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What are the stories you tell yourself about our world? Sociologist Arlie Hochschild spent five years traveling between her own liberal community in Berkeley, California and a conservative town in Southwest Louisiana to better understand this question. I’ve found her conception of “deep stories” — our narratives as “felt” — to be helpful in understanding the world we live in today:

“We all have deep stories, whatever our politics, but we’re not fully aware of them. They’re dreamlike and are told through metaphor.”

Arlie examines deep stories in the context of political polarization in the United States, but I wonder what additional wisdom we might find within our own hearts about this phenomenon. Sharon Salzberg often writes about how the stories we tell ourselves, whether about our self-worth or our ability to love or be loved, can form barriers to the connection we seek in each other:

“We see our story as something that keeps us safe. But it also limits us.”

Deep stories not only offer us a way to understand why our country is so divided; they also provide a window into how we connect with ourselves and understand our place in this world. Moving beyond these narratives, as Sharon writes, requires conscious and constant work, whether through meditation or other introspective practices. But I love how she articulates what this work is:

“Stretching our fixation to our stories is an act of love we can give ourselves each day.”

And perhaps, as Arlie’s work demonstrates, it’s also an act of love we can extend to others here, now — what she calls imagining yourself “into a different heart.” As always, I’d love to continue this conversation; you can write to me at newsletter@onbeing.org.

Yours,
Kristin Lin
Editor, On Being Studios
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This Week At On Being Studios
Our Latest Episodes
Portrait of Arlie Hochschild.
On Being
Arlie Hochschild
“The Deep Stories of Our Time” 

A creator of the field of the sociology of emotion. Treating emotion seriously in our life together. “I could see what they couldn’t see but not what I couldn’t see.” Our stories as “felt” not merely factual. Caring is not the same as capitulating.

Photo by Sheila McLaughlin

Listen on:

Image of sword.
This Movie Changed Me
Lauren Wilford
“Kill Bill: Volume 2”

Movie characters can rewrite the possibilities for our lives. That’s what Uma Thurman’s role as The Bride in Kill Bill did for Lauren Wilford. The character redefined Lauren’s idea of femininity — helping her find her inner strength, determination, and persistence.

Listen on:
Portrait of David Whyte.
On Being
David Whyte — Poetry From the On Being Gathering (Closing Words)

“The sense of having walked from far inside yourself / out into the revelation, to have risked yourself / for something that seemed to stand both inside you / and far beyond you, that called you back.”

Listen on:
From the On Being Blog
Collage of images.

Here are three pieces about the place where stories sit in our lives:

“There’s No One Story of the Opioid Epidemic in America” by Ruth Stender
Is the way we talk about and imagine opioid addiction hurting people who need our help? A native West Virginian considers the ravages of the disease on her loved ones, her home state, and families across the country — and looks to compassion as a strategy for healing.

“Everything Prepares Us for Something in the End” by Kao Kalia Yang
“Still, America is the place where we are hoping to cultivate life — even as death visits us in life and in dreams.”

“The Stories We Tell Ourselves” by Terri Schanks
The stories of a person, a family, a culture, a country hold and bind us in ways that are potentially fruitful or harmful. They also give us an identity. A meditation on who we are, how we become, and the stories we tell ourselves along the way.

What We’re Loving
We are so heartened by The People’s Supper and the great work and thought they’ve put into healing political and social divides in the U.S. Co-founded by Jen Bailey, a former On Being Fellow, the initiative helps communities make space for conversations about identity, difference, and our shared life — over dinner. They recently published a new resource for those interested in opening up a conversation (and sharing a meal!) ahead of the U.S. midterm elections. We hope you’re able to participate in the coming weeks and beyond.

Read | “It’s Getting Harder to Talk About God” | The New York Times
Recommended by Impact Lab executive director Casper ter Kuile
Events

This fall, we’re delighted to take part in live conversations across the country and would love to meet you in person. We regularly update this section with new and upcoming events.

Logan, UT
Krista Tippett at Utah State University
Wednesday November 7, 2018, 7:00 p.m.

Krista will be speaking on the adventure of civility as part of Utah State University’s Tanner Talk series. The event is free and open to the public, and no registration is required. You can find more information here

New York, NY
On Being at WNYC’s Werk It Women’s Podcast Festival
with Claudia Rankine

Monday, November 12, 7:00 p.m.
The Kaye Playhouse at Hunter College

Krista will be in conversation with poet, essayist, and playwright Claudia Rankine. Rankine is the author of Citizen: An American Lyric, a provocative meditation on race in contemporary society that was a finalist for the National Book Award. She lives in California and teaches at Yale University as the Frederick Iseman Professor of Poetry. You can purchase tickets here.

New York, NY
This Movie Changed Me at WNYC’s Werk It Women’s Podcast Festival
with Justin Sayre

Wednesday November 14, 7:00 p.m.
The Jerome L. Greene Space at WNYC


One fan talking about the transformative power of one movie. This Movie Changed Me offers an unexpected take on pop culture, transporting listeners inside the world of movies by celebrating our intimate relationships with them. Host Lily Percy will be talking with writer, performer and comedian Justin Sayre about the movie that changed him. You can purchase tickets here

Image: Banner for the Fetzer Institute — "Helping build the spiritual foundation for a loving world."
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The On Being Project is an independent non-profit public life and media initiative. We pursue deep thinking and social courage, moral imagination and joy, to renew inner life, outer life, and life together.

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