Our progress towards our vision of living in a healthy community that is inclusive and respectful.
Join Together for Inclusion & Mutual Respect
Dear Friends:
I write in the midst of turmoil, fear, hate, and violence engulfing all of us, while we seek to find a path to travel together towards a world that respects each of us, regardless of who we are. The time is dark, we must create the light.
There is much work that awaits us as humans, as citizens, and as members of our community. We need everyone to be a part of the solution.
In a suburb of Pittsburgh, at the Tree of Life Jewish temple, on the Sabbath, a gunman has killed 11 congregants and wounded several including first responders. May their memories be a blessing.
On January 17, 2015, a gunman killed 9 worshipers in the Emanuel African Methodist Church in Charleston, SC.
At our border with Mexico, refugees lawfully seeking asylum (US and International law) are to be met by militias and the U.S. military.
Bombs have been mailed to some 14, including past Presidents and leaders of the Democratic party.
The civil rights of transgender persons are being subjected to a vote, question #1 on the Massachusetts ballot.
In public/subsidized housing, any person who is targeted by mobbing will be lucky not to be evicted because of the lack of needed protections.
Federal agencies, including HUD, as well as elected officials, are striving to reduce support for public housing, Social Security, and Medicare; and eliminate hard-won civil rights.
In the 12 years that a child entering first grade will graduate the 12th grade, the planet will have become hostile to human civilization and threaten the existence of all people---unless dramatic, concerted action at every level begins now. In twelve years it will be too late if we continue on the present path. Wealth and political affiliation will have no magical powers of salvation.
All any of us can do is to cling to our fundamental values and work with our neighbors to promote respect and to work together to address our differences and as a unified community, address the problems confronting all of us. At least we must try. We must take strength from each other.
A leader in human rights in their community urged me to focus on the power that each of us does have, and I gladly adopt and share their words here:
I don’t believe that each of us is weak and powerless. Each of us can do our part in confronting and reporting bullying. Each of us can speak up when we see others wronged. Each of us can initiate change and let the targeted know that they are not alone. That is vital to making this world a better place. Together we can build on individual efforts and create lasting change, but it takes individual commitment and group collaboration as well.
To preserve and strengthen democracy, we vote.
Here I report on some examples of leadership that can give us hope and ways that we can modify and adopt to our own situations.
In a town where graffiti targets Jews and people of color, how can the community respond? Reading, Mass., a town of some 25,000 persons that was incorporated in 1644, is today demonstrating needed leadership.
The Massachusetts Human Rights Coalition (MAHRC) held their first annual meeting at the State House on Friday, October 12, "Bending the Arc: Advancing Human Rights in the Commonwealth."
Photo: Bending the Arc participants gather on grand staircase at State House
The lesson of the day can be stated simply,
No one is free unless we are all free.
Of special interest:
See report on transgender civil rights in this story; vote YES on 1 to preserve civil rights for transgender persons in Massachusetts.
Useful information for starting and developing a human rights group.
The Oracle is looking for examples of what people have been doing to combat bullying and to build healthy community life. Here is one example of creating a code of conduct. What do you think?
I am a "Big City Tenant." Living in Big City public and subsidized housing, I have seen and experienced that bullying is a huge and far reaching problem for elderly persons and people with disability in Big City. Legislation would help combat this cruelty.
Bending the Arc: Advancing Human Rights in the Commonwealth
The Massachusetts Human Rights Coalition (MAHRC) held their first annual meeting at the State House on Friday, October 12, "Bending the Arc: Advancing Human Rights in the Commonwealth."
Photo: Bending the Arc participants gather on grand staircase at State House
The lesson of the day can be stated simply,
No one is free unless we are all free.
MAHRC is an informal association of municipal human rights commissions, non-profits, and government agencies that work to promote human and civil rights and harmonious community relationships at a local level. The meeting was co-sponsored by Senator Jason Lewis and Representative Paul Brodeur.
