As the child of Taiwanese immigrants, I often feel quietly estranged from my family history. I simply have fewer prompts to remind me of my ancestors — our shoes rest on pavement separated by oceans; the histories I was schooled in were rarely the ones their lives were woven into.

Maybe this is why I was so moved by writer Amy Choi’s reckoning with her own family history as a first-generation Korean American. In her This Movie Changed Me conversation, she talks about how watching The Joy Luck Club “was the first time that I realized that my family didn’t exist in a vacuum....We’re not just born fresh. We come with ancestors and families and a whole history that’s wound up in that.”

What is it about feeling connected to our family histories that we find so comforting or perspective-shifting? And what do we lose when we are severed from that kind of connection with ourselves, the depths of our pasts? I find inspiration in sculptor Dario Robleto’s insight into these questions:

“Sometimes I’m overwhelmed when I think of how many people have ever been on this planet and the tiny fraction of them that are actually remembered to this day. Even two, three generations down the road, it's easy to start forgetting. So memory has a spiritual dimension in that way to me....My grandmother who I was deeply close to, I remember her deeply every day. And when I go, probably no one's going to remember her in that way again. So for the next few decades, her memory is still, in a sense, life after death.”

Amy and Dario’s experiences with remembering (or forgetting) family members sit in an interesting and fruitful tension with each other. I like to think of their reflections as another form of what this week’s On Being guest, U.S. Poet Laureate Tracy K. Smith, alludes to when she says, “Love doesn’t just exist between two people who have chosen each other.” Sending love to you, wherever your shoes rest this week. You can continue the conversation with me at newsletter@onbeing.org.

Yours,
Kristin Lin
Editor, On Being Studios

P.S. — We’d like to invite you to a live recording of our fantastic and fun podcast This Movie Changed Me in New York on Wednesday, November 14. For more information and tickets, visit here.

Here are three essays on the connection of kinship:

“Grandmothers, Mothers, Me” by Esther Cohen
A poet traces the path of her life through her Rumanian grandmother and the women who followed.

“In Praise of Chosen Family” by Courtney E. Martin
We don't choose our family, as the old saying goes, but we do choose our friends. An encouragement to discover people to surround ourselves with and scout friends who beget our culture.

“In a Family, We Raise Each Other” by Kao Kalia Yang
Kao Kalia Yang reflects on how caring for her younger siblings has taught her about "life's possibilities and the different pathways that people can take into the road of tomorrow."

Read | “How Reading Poetry Helps Us Ask for a Better World” | Electric Literature
Recommended by executive producer Liliana Maria Percy Ruíz

Peruse | Women Who Draw
Recommended by associate art director Lilian Vo

Read | “Miscarrying at Work: The Physical Toll of Pregnancy Discrimination” | The New York Times
Recommended by editor Kristin Lin

We’re delighted to take part in live conversations across the country and would love to meet you in person. We regularly update this section with new and upcoming events.

Logan, UT
Krista Tippett at Utah State University
Wednesday, November 7, 2018, 7:00 p.m.
Eccles Conference Center Auditorium

Krista will be speaking on the mystery and art of living as part of Utah State University’s Tanner Talk series. The event is free and open to the public, and no registration is required. You can find more information here. 

New York, NY
On Being at WNYC’s Werk It Women’s Podcast Festival
with Claudia Rankine
Monday, November 12, 7:00 p.m.
The Kaye Playhouse at Hunter College

Krista will be in conversation with poet, essayist, and playwright Claudia Rankine. Rankine is the author of Citizen: An American Lyric, a provocative meditation on race in contemporary society that was a finalist for the National Book Award. She lives in California and teaches at Yale University as the Frederick Iseman Professor of Poetry. You can purchase tickets here.

New
Wake Forest, NC
Krista Tippett at Wake Forest University
Thursday, November 15, 6:00 p.m.
Wait Chapel, 102W

Krista will be speaking as a part of the Voices of Our Time series. The event is free and open to the public, and no registration is required. You can learn more here.