This week, we are focusing on Learning from Mistakes & Repair. As parents, we feel a lot of pressure to do things ‘right’ all the time. That's not possible.  

According to the latest brain science, mistakes are powerful learning cues for adults as well as children. Because of school closures, we are parenting around the clock. In many cases, we’ve stepped into the role of our child’s teacher. We’re wearing so many hats, mistakes are inevitable.

As parents, we may think we shouldn’t apologize to children. We may even have been raised that way – our parents never apologized to us! We might not be accustomed to being vulnerable enough to admit we made a mistake to anyone, let alone our children. It takes courage. But anyone can learn how.

We learn by admitting our mistakes. Doing so models a valuable life skill and builds connection, trust, and confidence. It makes our kids more resilient!

But how do we do it? Owning up to being wrong is more than saying “I’m sorry.” It's committing to do better next time. Here are the four Rs of RECOVERY from a mistake:

• Regather: Before making a repair, it’s important to take time to return to calm. Depending on the mistake, this can take a few minutes. Breathe, walk. (For more ways self-regulate, check out our Self-Regulation Tool Kit cards - https://www.sounddiscipline.org/self-regulation-toolkit-cards/).
   
• Recognize and take Responsibility: Notice that you have made a mistake and take responsibility for it. “I understand that I blew it…I made a mistake.”
   
• Reconcile: Apologize for blowing it. Tell your child that you wish you’d handled the situation differently. “I am sorry. I wish I’d handled that differently.” Be brief; avoid giving explanations.
   
• Resolve (RE-SOLVE): Commit to finding a better solution and to doing it differently next time. “Let’s come up with a solution together. I want to do better next time.”

Check out our website for more mistakes and repair resources in English and Spanish. If you have ideas for us about what would be most helpful to families during this time, please take a moment and fill out this google survey. 

Did you miss the information on our previous themes? Information on self-regulation, family meetings, connection and contribution is all here in English and Spanish.

Check out our Family Meetings video series, including the newest video on Problem Solving.

We love hearing from you. Reach us via Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, YouTube, or email. 

Sending all our best wishes,


Stacy Lappin
Director of Program