Adam LaFrance and Neil Osborne, members of the Steering Committee of MAHRC, facilitated the meeting. Adam is the Chair of the Melrose Human Rights Commission. Neil is the Director of Diversity for Medford.
Transgender issues
Mimi Lemay
That we must all be free was most poignantly clear in the presentation of Mimi Lemay, one of the panelists speaking to "Community Organizing and Transgender Legal Protections." Mimi Lemay is the mother of three, one of whom is her son Jacob, who transitioned at the age of five. Following a very complex and sensitive situation for her and the family to negotiate, she went public about their success and happiness and has had considerable positive public response. She opened a door to our understanding and appreciation of the issue of gender identity in our times.
Lisbeth DeSelm, Alexandra Chandler, and Valerie Frias brought additional experiences and insights to the discussion.
Question 3
We also learned about the intent and meaning of Question 3 on the ballot. A "Yes" vote would continue existing legal protections for the civil rights of transgender people, a "No" vote would expose transgender people to prejudice and harm in public settings. The "No" proponents make a lot of noise about sexual predation in public bathrooms, despite the lack of evidence of any such danger since the law was passed. The impact of restricting the civil rights of a person is to create psychological harm, practical barriers to full participation in society, and to diminish them as somehow less human.
Starting a Human Rights Organization
The afternoon breakout session on "Creating a Human Rights Organization in Your Community" proved of tremendous value, because each of the panelists is experienced in starting and running a human rights group.
The panelists were:
Stephen Bressler, who worked for Brookline in human rights for decades;
Kathryn Bonfiglio, President of Belmont Against Racism, a non-profit group;
Linda Snow Dockser is past chair of the Reading Human Relations Advisory Committee, and one of the founding members of Reading Embraces Diversity, the non-profit group for human rights, and is also Vice Chair of the Reading School Committee;
and William Chetwynd, one of the founders and a current member of the Wakefield Human Rights Commission and past member and Chair of the School Committee.
One of the issues presented by Kathryn Bonfiglio was to consider the pros and cons of being part of the municipality vs. being an independent non-profit. It is not a simple choice and each situation is different. An official group has a peer relationship with other municipal departments, but may have little funding and be constrained by the rules of the open meeting law. Official groups are bound by specific requirements which, while assuring transparency, can restrict informal discussions among the members of the group; see Massachusetts Public Records Law, M.G.L. c. 66 § 10 An independent group may have some greater freedom from the concerns of elected officials and has the advantage of being able to raise funds to enable a variety of outreach activities. An official group affirms the commitment of the community, while an independent group has greater flexibility.
The first suggestion is that at this stage "human rights organization" is not the right way to promote understanding of our goals. People don't know they need "human rights." Focus on what they need and have always done: fair play for all, inclusion, respect, welcoming all. This approach reinforces our sense that we should work to enhance and build on our positive history and traditions. This can be done through the choice of names: For example, Reading created an informal group to advance human rights and called it "Reading Embraces Diversity." Another example is "Winchester Multicultural Network: Building Inclusive Community." Winchester has a film series called "One Winchester, Many Traditions..."
Engage a number of leaders including representatives of the police, schools, city council, business community, elderly, the disability community, minority groups, newcomers. Involve the Chief of Police and the Superintendent of Schools, the experience in many communities is that they will be key members of any organization---either in person or by nominating a representative. Ask the Superintendent to include youth, one or two high-school students.
The main idea was that we need to get people together in the same room and listen to each other. This can be a panel discussion and workshop, and/or a community forum.
Getting people together seems more important when starting out than deciding on an organizational format.
"Most issues can be resolved if we get together to talk," said Bill Chetwynd.
Restorative Justice
Informal discussions mentioned positive things to say about restorative justice as an alternative to court actions. One of them said they have seen positive results. And there is a legal basis for using it. We know that mediation is inappropriate where the parties may not be of equal power status. So a quiet, private and confidential setting for the resolution of grievances through restorative justice might be a good additional resource to bringing people together and creating better understanding.
Is restorative justice appropriate for resolving issues of bullying or for violations of human rights? Where has it been used and has it proved effective?
