If anything looks interesting, hit 'reply.' Let's chat!
Submit An Event
Are you creating an event that promotes connection, vulnerability, and/or playfulness? Know someone who is? Nominate that shindig to be in The Joy List! I always love hearing about new gatherings.
Even if it doesn't make the newsletter, I almost always include it in our Facebook events calendar.
Follow Us On The Interwebs
That's it for for this week, <<First Name>>! Tell a friend who's new to NYC to subscribe, like the Facebook page, and follow us on Instagram.
Hug and a high five,
Jillian and The Joy List team
joylist.nyc
thatJillian.com
Follow us for daily joy on Instagram
Support us on Paypal
Like the Facebook page for our events calendar
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