 Thinking of Judas
Did you ever have an unfortunate "run-in" with somebody and "cop
an attitude"? "Sister Lizzy's gone too far this time." "I'm
sick of that four-flusher Hal." "I can't believe what that narcissistic,
ego-maniac's done this time!" You know the drill?
First shock, then dismay. Next comes anger, and fantasies of revenge. "Boy,
if I just had the chance, POW, right in the kisser." Before long the list of
injuries (large and small) grows. What started as a hurt becomes a resentment and
now we're in serious trouble. Didn't Jesus say something about "love your enemies
and pray for them that persecute you."? Ah, come on Jesus, you can't mean it.
Well, I've prayed all right. Resentment is a prayer — but hardly the kind
of prayer Jesus had in mind. It's a yelp of protest to a God who seems to have been
ignoring us. It's a confession of how desperately we need to get even, Resentment
is drinking the poison you conjured up for the enemy and killing your own soul instead.
I have noticed when I nurse a hurt, it gives my soul a rash — I get spiritual
itches inside. Headaches, tension, upset stomach. It's not long before I'm feeling
helpless, weak, distressed: I've broken out with a serious case of "The Triple
P's Syndrome: Poor, Pitiful and Precious".
It sounds silly, and it is silly, but it's a serious kind of silly. It all seems
so obvious natural and right. It's a perfect guarantee to excuse myself and blame
someone else. "I'm the victim here, it's not my fault." And that's the
moment Satan shouts "BINGO"!
Jesus suggested we try another tactic. Instead of nursing anger: pray. Pray for
the one we would prefer not to pray for. Remember Jonah and go to Nineveh, even
if you don't mean it. Ask for the best for the offender. (This has got to be one
of the most disagreeable teachings Jesus ever uttered!) But he said it. Sermon on
the Mount.
Matthew 5:43.
As I watered my garden of resentments this morning, nursing my hurt feelings
and contemplating how pathetic they really are, I had a most curious thought. I
caught a glimpse of Jesus hanging on his cross and his lips were moving. I listened
and I heard him utter the words, "This one's for you Judas!"
Hmm.
~ George Miller
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