So let's explore that direction, let's see where it might be appropriate to consider. Please volunteer to form a small group to research and explore the pros and cons of restorative justice and report back to us what you learn.
I am very grateful to everyone who helped to make the gathering at the State House so informative and inspirational.
The mission of Communities for Restorative Justice is to provide a restorative justice option within the criminal justice system, wherein:
Victims of crime are given the opportunity to address the people who have harmed them, ask questions in a safe environment, and help determine how the harm should be repaired.
Offenders better understand the impact of their actions, are held meaningfully accountable, and are encouraged to make amends to those they have harmed.
The community offers support for the process, strengthening community connections, and engaging in matters of concern to its members.
Supporters
We enjoyed a free vegetarian Egyptian lunch by Koshari Mama, a north shore catering company, and coffee was donated by the Melrose Starbucks.
In a town where graffiti targets Jews and people of color, how can the community respond? Reading, Mass., a town of some 25,000 persons that was incorporated in 1644, is today demonstrating needed leadership.
The challenge
For some years, Reading turned the other cheek to hateful graffiti that took place in the town, holding tight to the belief that such events were better ignored than acknowledged. Fear of copycats and failure to understand the impact of these symbols as expressions of hate curtailed efforts by the Human Relation Advisory Committee and others to promote educational programs or ratify a Human Rights Resolution in town.
Reading meets the challenge
After a new spate of swastikas in the schools and the public library, Dr. John Doherty, the Superintendent of Schools faced the problem head on. He consulted with the Anti Defamation League (ADL) and met with the Jewish Community. He initiated professional development for teachers, encouraged addressing the meaning of the swastika in social studies and other classes, and wrote grants to fund the ADL’s A World of Difference Peer Leader Program, Facing History, and the MVP Violence Prevention Program. The MVP grant partnered the schools with the New England Patriots and the District Attorney’s office to provide training to student leaders to prevent violence.
Protocols were developed to empower everyone to address incidents of hate when they were discovered. The protocols included informing the students and school community, and using each incident as a teachable moment. In response to students' reports, a sweep was done of the buildings to find any remaining swastikas. Assemblies were held including a pilot of Upstander Training and presentations by Dr. Anna Ornstein, a Holocaust survivor and Professor of Child Psychiatry.
Teachers planned the Unity Project bringing students, faculty and community together at the high school to create a visible web of yarn that reflected the beauty of the diversity of the community.
And the leaders of the town---town manager, police chief, superintendent of schools---worked together to understand and to respond to the underlying divisions and the overt hate.
Reading Embraces Diversity
While this was happening, a new group was born: Reading Embraces Diversity (RED). With the launching of this group and the support of the Human Relations Advisory Committee, and invitations to local officials, educational programs were planned and crowds attended.
Town Manager, Robert LeLacheur, Jr. in October, 2017, at the first meeting of RED, stated an important and courageous perspective.
In Reading, during the past few months, we have seen specific hurtful and hateful symbols and words aimed at the Jewish religion, at African Americans, and at sexual identity or orientation. To be clear, these symbols and words, plus all they stand for, are not the least bit welcome in our community. They are not OK.
These acts have begun to divide the community between those that see the graffiti as a form of harmless attention-seeking pranks, typically done by kids, to those that see terror through these words and symbols of hate.
Last March, as part of the annual budget process, I stepped clearly outside the bounds of my position as defined by the Charter when I wrote these words to our Town Meeting:
“...there is an issue of deep concern to me and some of my peer Mayors and Managers: the fragile and decaying civility in public discourse certainly influenced by national politics. We see divides in our communities forming---if one looks carefully they are actually not easy to label or describe, let alone find a way to bridge...Some residents seem bent on winning a debate as if it is a contest, instead of sitting down as a community to find common ground and solutions. Unfortunately we still seem to be on that downward path, as a community and broadly as a society.”---Robert LeLacheur, Jr.
