FROM STATIONERY TO TOP SPEED, IN A SINGLE NEWSLETTER

Welcome back to the Clubhouse.

Lately, a lot of the chat in our headquarters has been about stationery. We've been making some of our own notebooks (find out how to get one here) and obsessing over the careful balance of poetry and performance contained in the perfect pencil. More on that in a moment. 

That's not all we've been thinking about, of course. In this month's Clubhouse, you'll also find menacing public announcements, punctuation diatribes, fragrance floggers and - like all good finales - a high speed police chase. 

Enjoy.

A GUIDE TO PICKING THE PERFECT PENCIL
In the search for superb stationery, you can't afford to stand still

You might have thought that choosing a pencil was a simple enough task. You’re wrong. Have you even considered the wood type? The ferrule shape? The graphite density? Read this, and learn what to look for.

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENTS DONE RIGHT
Make local authorities sinister again
 
Cut the words friendly and approachable out of your tone of voice document. Then sit down and learn the proper way to communicate with 'orrible Joe Public, from the menacing minds behind Scarfolk Council.

BRANDS AREN'T FUNNY ANYMORE
But we could still do with a laugh
 
The best brands used to help us laugh at ourselves. But somewhere along the line, they swapped belly-laughs for self-betterment. Naresh Ramchandani from Pentagram London says it's time to change.

DOWN WITH !
Just leave the ! alone. Leave it.
 
Let’s talk about the worst piece of punctuation, the exclamation mark. Specifically, let’s talk about how you should never use it again.

PERFUME ADS FOR SALE
 Got smells to sell? Step this way.

Catchy comms based on provable product benefits are not an option here. Thankfully, someone's been kind enough to create a bevvy of off-the-shelf perfume ad ideas, all reasonably priced and suitably bonkers.

HOW TO TURN THE PAGE
You’re doing it too quickly
 
Don’t just turn it with a lightly moistened thumb. Build an elaborate machine that turns the process into a long, complicated and deeply satisfying procedure.

STARKSY AND HATCHBACK
Writing shotgun with the Metropolitan Police 

We love to get out on a research trip. This week, as part of a project we're doing with a client and the Home Office, DC Jack Starks reported in for duty with the Metropolitan Police for a day. See him in his stab vest here.