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Links and other thoughts about management, from Melanie Nelson.
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I've been thinking a lot lately about "work-life balance" and the idea that this is something you can "figure out." I am not a huge fan of the term, because I don't think of my work and my life as two separate things that need to be balanced. I think of my life as one big messy container that encompasses my paid work, my family, my various side projects (some of which make money, some of which do not), my hobbies, and more. There is no "balance," really, just finding the right mix for me and my family. Sometimes, my container gets filled up with things that don't really add a lot to my life, and I need to jettison those. Sometimes my container gets overfull and I need to pick somethings I do care about to stop doing or do less frequently. I guess that could be considered "balancing," but more I think of it more as getting the mix right. 

One of the things that people often recommend to couples with two careers and kids is to schedule "date nights" to make sure you spend some time focusing on your relationship. I think this works for some people, and I'm glad it does. It is not how my husband and I make time to focus on our relationship, though - our regular "relationship time" is our Friday night routine: After the kids are in bed, we grab a couple of beers, sit on the sofa, watch random things on YouTube, and catch up with each other while also discussing what's coming up for the weekend. Our YouTube watching has evolved into focusing more on music than anything else. My husband plays me songs that have been coming up in his Pandora mix that he thinks I'll like (here's a recent example) and I play him random things from my Twitter feed that I think are interesting (e.g., this Mongolian folk rock/heavy metal). Sometimes we search for the top hits in a different country and see what we find. It is very chill, and importantly, requires no planning. The problem I have with "date nights" is that someone has to figure out where to go and arrange for a sitter, and given that most of my work days are spent figuring out scheduling and other issues, I am just not that interested in doing that work. I want the "relationship time" in my mix, but I don't need anymore "figure out how to make all these things fit together in a schedule" in my mix!

However, we do take advantage of date nights when the opportunity presents itself. This weekend, both of our kids had a sleepover on Saturday night. We headed out for some Christmas shopping (so romantic...) but also took the opportunity to try a new restaurant. San Diegans: the dumplings at Steamy Piggy are delicious!

Speaking of Christmas... Looking ahead to the end of next month, I don't think I am going to have time to write this newsletter. I'm going to take December off from newsletter writing. I'll be back in January!

This Month on Beyond Managing

I went and saw Bohemian Rhapsody, and left the movie thinking about risk-taking and risk mitigation, because I am a giant nerd.

The movie also took me back to the time before we had any effective HIV treatments. The AIDS epidemic was at its peak in my teenage and early adult years. I am not a member of any of the groups who were most affected by the epidemic. It was the back drop of my growing up, but I didn't really understand the full horror of what was happening until later. I was in graduate school when HIV protease inhibitors became available, and death rates started to really fall. I still consider the discovery of HIV protease inhibitors one of the greatest drug discovery success stories of my lifetime. I think the difficulty of that achievement isn't fully appreciated outside of drug discovery circles. I am not at all the right person to tell that story, and I wish I could find a history written by someone who was involved in the work.

The pharmaceutical industry gets a fair amount of grief these days, some of it I think is deserved, some maybe less so. But effective treatments for AIDS and the huge increase in survival rates for most pediatric cancers are two genuine successes of the industry in my lifetime. I know that there are many, many dedicated scientists in pharma and biotech working to make more success stories, too.

Things I Wrote Elsewhere

I have nothing new to link to this month.... Except to say that I had two children's books come out! That is a very different type of writing than what I usually share here, but if you're interested:
  • The Bedtime Battle is a picture book about two friends having a sleepover and conquering the monsters under the bed. It was originally written as a sequel to my second children's book, Petunia, the Girl Who Was NOT a Princess, but we couldn't get the illustrator on board for a sequel, so I reworked it to be a stand alone book.
  • The Magic Trapdoor is an easy reader about a little boy who finds a magic trapdoor under his bed and goes back to the age of dinosaurs. It is written for beginning readers, but I made sure the dinosaurs all lived during the same time period and in the same general geographic area - children's books showing T. rex and Stegosaurus as being contemporaries are a pet peeve of mine! 

Things Other People Wrote

If you are a woman navigating how to be an effective leader, this HBR article has some good information

This HBR career planning article has some good ideas, too.

Derek Lowe has a good write up about the scientific reaction to the news of the babies born after having CRISPR performed in embryo.

And this is just a fun use of data crunching: The repetitiveness of hit songs.

That's all I have this month! See you in January.

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