Listening and learning
The next day, Reading began to turn the path upward. On October 4, 2017, RED sponsored "A Night of Listening and Learning" at Reading Memorial High School. The speakers included Reverend Jamie Michaels, pastor of Old South United Methodist Church, Town Manager Bob LeLacheur and Superintendent of Schools Dr. John Doherty, and the honored guest, Dr. Anna Ornstein.
LaLacheur noted that the town had recognized the seriousness of the grafitti along with a decay in the level of civil discourse. LaLacheur reported that he was working closely to address the issues together with Police Chief Mark Segalla and Superintendent Doherty.
Reading Rallies Against Anti-Semitism
A year later, on Sunday October 21, 2018, Reading marked a new chapter with a rally held on the town common, Reading Rallies Against Anti-Semitism. It was sponsored by the full Select Board and Reading Embraces Diversity. Speakers included a broad representation of elected officials, school committee, residents, Tali Shorr, a senior at Reading Memorial High School, supported by State Senator Jason M. Lewis and Representative Bradley H. Jones, Jr. as well as Robert Trestan for the Anti-Defamation League New England, and a Holocaust survivor.
All stood together and spoke about community, brotherhood, and love---and against hate.
Symbols can inflict pain
The target of hate lives in uncertainty and fear, with the resulting physiological mechanisms of stress that do internal physical and emotional damage. Two speakers made this clear: Tali Shorr, a courageous high school senior who would not ignore the swastika she discovered at school, and Dr. Anna Ornstein, who survived the death camp at Auschwitz together with her mother under the banner of the Nazi swastika.
Tali Shorr, high school student at Reading Memorial High School, addresses rallyDr. Anna Ornstein, Holocaust survivor and child psychiatrist, addresses the rally
Symbolic acts can heal
Reading met on the town common to assert fundamental American values of inclusion, respect, and decency. People from other towns attended in solidarity because no community is immune, and Jay Gonzalez, a candidate for Governor, and faith leaders of several denominations also stood witness among the listeners.
The guest of honor was Dr. Anna Ornstein, Holocaust Survivor and Professor of Child Psychiatry. Her experience of facing death in Auschwitz did not crush her spirit, and she has gone on to try to understand the impact of hate on the individual, the inner sources of resilience, and to develop a process to enable a victim to heal and be resilient. She speaks to students in Reading on a regular basis in her mission of love and redemption.
The assembly listened to Dr. Ornstein in awe, recognizing a greatness of spirit and a person of compassion.
Dr. Anna Ornstein addresses rally
After the event, I was privileged to speak briefly with Dr. Ornstein, and we started to discuss perspectives on hate and resilience in the face of hate. Anna Ornstein is a vivacious, engaging, and brilliant conversationalist and a powerful speaker, and a person who radiates love.
Dr. Anna Ornstein chats with young resident of Reading
It was a new beginning for Reading as the town has begun to openly recognize a problem and can start to heal. And as Dr. Linda Snow Dockser, vice-chair of the school committee and a member of Reading Embraces Diversity noted in closing the assembly, the rally was possible because of the willing cooperation of many.
Can Reading be a guide for other communities?
Hate takes many forms, from malicious gossip, to targeting individuals for who they are or what they are, to hate speech, to acts of vandalism, and to social, emotional, and physical violence.
In our work with the Stop Bullying Coalition, we have learned how bullying can spread like a contagion in a multifamily residential community. Bullying is the use of psychological and social attacks on someone because they are "other" and it is the weak cousin of other forms of hate, such as hate speech. The wellsprings of hate seem to be in fear, insecurity, anger, and a search for power over others by appealing to the fear and insecurity of others. The dynamics of hatred and exclusion and power-grabbing tend to be similar at every social level. Can we ever keep hatred from growing too strong and destructive?
I believe that we need to do as Reading is doing---at every social level---band together, speak out, listen to each other, work through our differences, and keep at it. We must not ignore hatred and discrimination, but instead confront it wherever and whenever it appears, lest it grow too powerful.
