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I'm taking some time this week away from the show to work on some revisions to my book. What they say is true: writing a book is long and hard!
In between sessions of wrestling with my confidence and ability to focus, I am finding a lot of comfort and joy a new routine of playing playlist roulette with my children. It is very interesting to see which songs captures their attention and cheers of "Again!" when they end. My four year-old, heretofore an exclusive loyalist of Lizzo's "Truth Hurts" and the Frozen soundtrack, has recently become a devotee to "American Pie"—all eight-plus minutes of it! Did not see that one coming. The 1.5 year-old is less selective and dances to most tunes, but she'll chime in with her own lobbying to hear Chuck Berry's "Maybellene" on repeat.
It's a small thing, but getting to witness these small people discover these perfect, timeless songs during this strange time is very precious.
I hope you too are finding some regular ol' summer fun in the midst of so much upheaval.
—Anna and the Death, Sex & Money team
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This Week on Death, Sex & Money
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When Bobby Berk left his deeply religious home in rural Missouri at 15 years old, it meant dropping out of high school and figuring out how to pay for everything on his own. "I lived in my car, I lived in people's basements on their sofas, you know, couch surfing," he told me. But he says it wasn't until much later in life, when he'd become successful in business, that he started telling the truth about his early adulthood. "I used to lie and say I went to college," he said. "I would lie about it for employment applications and to people, because I was horribly ashamed."
Bobby now is one of the stars on Netflix's Queer Eye reboot, and over the past two decades he built his own interior design brand. I talked with him about moving to New York, falling in love with his husband, and why he still thinks of himself as "poor." Listen here.
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Your Responses: Childcare during COVID-19
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We've been hearing from parents and childcare providers in recent weeks about the choices they're making around work, their safety, their kids' safety, and the conversations they're having about how to balance it all during a pandemic. Some of these choices are new, and some aren't. Two parents recently shared how they're making it work in their families, including Logan, a stay-at-home mom of an 18-month-old. In an email, she begun by acknowledging that "daily life during the pandemic is becoming more and more lonely and isolating."
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"Being a stay-at-home mom feels isolating to begin with [...], but now, with so many communal activities unavailable, it feels especially lonely to have an energetic toddler running around the house all day. We do get out, to the beach and local parks, so I know I am extremely fortunate for that access and am grateful every day. Still, I miss being around other moms and being able to find solace in collective child rearing. I find I am jealous of my working mom friends, who are often in even harder situations, because I have this idea that their work might feel like 'a break' from childcare, or a distraction, at least.
It feels like Groundhog Day every single day, and I want to know I am not alone."
—Logan, 35, Santa Cruz, CA
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"Childcare during the pandemic has been TOUGH. My husband and I are being emotionally pulled many directions—thankful to have jobs where we are being given the opportunity to work from home, continually exhausted from adding a 2-year-old coworker to our full time, high-communication jobs, feeling stretched to pay for daycare we are not even using, and anxious from the daily reports of 'this child is getting tested, this parent is getting tested' coming from daycare. Our kiddo has asthma so we are committed to keeping him away from transmission risk as much as possible, but clocking two jobs at the same time, parenting and being productive employees, is exhausting. I worry that my kid isn't getting enough attention/educational stimulation/emotional support, and worry that my coworkers are tired of my dashing off of Zoom calls to pick up a teary toddler and scheduling around nap time wake-up.
We can't afford to not pay for daycare—if something changes and it is safe to go back into the office, finding another daycare spot would be next to impossible if we let our spot go now. We take it a week at a time."
—Lizzy, 35, Tacoma, WA
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If you're a parent or a childcare provider, how are you navigating this period? What conversations are you having with your loved ones, your coworkers and bosses, your kids? Tell us in a voice memo or an email at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org.
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Listen to This: Audio We Love
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Some days you just want to listen a deeply funny podcast on pop culture, and for those days, look no further than Las Culturistas, hosted by comedians and self-described "culture consultants" Matt Rogers and SNL's Bowen Yang. For their 200th episode, they made a list of the top 200 moments in culture history. While you'll have to listen to more than one episode to hear their top choice, it's worth it, and the list includes random but accurate gems like #TheDress, the video game Mario Kart, and even Supreme Court Justice (and former DSM guest!) Sonia Sotomayor.
Back in 2017, Reply All host Alex Goldman got a scam call from someone claiming to be an IT specialist who could help protect Alex's computer against malware. But instead of hanging up on the scammer, Alex...talked to him. And then he called him back. And called him back again. And eventually, over the course of this strange phone friendship, went to visit him in India. And what he learned turned into a classic two-part story that we loved. And now, that story has a twist! We won't give much away, but it's worth tuning into this week's show to find out what Alex learned about his scammer recently.
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"DSM has made me cry more than any other podcast and it feels cathartic. Anna's way of interviewing is incredibly unique and makes my heart feel better, especially right now."
—Kaleigh, Denver, CO
Join Kaleigh in supporting our work at Death, Sex & Money!
Donate now at deathsexmoney.org/donate.
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We're still looking for stories from parents and childcare providers!
What choices are you making about childcare right now? Send us an email at deathsexmoney@wnyc.org.
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