A word of Torah:

     The holiness code continues in this week’s Torah portion. In Lev. 19, we saw how creating a caring society rested as much on words as on deeds. We could use words to slander people or to offer helpful rebuke. To a significant extent, we create our world through speech just as God did at the creation of the world.
     Twice in this week’s portion we are enjoined not to wrong one another (Lev. 25:14 and 17). Because the rabbis believed there is no repetition in the Torah, they derive two different meanings from these verses. In the first instance, the context is about selling land, so the verse prohibits fraud in business. The second verse forbids demeaning people verbally. The Talmud saw the latter as one of the worst sins. The rabbis called this ona’at devarim-the oppression of words.
       The Talmud (Bava Metzia 58b) gives a few examples of this idea. In one case, we are instructed not to mislead people by suggesting they can buy grain from a person who has never in his life sold grain. Another example of demeaning a person is when Job’s friends imply that he is somehow responsible for the misfortunes that have befallen him.  The rabbis cite a third instance of “oppression of words” as when we remind someone of past misdeeds even though that person has changed his ways. What all these examples have in common is a desire to hurt someone through the use of speech either by making them look foolish or embarrassing them.
     These examples are more subtle than what we explored last week. Gossip is done behind the back. Reproof is ostensibly for something you have done wrong. Demeaning language may have nothing to do with something you did. It could be about your appearance. One of my ears has stuck out (from birth) and I still remember a classmate who frequently went out of his way to point that out. The people who like to do this are skillful in figuring out just what will make you feel self-conscious. When we are children there is a lot of this emotional bullying.  As we become adults, it often becomes more subtle, but its purpose is the same—to put someone down in order to somehow elevate yourself. It may reflect a sense of inferiority by the speaker, but it doesn’t lessen the effect, which is to tear down a person in their own eyes and the eyes of others who witness the interchange.
     In a comment with contemporary relevance, the Talmud suggests that the worst form of verbal abuse is giving someone a demeaning nickname. Why? Because it is permanently attached to the person. Every time it is used it has the potential to be hurtful. It highlights that defrauding money only hurts a person’s pocket, but that demeaning a person’s being afflicts the soul. The Maharal, (16^th century rabbinic scholar), suggests that the body naturally heals from wounds, but that a person’s psyche can be permanently damaged by such hurts.
     Verbal abuse is a modern form of biblical impurity, spreading the disease of negativity in an attempt to drive people outside the camp of acceptability. Instead of tearing people down, we are urged to build a society of holiness using words to express both our shared imperfections and our hopes.