In my lifetime I have witnessed the Holocaust which began by attacks on "the others," and ended with the murder of millions; and even today in many lands, including our own, people are being targeted for being "others"---refugees and immigrants fleeing persecution or for being a different religion or ethnicity.
Any society can run amok with hatred. Good people can turn from loving their neighbors to hating them, and even to killing them.
No human group can ever reach perfection. We can only strive to suppress our worst instincts and encourage the good. And as painful as it may be, we can never improve ourselves or our communities unless we openly confront our failings.
Can Reading be an example of leadership to other communities? Does it not make sense to organize a human rights group in order to strengthen the forces of love and prepare to defend against the forces of hate---before there is a crisis? Recovery from disaster takes more time and resources than prevention.
References
ADL: Founded in 1913, the Anti-Defamation League (ADL) is our nation’s premier civil rights/human relations organization. https://www.adl.org/
The Oracle is looking for examples of what people have been doing to combat bullying and to build healthy community life.
We have suggested that a road to prevent bullying sees landlord, management, and tenants working together to create a polity, a form of governance with accepted norms and rules that are enforced, and with a means to resolve disputes. Everyone shares responsibility and no person—housing provider/landlord, manager, staff, resident, visitor either bullies or is bullied.
We are glad to learn of any positive effort to train and educate about bullying and to create a shared sense of appropriate behavior. Here is the example of creating a "Code of Conduct" developed at a senior affordable housing community, "The Turtles" in Beverly, Massachusetts. We are grateful to Ms Stewart for sharing this story.
Creating a “Code of Conduct”
By Shirley Stewart LCSW
Stewart is the Resident Service Coordinator at Turtle Creek/Turtle Woods
The idea of creating a “Code of Conduct” for Turtle Creek/Turtle Woods (Senior Affordable Housing) was inspired by a Bullying Presentation here at “The Turtles,” led by Robin Krawczyk, LICSW of Jewish Family & Childrens Services (JF&CS). [Krawczyk presents examples of bullying and offers a variety of constructive ways for staff, bystanders, and victims to respond.] In addition to her wonderfully beneficial presentation, she left us with “food for thought” along with some sample codes of conduct to use if we chose to develop our own.
We asked for residents to sign up if they would be interested and able to participate in a short term focused task group. The response was favorable. Once we had our volunteers from each building, we began our work with a group of residents from each building. One of out initial goals was to keep the groups small enough so everyone would have the chance to be heard. Communication to the community and management went out via e-mails and newsletters.
The residents held three meetings. Property Management and Resident Service Coordinators sat in on the first meeting in a supportive role to oversee the process, and generally answer questions. A lower management profile was kept for the second meeting which actually went quite well. Residents seemed to have given a great deal of thought to what had been discussed, and came back ready to work. The third meeting was somewhat of a disaster, as the task for that joint meeting was to have the two groups sit together to merge the two drafts into one. Unfortunately, no one could agree on how to do that, so the task was basically tabled.
After a few weeks of inertia, I stepped up to the plate to merge the two drafts, while attempting to preserve “the flavor” of both groups' efforts. The final draft was informally circulated a bit, before being sent on to management. Once approved, a sigh of relief and sense of accomplishment was undoubtedly felt by all who had participated. Mission accomplished!
There has only been positive resident feedback since delivery. Going forward, The TC/TW “Code of Conduct” will be included in all new resident packets. We are hopeful that all of our residents will become active advocates for our “Golden Rules”.
When the code was delivered to each resident’s door the two sided note read:
Dear Residents,
On the reverse side you will find the long awaited “Code of Conduct” that has gone through multiple forms of revisions since its inception.
Thank you to the small committee of residents who signed up to be a part of crafting a code that would be inclusive of the values this community wishes to uphold.
Please take time to read it, reflect on it, and in the spirit in which it was created, allow it to serve as a touch stone/reminder in all of our daily interactions.
Turtle Creek & Turtle Woods Code of Conduct
We as residents, recognize that belonging to a community has many advantages, and also comes with responsibilities regarding how we behave in our shared spaces. We strive to be a welcoming and caring community by treating our neighbors the way we would want to be treated.
