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Surviving the Unknowable
By Stephan Brandstatter, Co-President
A Rabbi friend of mine expressed that perhaps this pandemic will be our collective emergence from this current “captivity”. I have now begun my seventh week of voluntary isolation, except for five forays out into the unknown. We received reports from overseas about Covid19, but who could have imagined that only 4 days after our Purim Palooza party we’d all be relegated to the confines of our homes. And yet here we are with Governor Scott’s extended “stay in place” order until May 15th at the very earliest with a possibility that it may again be extended.
When the virus first hit, there was a frenzy all around us getting systems operational so as to deal with it. It came on suddenly. One moment all was calm, the next was filled with uncertainty. With only my thoughts to keep me company, my mind wandered to images of Anne Frank, hidden away for years, the vast numbers of people who are and have been incarcerated for a variety of reasons (especially those who were imprisoned for no fault of their own), my ancestors and yours and especially Elie Weisel - - their freedoms removed.
While working as a photojournalist, I personally heard Weisel speak in 1982 at The Second American Gathering of Holocaust Survivors where he shared his experience as a prisoner and how he managed to survive: simply by maintaining his Judaic faith, observing religious rituals, prayer, retaining connection to Torah and engaging in community best as possible. I also had the privilege to interview numerous camp survivors who stated they maintained their will to survive by adhering to a self-imposed structured regimen.
I’m not comparing this pandemic to their conditions nor their actions but in thinking of those folks I realized that one must initiate a disciplined daily practice so as to maintain best as possible their sanity, faith and perspective toward tomorrow while continuing to live in the moment. Indulge in yoga, meditation, exercising, painting, creating music, reading and whatever else brings you a sense of balance, harmony and above all joy.
I start my day listening to my original gong/soundscape audio files. For anyone who is especially needing to relax, create mental space for contemplation or meditation, or is feeling stress, angst, anxiety, having pain, can't sleep well at night etc. these sounds usually help. E-mail Stephan at: getmusic@sover.net and I'll forward them to you. Hope they do some good, offer you relief, benefits and that you enjoy them. Don’t despair. The tunnel is long but there’s light at the end of it.
Peace, blessings and Shal-OM.
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BAJC held a zoom Memorial service for Eva on Sunday, April 26th. Below is the eulogy her son, Vern Grubinger, delivered at the memorial. For more on Eva, including pictures from throughout her long life, visit
https://www.caringbridge.org/visit/evagrubinger.
My mother lived for 91 years and two days. Her life was full of transitions, and she met them with bravery, intelligence, determination, and love.
Born in Breslau, Germany, at the age of 9 she moved with her mother and father to Montevideo, Uruguay, to escape the Nazis. She adapted to the loss of her homeland, embracing an entirely new culture, but remaining anchored to the old one especially through her parents.
She became proficient in Spanish and English, winning student awards for writing. She helped her father, known as ‘the old German’ in his bookstore.
At age 18 she was working as a bilingual secretary for the president of an import-export company in Montevideo. At 19 she moved to Middleboro, Mass to live with her uncle Hardy and his family. She soon moved to Boston, where she worked as a secretary for the President of Raleigh Bicycles. A few years later she became Executive Secretary for the export manager at Myerson Tooth Corporation in Cambridge.
She met and married her husband Eric when she was just 23. She continued to work at Myerson until they started a family. She gave birth to me one day after her 27th birthday. Lenore came along 3 years later.
The family moved from an apartment in Brookline to their own home in Waban, a village of Newton, Massachusetts. It was the American dream, or so it seems to me in hindsight. A four-bedroom home with a large yard on a quiet tree-lined street, nice neighbors, a good school that we walked to, two cars, and summer vacations on Cape Cod.
My mom left the workforce for 20 years while she cared for her kids. I remember many homemade family meals, help with homework, birthday parties, and loving care when it was needed, whether due to illness, injury or insult.
But Eva took care of herself, too. She took art classes at the DeCorva Museum, at which she painted, sculpted and threw pots. She took college classes part-time for ten years, eventually earning her Bachelor’s Degree in psychology from the University of Massachusetts in Boston, graduating magna cum laude in 1977.
