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Couple of things:
1 - I'm not sure how my tone comes across to you, but I'm typically trying for "Midwestern contemplative." It's dry, a bit rambly, mostly pragmatic, and occasionally a bit navel-gazy.
2 - I'm really ok with nuance. I used to think I might run for office of some kind (woof...) but increasingly, my desire to explore the ridges and contours of an issue seem at odds with the (often literal) black-and-white distinctions that are thrust upon us. If I were to run, it would look a lot like Matthew Santos' campaign. Which is to say the only way I'd have a shot at winning is if there was a nuclear meltdown.
I bring up these two points to say this: I'm exhausted, but not for the reasons you might think. I work in an industry that is often demonized until the world seems to depend on its very existence. Within this industry, I try to help folks do what they do, better. It's messy. People are messy. Science is messy. And right now, it's all out in the open. And yet I crave getting to immerse myself in the mess and wade through it with you, with others. (For some of you, maybe that's why you read this. For others, maybe it's why they unsubscribe?) I'm sure you can imagine why I've largely stopped watching the news of late.
I was reading and reflecting on how the anxiety we're all feeling now is part of a collective sense of grief and I think my grief has been more of a slow burn. One component to be sure is the apparent loss of nuance in the media. There used to be more human-interest stories, profiles of folks whose names history won't remember, and time devoted to investigative journalism. Or at least it felt that way. In the midst of global pandemic, folks want "normalcy," in whatever manifestation that takes. What I'm discovering, perhaps more potently than anything else, is that the freedom to explore nuance is itself a special privilege that I had greatly taken for granted.
So I grieve. And I invite you to join me in that grief. Not because it's morbid or some kind of self-flagellation, but because in grief, there is a kind of intimacy that cannot be experienced any other way. The way is through.
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What I'm Reading
Beth Macy
The author travels between Virginia, North Carolina, and Las Vegas trying to retrace what happened to Tess Henry after she was found in a dumpster, murdered. Along the way, you learn a little more about how things aren't always what they seem and how those assumptions, collectively, build a system that actively marginalizes the same folks who could use its help the most.
(And for those of you who are thinking you don't really have the time or energy to invest in a book, it might be helpful to think about this more as a podcast, including audio interviews and background music.)
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Around the Web
Makena Kelly
Quick: What do Alaska, Connecticut, California, Iowa, Kansas, and Rhode Island all have in common? Wow, I can't believe you guessed, "their unemployment systems run on COBOL." That's impressive. (Not a typo and also not from Battlestar Galactica.)
Here's the thing - the programming language COBOL was created in the 1950's and a ridiculous amount of infrastructure has been built using it over the years. But as you can imagine, there (relatively) aren't many folks who still actively program using it. Rhode Island's government employs 3 COBOL programmers. Colorado just 1. And, well, there's been a bit more demand on unemployment systems of late. Maybe you've heard.
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Just for fun
Look, I'll be first in line to advocate that it's healthy to take some breaks and, you know, maybe not look at screens 18 hours/day. But I also found this pretty incredible list of #quarantinegames you can play (just keep scrolling... it's 14 pages long!)
And we'll all pretend like we didn't just have flashbacks to the days of Miniclip, PrimaryGames, and HOURS of flash-based gaming...
(full disclosure here -- I spent over an hour trying to run down who shared this with me because obviously nobody ever just 'finds' things on the Internet. Alas, I was totally unable to figure it out. In the extremely unlikely scenario where it was you, dear reader, please let me know so I can properly attribute)
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