Our "Golden Rule" includes:
Having mutual respect for one another and care for our surroundings.
Upholding a zero tolerance policy for bullying/or harassment of any kind; teasing, profanity, or negative gossip toward any individual or groups of residents in the community. We embrace diversity and abhor discrimination against anyone, for any reason.
We strive for respectful communication with other members of the community, including both fellow residents & staff.
Everyone who resides here, regardless of race, color, national origin, gender, gender identity, sexual orientation, disability, ancestry, genetic information, marital status, religious affiliation, veteran or active military status, age, familial status, and source of income has the right to live here and to the peaceful enjoyment of their apartment and building.
TC/TW HOUSE RULES establish acceptable conduct for common areas and must be adhered to. No resident, guest, or group can exclude or discourage another resident from group activities, nor dominate, interrogate, or dictate the rights of others.
The Oracle asks for your ideas and experiences.
What do you think of the code in this example?
What do you think of the process that was followed?
Have you been involved in trying something like this?
A guest post by a "Big City Tenant," a colleague living in "Big City" on the West Coast who is seeking to build on examples of advocacy in Missouri and Massachusetts.Pseudonyms are marked with quotation marks, thus: "Henry." Photo of city skyline is for illustration and does not represent "Big City."
“A Big City Tenant”
Living in Big City public and subsidized housing, I have seen and experienced that bullying is a huge and far reaching problem for elderly persons and people with disability in Big City. Legislation would help combat this cruelty.
Elderly and disabled people are involved in bullying in “all ways”—as victims and as perpetrators: neighbor-to-neighbor; management-to-tenant; tenant-to-tenant, tenant-to-neighborhood residents, and manager-to-manager. I believe that Big City needs to prevent bullying of everyone—tenants and management—and including Section 8 tenants who hold a housing voucher and get public assistance for rentals in private market apartments. Section 8 vouchers cannot be used in publicly owned housing.
I have written to my state legislators asking them to pursue anti-bullying legislation.
We must work together to advocate for legislation that will help prevent bullying and protect everyone who lives or works in multifamily public and subsidized housing, and those who have Section 8 vouchers in mixed income housing.
We need to form a coalition to advocate for solutions, and we need to partner with our legislators.
Models of advocacy
We can build on the examples of success in Missouri and Massachusetts.
Edie Stephenson in Missouri
Edie Stephenson, Missouri citizen who advocated for legal protections against bullying of elderly (and disabled) residents of public housing.
In Missouri, Edie Stephenson, partnered with her state representative, Ken Wilson, to create new protections from bullying by amending existing law on elder abuse. Although more work needs to be done in training and education as well as enforcement, a start has been made. This is Edie's story:
I became aware that bullying and abuse of seniors in community living is real when I was targeted.
I became a victim of exclusion and shunning (group bullying), and all with the manager's approval and encouragement. This was mobbing.
Bullying and mobbing is another world of tremendous grief, devastation and pain, which I never knew existed. It is a pain which could move a weak person to destruction, such as loss of home, hospitalization, commitment to a mental health facility, or even death.
I learned senior bullying and abuse is ignored, but it does exist, not only in independent living, but in assisted living, and even in full time care facilities such as rehab centers and hospitals. You read about it, you see it and you hear about it, but then it is forgotten and disappears from view.
Eventually, I went to my representative Ken Wilson, who commenced his efforts, while I continued writing and calling senators, representatives, officials, etc. I pestered many, including the Governor's office, but Representative Wilson was the person who got it on the books.
All the while, there were and are people who worked against me by contacting people in order to discredit me. Those working against me include the manager where I live, her tenant friends, the landlord, and various state agencies.
Success! Bullying was added to our existing Elder Abuse Law 732 in August of 2016. Ken Wilson got it done! Work toward recognition of bullying, training, education and enforcement by our government and its agencies however, must continue.—Edie Stephenson
The Stop Bullying Coalition
In Massachusetts, a growing public awareness of bullying in schools and business as well as in housing has led to a broad concern about protecting human and civil rights. Advocacy has motivated legislative efforts to address problems of safety and wellbeing in housing as well as in the workplace.
