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The Candle of Hope
Week One - Day Five
The Enough of Slimy Kisses
by Andi Cumbo-Floyd
He’s moving into clothes for a 12-month old here in the week after his 5-month birthday, and every time  we go out, someone asks how old he is and then says, “He’s big.” I grin. Yes, he’s big.
He’s also mine, the son we ached for over years and years. The one who came to us after 18 months of fertility treatments and the miscarriage of his sister. The one who I didn’t believe would actually come to live with us until the night when his water spilled beside our bed at 41 weeks of pregnancy.
Now, he lays on a blanket my mother made before she died 8 years ago this past Thanksgiving and that the mother of my new step-mother sewed into a baby blanket just for him. He is the product of lifetimes – some I’ve known and one I don’t, a gift from the egg donor who gave us half of his DNA. Still, he’s mine, completely and utterly.
Waiting for someone who I could not – almost dared not – imagine has made me grateful, but not in a pure way. I still groan to get up and feed him at  3am and sometimes long for days when leaving the house didn’t require the same amount of packing that I used to do for a weekend away. I miss the way my writing life could feel all my waking hours without distraction. I miss a lot.
But in quiet moments, when he, his dad, and I lay on our bed and he slimes us with his first kisses, I feel what I know is the truest test of our waiting of our hoping: contentment. A gentle settling in my souls that says, “We are enough. This. This is enough.”
This new life with this big five-month-old isn’t perfect. It isn’t without frustration or travail. But it is an answer to years of hoping. It is enough.
With love,
Andi Cumbo-Floyd
See you tomorrow with quotes for inspiration.
xo
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About the Author: Andi Cumbo-Floyd
 Andi Cumbo-Floyd is a writer, editor, and farmer who lives at the edge of the Blue Ridge Mountains with her husband, son, four dogs, three cats, six goats, and thirty-one chickens. She writes regularly at Andilit.com.
Her books include Steele Secrets, Charlotte and the Twelve, The Slaves Have Names, and Writing Day In and Day Out.
Her new book, Love Letters to Writers: Encouragement, Accountability, and Truth-Telling is now available.
You can connect with Andi at her website, andilit.com, or via Facebook and Twitter.
You may join her mailing list to be notified of new blog posts and receive fresh love notes.
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