Pastors Pen Reflection

 

 Dear <<Name>>
     Many times, I put undue pressure on myself to write and be productive. It’s a few days past when I normally would have the Pastors Pen finished but I’ve had a difficult time getting inspired to write something that could inspire you or inspire me for that matter.
 
Lately I’ve felt a bit off my game, a bit side tracked a bit empty. Tears stream down my face as I grieve the loss of our little love Pixie. (Our Dog) It seems the world is not as warm and fuzzy for me right now. I know that with any loss it takes time to process all the emotions involved but it doesn’t help matters that I feel the fragments of the world too in which our relationships are broken, and tensions are high.
 
I know most of you know the feeling of grieving and loss. It is a real and vulnerable place to be. I, like so many others, don’t necessarily care for the pain, anger and sadness. I know that with time it will get better, I will get better and healing will come. But right now, there is a raw emotion intertwined with my pain.
 
It can just be too much.  However, I've learned when life seems like too much and I don't know what to do, I must lean into what I know. I know God remembers me, I know God knows my pain, God knows my heart. I know God hears my tearful prayers and has promised to be with me, the same way God was with those whose stories we read. I must trust and remember that God will send comfort and peace, even when I am heartbroken, lonely and grieving.
 
When my grief feels as if it's going to swallow my spirit whole, I remember God has not abandoned me, and God will not abandon you either. We are part of the eternal covenant of God, even in our brokenness, or maybe especially in our brokenness.
 
God take my broken heart and send your healing to me. God, as others are also feeling broken I pray for you touch upon them too! Thank you for shining your light into our pain.

Blessings
Rev Terri