Advocacy by The Stop Bullying Coalition of Massachusetts has already started an educational awareness campaign and has built partnerships with legislators leading to legislative action.
Jerry Halberstadt, Coordinator of the Stop Bullying Coalition, brought together a diverse group of individuals and groups to advocate for legislation to protect tenants of multifamily subsidized and public housing from bullying. They have partnered with legislators to pass groundbreaking legislation to create the first in the nation Commission on Bullying.
The Commission brought together key legislators, several state agencies, and a variety of stakeholders and several representatives of tenants. Halberstadt helped to lead the Commission research efforts to better understand the roots of bullying and how to prevent it, as well as the first survey of bullying in public and subsidized housing. The reports by the Commission will be the basis for targeted advocacy to work with our legislative partners for remedial legislation in the new legislative session in 2019.
Members of the Stop Bullying Coalition met to discuss proposed legislation to prevent bullying with their legislative partners.
Standing: Senator Joan Lovely, Representative Tom Walsh, Jerry Halberstadt, Coordinator of the Stop Bullying Commission
Seated: Mary Margaret Moore, former Executive Director, Independent Living Center of the North Shore and Cape Ann, and Susan Bonner, Legislative Chair, Mass Union of Public Housing Tenants.
Stories of bullying in Big City
Unless someone lives in a multifamily residence, they cannot imagine the stress and suffering caused by bullying.
Although I have not been affected by the bullies that I know are here where I now live, I did have very bad experiences in a subsidized apartment building where I lived, and I am familiar with problems in several buildings in Big City.
Community room issues
One common problem in apartment buildings is that a small clique of mostly women hang out in the community room and gossip. In one building, the clique spends hours every day in the community room. They complain and gossip about tenants they dislike, and verbally trash the managers and maintenance workers. The clique members make up ugly names for some of the tenants, and use these names behind the backs of the victims.
In the community room at "Bad Manors," one man yells loudly at as many as five people at once so that they can’t watch TV.
Bullying of people with disability
In "Sneer Hill Acres," the leader of that clique harassed an elderly woman who had bipolar disorder, causing the victim to be admitted to a psychiatric hospital.
In "Terror Terrace," the managers harassed a friend of mine who lives with disability. My friend had a huge bedbug infestation and had reported it to the management repeatedly. They accused her of imagining the bugs, and refused to eradicate them for her. My friend had to move out of these conditions. Then she hired a lawyer who sued on the grounds that she was discriminated against under the Americans With Disabilities Act. My friend won the lawsuit and collected thousands of dollars.
Another elderly and disabled woman whom I will call "Pat" (not her real name) lives across the hall from "Cal," an extremely aggressive bully in "Notahome," a congregate care building. The bully, "Cal," harasses at least four or five other people. He called one young woman in a wheelchair by the most ugly and insulting sexist word ever. Pat says this bully “gets in her face and screams insults in a very loud voice.” "Sally," who also uses a wheelchair is terrified of Cal. Yet another woman, "Susan," says Cal threatened to slap her and knock her down. One woman is working on getting a restraining order against Cal for elder abuse.
Cal has a cute little Pomeranian that he abuses. He kicks the dog, strangles it, and hangs the dog up from the neck by its leash. He keeps the neighbors awake at night, yelling at his dog. The neighbors have been trying to get the dog removed from the bully’s apartment, but for two weeks they have been unsuccessful in getting the dog rescued.
Another man in "Notahome" tried to break my friend’s hand. In a previous apartment building, a woman bully hit her.
In "Pirate's Lair," in Big City, there is a young-looking elder person I'll call "Patricia;" she says, “I’m retarded.” She is very sweet, and likes to sit in the community room to have company. There is a woman in the building who harasses and bullies her so much that the victim is afraid to come downstairs, and isolates herself in her own apartment. That same bully woman yells at anyone who moves into the apartment next door to her. I have known at least three of her neighbors, and each of them moved out of the building because of that woman’s harassment. Yet the managers will not act against the bully, instead losing good tenants.
