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"Your story is what you have, what you will always have. It is something to own. - Michelle Obama. Becoming

What I imagine Michelle and Barack are like all the time now.

What had happened was... 😅

So, I have some good news and some bad news. The good news first: 'E is for Everything' has over 1,000 subscribers! It's kind of bananas. Here I was thinking I was making a little newsletter in a corner of the internet (I know, 1,000 subscribers means I still am...but #smallwins). So, welcome to all of our new folks

Now, the bad news: my old hosting company bumped up the monthly costs to send the newsletter, and they wouldn't let me send it without paying them ... but they also didn't give me a way to pay them. 😡 Filed under: how not to make money. So, I switched to a new service provider and muddled through the first week I can remember where I didn't send the newsletter. Here's hoping MailChimp doesn't let me down. Also, I won't send out a newsletter the weekend after Christmas Day. I'll be in Chicago dodging snowflakes.❄️

What's worth reading this week (and last week) 🗞️

  1. If you want to unlock the history of the oceans, check a whale’s earwax. Seriously. Speaking of headspace, here’s a new way to become more open-minded. Also, we’re in a sex draught in the U.S., and here’s why. Oh, and life expectancy is on the decline. Thanks, inequality. Also, here’s how to be cheap, fun, and still have friends. Also, what’s your speed in your life, health, and work? Speaking of health, the insect apocalypse is here and wrongful convictions are on the rise.
  2. Your identity can change when you get a job, and here’s the secret to being witty. Also, stop canceling and rescheduling things. This is how CEOs retire, and this is the art of being well and woke. Also, these are the world’s most efficient languages. Guess the best time to work out? (Hint: It’s not later.)
  3. Got a sales to funnel? Why not replace it with a sale s flywheel. Meanwhile, here’s how you can tell if you are delegating too much. Here’s how to know if you are delegating too much. The strongest predictor of men’s wellbeing may surprise you. Also, there’s a movement focused on your bowel movements
  4. On the technology of identity and the loss of self. Meanwhile, here are seven tips from Earnest Hemingway on writing fiction. On another note, does your generation have a beach villain? Whoever it is, your generation deserves it. Also, the high road is pretty much empty, so you might as well take it. And debate is stupid. No, that’s not up for debate. This is how you take care of everyone without burning out. I love Pocket. Here are their best reads for the year.
  5. Here’s what happens when meditation goes wrong, and this is why we never forget how to ride a bike. Speaking of forgetting things: does your boss have a new idea every minute? Here’s how to work for them and not go bonkers. Also, how long can people live? While you’re within the confines of this mortal coil, here’s the math behind getting rich by investing and in stocks. Oh, wonder why your millennial isn’t spending, Mom and Dad? They’re poor — poorer than you were at their age. Also, here’s why grad school may be bad for your brain. And is this woman storytelling’s savior?
🌟Bonus: Where Khe Hy breaks down why the content business isn’t all it’s cracked up to be, and I trust him over this. Khe is also an amazing personal finance guru, so hit him up if you want to figure out your finances with someone who can help you align your financial goals with what drives your soul. 💰💖

The essay: How to write about your life ✏️


It’s the season of gratitude and togetherness. It’s also the season to curl up in a blanket or hop on a plane and dive into a long, inviting book. This season, I chose Michelle Obama’s “Becoming”, the story of her life from her earliest memories to today. This window into one of the rarest forms of existence, that of a superlative First Lady alongside a superlative President, is absolutely jaw-dropping. 

There’s no question that the Obamas are an extraordinary couple. They’re driven, and they thrive on the energy that comes from constantly pulling one another across a center-line of learning. By that I mean he’s a little bit jazz while she’s a bit classical, he’s a zig-zag while she’s a straight line, he is chaos and she is order. Between them is a line — a line of learning. He pulls her a bit into his chaos, and when he does, she learns. She pulls him a bit into her order, and he learns. “Becoming” is an exploration of traveling constantly across that line and, every time, learning how far you can go past anything you dreamed for yourself. 

I’m only a third of the way through the book, and I have cried twice. The book is full of moments and thoughts that almost entirely mimic my own. Everything from being accused of “talking like a white person” ... to being the only black woman in room after room ... to having a huge, loving family rotating around a small, powerful nuclear one ... to having a brother you couldn’t be more proud of ... to having parents who set the most perfect example of how to be in the world — I know it all. Line after line, the message keeps getting stronger: write your story — now.

One of the strongest lessons in Mrs. Obama’s book is that everyone has a story, and that story has value. We can’t all sell out stadiums on our book tour (with tickets going for as much as roughly $5,000 a seat), but that doesn’t mean our stories don’t matter. Here’s why: another big lesson from “Becoming” is that the path to having a huge impact is paved with believing that every little bit of difference you can make matters as much as the big, sweeping, strategic ones. 

Cultivating a regular writing habit is difficult. The main challenge for me is overcoming self-doubt. Short of having a watershed presidency to write about, I am plagued by the question: do I have anything valuable to share? Reading about the seemingly mundane details of Barbie dolls and basketball games in Mrs. Obama’s book delivers the answer: yes. It’s all worth capturing even if it never gets shared widely. The Barbies and basketball games take on a new, intense meaning when taken alongside the experiences of subsequent years. The small details matter, because somewhere along the way everything comes together. 

There’s a reason we sit and read the wedding stories of average couples, devour advice columns, and listen with rapt attention to shows like The Moth. We find others’ stories fascinating. We see similarities and find comfort; we see differences and learn. Everyone’s story matters. 

Collecting those small moments takes confidence and discipline. Daily journaling helps. Capturing your story also takes a real interest in your life and others' lives. It also takes trust -- trust that someone, somewhere will find what you learn from your observations to be valuable — and rest assured, someone will.

🤝 Your support matters. Period. 🤝


Thank you so much to all of the 1,000+ subscribers to 'E is for Everything' and especially those like Natalya Pemberton of the Presidio Graduate School. Natalya has been with me and donated to support this little, crazy newsletter since its earliest days. I do 'E is for Everything' for fun, but sending newsletters isn't free (sadly). So, your support matters. Natalya has generously supported E is for Everything on Patreon. Please jump on through or click on the big orange button to learn more about how you can support this newsletter too. (Yes, I am a bit behind on 'thank you notes' -- they are coming!)
I got you fam.

Um, you missed something... 👋


I'm imperfect, and I'm cool with that. Do you wish I shared something else? Did I get something wrong? (Failure is learning.) Please reply directly to this e-mail. I will always and whenever possible give credit where it's due for great recommendations and inspiration. Have a great week around the corner.
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