Friends, it’s been a dark few months for those I love. I know so many people who are hurting and have been through REALLY hard things lately. And honestly, I’ve been in a challenging season as well. It just seems that a lot of people are getting beat up by life and it’s heavy.
But recently, I experienced something extraordinary. Some dear friends of mine, who are just about the sweetest people I’ve ever known – seriously – lost their precious baby boy after only 54 days of life. And those 54 days were not easy for him… he struggled and they experienced trauma after trauma after trauma. Probably one of the hardest things someone could go through, wouldn’t you agree? A lot of you can probably relate -- and if you can relate to the loss of a child or watching a newborn go through extreme health issues, I am so so sorry. I can’t imagine.
But let me tell you something about the memorial service. Yes, there were many tears, but the theme of our time was JOY. It was spoken of over and over by every person who got up there. The joy David brought, the unexpected joy that his parents felt – even as they prepared to say goodbye to him on his final day. And joy was modeled as well. We sang of God’s goodness, mercy, sovereignty, grace and compassion throughout the service. And from my seat I watched Tiffany and Jason declare that God is a “good, good Father” with arms outstretched and smiles on their faces. It was so impactful to me, because that shouldn’t be possible! But I watched them do it, knowing that they wouldn’t “fake” it… that’s not who they are.
The phrase that came to mind over and over was “resilient joy”.
Just this morning I was journaling about hope. What I put my hope in (circumstances, safety, comfort, control, etc.) and how that turns out for me. Putting my hope in things that are fully out of my control results in anxiety, fear, bitterness and disappointment. And that feels really crappy. (I hope that word doesn’t offend anyone, but you have to admit it’s accurate!) So what do we put our hope in?? How do I avoid that disappointment and anxiety? Listen to this:
“We continue to shout our praise even when we’re hemmed in with troubles, because we know how troubles can develop passionate patience in us, and how that patience in turn forges the tempered steel of virtue, keeping us alert for whatever God will do next. In alert expectancy (hope) such as this, we’re never left feeling shortchanged. Quite the contrary—we can’t round up enough containers to hold everything God generously pours into our lives through the Holy Spirit!” (Romans 5:3-5, Message version)
This verse is not saying that God will pour out material blessings (money, power, perfect circumstances, etc.) if we praise Him even in our troubles. Tiffany and Jason did that, but they are still grieving the loss of their son. And as far as I know they haven’t won the lottery or anything! The generous gifts Paul is talking about are not material --- they are longer-lasting than that. Peace, love, compassion, and incomprehensible, resilient-among-all-circumstances JOY.
I don’t know about you, but praising God in the midst of pain and struggle is NOT my first instinct. It takes discipline and sometimes I say things that I know about His character through gritted teeth even when I don’t feel that He is good or kind or loving at all. Maybe you don’t even have a relationship with God because you can’t understand how He could possibly be good when you look at your life or the lives of people you love. I don’t have any easy answers for you. Wish I did.
But here’s what I am trying to do, so join me if you want. I’m trying to:
Put my hope in things that I know are true (God’s character and what He says about me), instead of hoping that life will go the way I want it to.(If you don’t know of God’s character or what He says about you, maybe it’s time to do a little research.Let me know if you’d like help digging into that.)
Praise God even when I don’t feel like it.Declare things about Him that I know are true even when life feels unfair or painful.
It’s kind of like an experiment and I have to say, when I do those things it makes a difference. Not in circumstances, but in how they affect me. And when I think “I can’t do this… my circumstances are too challenging”, I picture again in my head Tiffany and Jason, standing with hands raised in the front row of their first-born baby’s memorial service, singing loudly “You’re a good good Father, it’s who You are…. And I’m loved by You, it’s who I am…”
Shannon Miller Pugh
Director of Arise Special Needs Ministry
Irving Bible Church
********************************** Cinco de Paint-O!! with Victory Flows
May 5th from 10-1
at Fellowship Dallas (9330 N. Central Expy, Dallas) Get more info and RSVP here! *****************************
Kickin' Off Summer Bash! With RISE Adaptive Sports
Saturday, May 12th from 9-3
Meadowmere Park in Grapevine
Correction: IBC's Vacation Bible School is not free. Sorry about that! It costs $20/child but scholarships are available if necessary. Here is the link to register (see camp newsletter by clicking the link at the top of this section)
We know this newsletter is getting very long because there are so many
resources to include! It's a great problem to have.
We are working on a new website which will have resources for families and for other churches and organizations serving individuals with special needs. That will help cut down on the amount of information in this monthly email.
Stay tuned! We hope to launch it by the summer!
Arts and Entertainment (all showings are sensory-friendly)
Join other special needs parents for a night of fun and fellowship right across from IBC! We will pay for bowling, but they also have a restaurant/bar and games!
Can't make this one? No problem, we'll catch you next month!
There will be special activities at the church for individuals of all ages with special needs. Contact Shannon for options.
See social opportunities in the "Social Skills" section
Thursdays from 6:30-8:00 at IBC - Missional Community for Adults with Special Needs 5/3 - Family Meal - Dinner and reviewing spiritual rhythms
5/10 - BINGO!
5/17 - Family Meal -Dinner and Foundation Graduation
5/24 - Service Project - Family Promise
5/31 - End-of-Year party!! Contact Shannon for more info
Keep scrolling for support groups, educational resources and information about Arise Special Needs Ministry at IBC.
Know of a resource that should be added? Let us know!
Support Groups:
SNAPS (Special Needs and Parent Support) Group
At St. Ann in Coppell (180 Samuel Blvd, Coppell, Room 323)
2nd Friday of the Month, 7:00-8:30
Nursery, Child Activity Room, and Teen/Young Adult Room available
Please RSVP to Debbie Kaluza crespecialneeds@stannparish.org
Here are some websites and other resources on how to understand and advocate for your child's education. We would love to support you as well -- we have special ed teachers, diagnosticians and therapists on our team who would be happy to answer questions. Just shoot us an email or give us a call (972-560-4613)!
Our Special Needs Ministry offers a variety of services to make attending church accessible for people with special needs and their families. These services span a wide range of needs and ages — from birth to adulthood. For more information, visit our website or Facebook page (links below), or simply reply to this email!
We offer: ~ A specialized environment and Pals at both services (9:00 and 10:45) on Sundays (and for special events) ~ Respite Care once a month
~ Bible study and fellowship for adults with special needs weekly
~ Special events throughout the year, in partnership with other ministries and organizations
