Gareth K Thomas, 33, runs his own marketing agency and is a single foster carer to two boys, aged nine and 11, and a little girl who’s five. They all live together, along with a black Lab named Charlie, in Cardiff, South Wales.
“Single foster dad” isn’t a title I hear often...
Yep, there aren’t many of us about! I’ve only ever been interested in doing what I think would work. I’m not too bothered by social norms or what “should” happen in life. I’ve never worried about marriage, but raising children was something I’ve always wanted to do.
How did you get into fostering?
I began volunteering with children in 2012 and almost instantly realised how much I loved it. At first, I applied for adoption – successfully – then switched to fostering once I had a better understanding of the whole care system. The kids have now been with me for 18 months and are all doing incredibly well.
What’s an average day like at your house, then?
No two days are the same, although routine plays a huge role when it comes to providing stability for the kids – and sanity for me! During the week, we tend to be very busy with school and after-school activities. The weekends are a little more free-form and we can usually be found out walking somewhere, going swimming or, more often than not, at a birthday party.
We’re all quite active, with lots of sports, dog walks, holidays and other adventures. A few extra hours in each day would be appreciated!
If anyone’s interested in fostering, what should be their first port of call?
Your local authority should be able to signpost you. Generally speaking, you can either foster directly with them or with a private agency. I decided to go with the latter based on recommendations from friends who had done both, but I know plenty of people who are very happy with either option.
Do you have any tips for caring for three kids?
Eat well; sleep well. I’ve believed in that for a long time and even more so since the kids arrived. It’s good advice in general, but when things are getting tough, I make sure we have the best possible food to eat (not necessarily “healthy”, but fresh, home-cooked and delicious) and make sure we’re all getting enough quality sleep. Eating well and sleeping well have the power to start turning everything around.
What has the process of fostering taught you?
Too many things to list and I’m continuing to learn every day. I’m certainly much more aware of the world outside of my own bubble now. And I feel a huge amount of gratitude for so many things I hadn’t even considered before, especially for the childhood I was lucky enough to experience.
Ultimately, it’s taught me how powerful love can be. It helps you deal with the lows in life and to survive complete exhaustion.
And what have you found surprising?
That there continues to be a huge shortage of foster carers. For me, it’s honestly the dream job. I get to change the lives of three people, by running about like a kid again, going away camping and just living the best possible life we can. Who wouldn’t want to do that?
|