Lawnmower Parent - Who Me?
Have you heard about parents who keep an overly watchful eye on their child’s every move and then swoop in to save the day at the first sign of trouble. But have you heard of Lawnmower Parenting?
While the helicopter parent hovers and worries, the lawnmower parent
takes it even further, stepping in to clear their child’s path of potential
obstacles and challenges. This prevents their child from having to
experience any feelings of pain, sadness, discomfort or disappointment.
If any of these scenarios sound familiar, you might be a Lawnmower
Parent.
• You panic when you realize your child forgot his math
homework, so you run it right over to the school in time for class.
• Your daughter misses a day of school from illness, but instead of
having your child follow up with her teachers, you reach out to
the school to collect her makeup work.
• Your son has a dentist appointment that conflicts with
next week’s baseball practice, but instead of having him
communicate it to his coach, you reach out to the coach to
explain.
• Your child is feeling really anxious about having to make a
presentation in class, so you contact the teacher and push for an
alternate arrangement.
While it’s normal and natural for us to want to protect our children, this type of parenting can have long-lasting, harmful effects.
• It sends the message that, “my parents – not me – are the only
ones equipped to make decisions and handle challenges in my
life.”
• It creates youth who increasingly feel “entitled” and expect
things to always go their way with minimal effort on their part.
• Most dangerously, this type of parenting shelters children from
experiencing and dealing with any type of adversity. It’s only a
matter of time before something goes wrong and it’s out of our
control. –When that happens, our children need to have positive
coping skills to deal with their situation.
Lawnmower parenting doesn’t let them develop coping skills. Instead,
our children may act out aggressively, negatively internalize what they’re feeling, or possibly turn to substances in an attempt to get a handle on their emotions.
This manner of parenting is a disservice to your child. If we want our sons and daughters to become happy and healthy adults, we must teach, encourage, and guide them to begin to think, speak, and make decisions for themselves.
We need to let them learn from their mistakes and help them process and handle adversity appropriately and positively. If it comes time that they have done their part advocating for themselves and a situation remains unresolved, then we can step in to assist.
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Kindly shared with permission for Prevention Action Alliance
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