Godmother's Advice #025: Fly high

Some people have a funny idea about humility. They think humility means we should make ourselves small. "Don't be too fancy." "Don't stick out." "Keep your head low."

But that's not what humility is. Humility sounds like, "I'm beautiful! I'm talented! I'm lovable! Just like everyone else."

So, yes, be humble. Be humble while giving it your all, doing your best, flying as high as you can. That is, after all, where the wind is.

-The Godmother

Self-confidence in Cambodian youth: My first semester teaching in Cambodia I had a lot to learn. There were all sorts of classroom etiquette with which I was unfamiliar. Students always put two hands together in front of their lips (the proper height for a teacher) when they greeted me. That one was easy. They stand up when they speak in class. Interesting. The best was one I figured out through experimentation. When students passed in front of me, I noticed that they always bent their knees and ducked their head a bit. After some time I realized: they were not to have their head higher than the teacher's. Ah ha! So, just for fun when a student was passing by, sometimes I would bend me knees a little then a little more as they did the same--a dynamic game of limbo with me as the pole. Terrible, I know, but fun all the same.

There are countless things young Cambodians must do to show respect to their elders, people in positions of authority, etc. (Westerners could stand to learn from this.) Unfortunately, making yourself "small" to show respect can translate to thinking yourself small generally. By the time students get to my university class, they're frightened to speak not because they don't know English, not because they don't have anything to say. They lack confidence. This, more than anything else, is what I work on with my students--flying their kites high that they might soar.

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Did you miss a previous Godmother's Advice email?

#001: Khmer boxing & solving problems
#002: Workers' commute & "making room"
#003: Bright balloons & dangerous attractions
#004: Bats and others' ways
#005: Playing in the mud
#006: Tattoos and bad habits
#007: Make-believe
#008: Dental and other care
#009: Boat races and collaboration
#010: Loads carried
#011: Nothing beyond repair
#012: Solid bricks

#013: Toilet left standing
#014: Flying a kite
#015: Everyone is held
#016: Dry fish in the sun
#017: Little children
#018: Worth looking for
#019: Two-way windows
#020: Heroes emerge
#021: A wide net cast
#022: Take what you need
#023: Make your own fun
#024: See what the sun smiles on

Background about this email: Several years ago, I was feeling like an inadequate Godmother due to my absence in the US and, consequently, my absence in my Godsons' lives. I decided to send what little advice I have as someone who has been in the world for 30 years longer than they. Thus was born my Godmother's emails--a tidbit of advice each week. I decided to share these emails with friends and others because I feel that folks need some good, helpful or happy things in their Inbox these days. I hope these Godmother's advice emails are good, helpful or happy for you; otherwise, unsubscribe below.

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