Today's Dose of Smile-Therapy

A pirate walks into a bar and the bartender says ”Hey  haven’t seen you around in a while. You look terrible.” The pirate replies “What do you mean.? I feel fine.” The bartender  says “What about the wooden leg? You didn’t have that before?”  “Oh, we were in a battle and I got hit  by a cannon ball, but I’m fine now.”

The bartender next questions where the pirate got the hook. “What happened to your hand?” “Well we were in another battle and I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight, with my hand getting cut off. But I got fitted with this hook and I’m really doing good now,” said the pirate.  “And what about that eyepatch?”, the tender asks. The pirate replied “Well, we were at sea one day and a flock of birds were flying overhead, nature called and I unfortunately took the brunt of it.”  “You’re kidding me—you lost an eye over that?” The pirate embarrassingly replies, Well….it was the first day with my new hook.”

Joke #2
Once a parent always a parent: A 75 year old father flew across country to celebrate with his son for his 50^th birthday. After a festive lunch, they decided to see a movie.

Since the father paid for the meal, the son wanted to pick up the tab at the movie theatre. “Don’t be silly” said the dad. He slapped down a twenty and told the cashier “One senior citizen and one child.”