In "Lands' End," where I used to live, there was a mentally handicapped man who bullied most of the neighbors, including yelling at neighborhood boys walking by our building, watching me constantly, making strange noises as I came and went, banging on the walls when I went past his door on my way to my own place, and scaring my cat. When I reported the man’s behavior towards me, the manager told me that he’d also harassed her when she first started her job. So she was aware of how he treated people. She gave him 30 days notice to move out if he did not stop bullying me, but when he didn’t stop, she did not kick him out. Instead, she first told both of us we had to get mediation. I refused, since I know that mediation only works with people who are not sociopathic or serial bullies. Then the manager told that she would kick both of us out, if we didn’t “work out our own problems.”
Can tenants organize to prevent bullying?
People will ask, "Why don't the tenants get together to do something about the problems?" It isn't easy and it doesn't always work in the face of bullying and mobbing.
I organized a tenants union a few months after I moved into one building, "City of Hope," where I lived. The meetings were well attended, and I spent 40 hours a month writing a newsletter. I got a lot of compliments on the newsletter. One of the features of the newsletter was a rumor buster. But some of the people said I was spreading rumors. They couldn't understand that I was publishing rumors and then negating the rumors by giving the real facts that I had researched and checked carefully. The lead bully spread rumors about me, and got me deposed from both the leadership position—took it over herself—and the newsletter ended. Attendance fell off at the meetings, and the association disbanded.
People shot me down who had been enthusiastic about my work as an organizer/leader, replaced me with a poseur, and kicked me out. I never could understand how people could be so two-faced.
Managers and staff can be perpetrators
The apartment manager at "Pirate's Lair" bullied "Patricia," the developmentally disabled woman mentioned above, accusing her of doing things she had not done, and told her, “One more thing, and you are OUT!”
This manager is aggressive towards some people in the building, but not all. Such managers affect different people in different ways, choosing their victims carefully.
In one building, "Lost Valley," where I lived, the bullies left me alone. But they were very nasty people. Oh, but there was one serious problem—the manager. Like so many perpetrators, they acted like a sociopath. They hated us all, so I avoided them as much as possible. They even said in meetings that they "love animals, but don't like people." I try to pity them and not hate them. Sometimes I succeeded, other times I am eaten up with hatred for them. The owners never get rid of them! They worked there for over 10 years and no other staff members lasted longer than two and a half years.
Perpetrators, including managers, may seem to be mean, sociopathic people who have had excruciatingly hard lives, and are just lashing out at "life." That's why I am sometimes able to pity our managers, because I know they are miserable.
We need to advocate
I hope these examples of the pervasiveness of bullying in subsidized and Section 8 apartment buildings in Big City will lead to public advocacy for legislative solutions to protect people living with age or disability from bullying.
I urge readers of this article to contact their representatives and state senators and give them information on the bullying problems they are having.
We need to create a coalition to advocate for our rights and for legislation.
Self advocacy is very important. Every tenant needs to find safe ways to repeatedly speak up for their legal right to peaceful enjoyment of their apartment home. There is power in numbers, you are not alone, and if over time people in government authority get repeated complaints about landlords, you will change things.
Urban Skyline from Harbor
As we move towards the 2018 elections, we must ask every candidate for office to pledge action to support our legislative agenda. We can register. And we must vote.
Each of us can act to call out hate. Together, we are strong and powerful. We invite you to join us on the road to inclusion and respect for all.
This Newsletter of the Stop Bullying Coalition represents the findings, views, and interpretations of each author, and their reports on their own work, opinions, and information as well as that provided by others. Each author is solely responsible for any errors or omissions. The opinions expressed herein reflect those of each author and may not always reflect those of the partners of the Stop Bullying Coalition. The Editor and Publisher is Jerry Halberstadt, Coordinator of the Stop Bullying Coalition.