All this time Eva maintained deep friendships, many of which lasted 60 even 70 years. She kept in regular contact with childhood friends from Montevideo for as long as they lived. And her closest friends from her life in Boston: Lolly, Valle, and RoseAnn, who I hope are on the phone here today, were a tremendous source of mutual love and support for many, many decades.
An abundance of close friends must have helped a great deal when her marriage ended. Difficult as that was, Eva transitioned yet again to become an independent professional woman. She started working in senior services, first as an administrative assistant and then as a program coordinator, at one point overseeing 200 clients receiving in-home services.
She went on to work for Harvard Community Health Plan and then became coordinator of alumni affairs at Harvard Medical School, a position from which she took great satisfaction. She lived for many years in Brookline, Mass., where she was elected Town Meeting representative for her precinct.
Somehow she also found time to be a yoga instructor, and at one point, to serve as a translator in a local court. I don’t remember the details but she told me that didn’t last long because it was too stressful to have the defendants pleading their case directly to her in Spanish. At some point she also worked as a tour guide in the Wonder Bread factory in Natick, Mass. Sometimes my sister and I would visit with her after school, consuming hot-off-the press Ding Dongs, Ho-Hos, and of course, Twinkies.
Once she retired, at the wise urging of my wife Tracey, she moved to Brattleboro when her grandsons Sam and Nick were ages 11 and 8. Transitioning once again, she made this community her home for nearly 16 years. She was active with the Windham Arts Council, the Brattleboro Area Jewish Community, and writing groups. She made new friends while keeping close with her old ones.
Eva loved to travel. She went to London to see plays with a theater tour organized by Marlboro College. She went to Japan with her companion Marot. She went to Hungary to teach English as a volunteer. She went bird watching in Costa Rica.
Eventually her energy waned and she moved into Holton Home where she lived happily for 8 years, enjoying the gardens, participating in Facebook on her computer, and having lunch in town with friends like Howie and Jennifer.
At age 89, with the help of Melissa, she compiled many of her essays into a book titled “My Moveable Life,” capturing her life transitions, intense personal experiences and loving relationships on three continents.
It occurs to me my mother can best be described as a cultured woman. She held the cultural experience of living in three different countries, she was fluent in three languages, and she synthesized this diversity into an understanding of human nature that can only come from being multi-cultural. In addition, she was erudite and creative.
A passionate reader of books, newspaper and magazines, she was a subscriber to the Sunday New York Times and the New Yorker magazine up to the end of her life. She loved movies, foreign and domestic. In short she was remarkably well informed. As a painter, a potter, a teacher, a writer and maybe even a piano player, we’re not sure – she had many talents that enriched her life.
Of course, she found joy in being with her children, grandchildren and close friends. I will always remember her as a loving mother and grandmother, may she rest in peace.
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It has been 3 weeks since Groundworks moved their Seasonal Overflow Shelter clients to the Quality Inn. This was a huge undertaking for all involved and went incredibly smoothly, all things considered. BAJC’s service has been essential in supporting the health of all involved. A good home cooked meal has a lot of power in the world and has been a moment of gratitude everyday in ours. In that spirit, I wanted to share a video with you that was sent to us from Senators Ashe, Balint and White expressing their gratitude for the dedicated work of all at Groundworks Collaborative through this crisis. Know that this message is for you!
Without you, Groundworks could not do the work it does so well.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MxPW1wm2soM&feature=youtu.be
Laura Chapman, Director, Seasonal Overflow Shelter
BAJC is deeply grateful to Saint Rosner who coordinates our Shelter Dinners and to her family of helpers and supporters! Be sure to respond when you get her messages through Sign Up Genius. Every act, large and small, makes a difference.
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In the Time of Covid-19, the BAJC Hebrew School is alive and well! When meeting in person became a public health risk, the school moved to an online format holding Zoom class on its regular schedule. For several weeks, the students gathered all together to share songs and stories and to prepare for Passover. For the remainder of the year, classes will breaking into smaller groups for Hebrew lessons before returning to share our traditional B’Yachad rituals. Mazel Tov to the teachers for their flexibility and newly expanded remote teaching skills!
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YAHRZEITS – BLESSED BE THEIR MEMORIES
Those we love don’t go away. They walk beside us every day, unseen, unheard, but always near, still loved, still missed and very dear.
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