Changing How You Measure Success During COVID-19
If you’ve spent much time on social media recently, you’ve probably heard about people who are using their isolation time to master ten new hobbies, get in shape with a Navy Seal-worthy exercise routine, or start a successful online business selling masks to the masses. Good for them. But if you’re one of the vast majority of people who are just managing to hang in there, you can absolutely feel good about that too.
The reality is that COVID-19 has changed the way we live our daily lives—and it’s hard. Many of the things we used to rely on others for (such as childcare, education services, meal prep, health and beauty treatments, etc.) are now our responsibility. Keeping up with the changes and staying afloat is more than enough for most of us—and that’s okay. Part of adjusting to this temporary norm is changing how you measure success during COVID-19. In this case, just making it through is success!
Expect Problems
A worldwide pandemic is new to all of us. There are going to be problems while governments, communities, and individuals figure out through trial-and-error what the best way is to deal with the situation. If you expect there will be problems and do your best to handle them as they arise—you are a success!
Go Easy on Yourself
We’re all dealing with COVID-19 the best we can. It’s an emotionally challenging time, which is why it’s so important to be kind to yourself right now. Maybe the kids got more screen time than they should have today. That’s okay. Maybe you didn’t eat as healthy as you wanted to today. That’s okay too. Tomorrow is a fresh start. If you’re doing the best you can and making allowances for yourself when you slip up—you are a success!
Do What You Need to Do
Life is a unique experience for each of us, so only you truly know what you need to do each day. Maybe you need to take some time to pursue a hobby during this time. Maybe for today you just need to get dressed and brush your teeth. If you want to set goals, go for it, but if you don’t, that’s absolutely fine. Don’t feel like you need to accomplish anything beyond the basics. If you’re keeping yourself and your family fed and sheltered—you are a success!
Most of what’s going on is out of our hands, so focus on the aspects of your life that you can control. Take care of yourself and your loved ones. Stay connected with the people who matter most to you. Get plenty of rest, stay active, and eat healthy—to the best of your ability. Wash your hands and maintain proper social distance. If you feel like you have more to give, look for ways you can lift someone else and brighten their day. But be kind to yourself. It's okay to just survive from one day to the next. The big goal during COVID-19 is to simply make it through. And if you’re doing that—you are a success!
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Get to know Marina Parker
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After her internship finishes in June, our own Marina Parker will be moving from our Eugene office to our SE Portland office to continue her career with us. Eugene Therapy and Oregon Counseling has a rich history of supporting the professional development of our staff; many of whom started with us as student interns. We're pleased that both Marina Parker and Anna Gularte will be continuing in that great tradition. |
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Dealing with Loneliness During COVID-19
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If you live alone, obeying the COVID-19 stay-home order can be a lonely thing to do. Craving connection with others is natural, and it’s hard to cope with the feelings of isolation that can come up while you’re in quarantine. However, there are effective ways to deal with loneliness and nurture yourself and your relationships during this time.
Acknowledge your emotions.
It’s okay to feel lonely sometimes. Many people experience these feelings on occasion, even during times when there are no limits on social activities. When you’re not able to visit friends or get out of the house, it’s natural that those feelings might increase. So when you’re lonely, acknowledge it. And if that loneliness leads to other emotions, such as sadness or irritability, recognize that these feelings stem from a common cause, and that it’s perfectly normal to feel that way.
Remind yourself of why you’re staying isolated and that it won’t last forever.
The stay-home order is a temporary measure designed to ensure the safety of you and your loved ones. Reminding yourself of that when things get hard can help you to cope. Realize that you’re doing your part to protect others, and allow yourself to look forward to when you’ll be able to socialize with friends and family again.
Create a routine and include self-care.
Sticking to a routine can give you a feeling of security. It doesn’t have to be a strict schedule, but having things you can count on and look forward to each day can mitigate feelings of loneliness and help you to be happier in your own company. As you plan your routine, make taking care of yourself a priority, and include things that make you happy.
Engage your body.
Staying active and eating healthy may not be top of your list right now, but both can go a long way toward boosting your mood. Exercise and a proper diet can relieve stress, help you to feel energized, and give you a greater feeling of self-esteem. Taking good care of your body enables you to better handle feelings of loneliness and isolation when they arise.
Engage your mind.
Just as important as taking care of your body is making sure that your mind is busy and active. Boredom and loneliness combined can hurt your mental health, so stave off both by regularly engaging your mind in something that interests you. Read, learn something new, take time to delve into an old hobby, and be creative with the ways you spend your time.
Check in with loved ones regularly.
Even though you may be physically separated from the people you care about, you can still stay in touch. Arrange with loved ones to check in with each other on a regular basis. This can give you something to look forward to, help you to nurture your relationships and maintain important connections, and reduce feelings of loneliness or isolation.
Talk to a therapist.
If you’re having a hard time adjusting to the stay-home order, or if you’re regularly experiencing feelings of loneliness and could use some extra support during this time, it might be a good idea to talk to a therapist. Our licensed professionals are offering telehealth services so we can provide help to anyone who needs it, while still adhering to COVID-19 social distancing guidelines. You are not alone in dealing with these challenges. We’re here to help.
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COVID-19 and Relationships
By Marina Parker, CFT Graduate Intern
The Coronavirus pandemic is impacting everyone in the world in vastly different ways, and changing the way that many people live their lives. Especially for people in relationships, the shelter in place laws have created a new dynamic that people are finding themselves confused about how to handle.
At this time, many couples are reporting higher levels of frustration, conflict and distress in their relationships (especially if they are living with their partner). This is completely normal, and makes sense in the context of the pandemic! If external stressors are higher, it makes sense that internal stressors (like relationship conflict) feel more upsetting than perhaps they did before the pandemic.
Here are 5 quick tips when dealing with relationship stress:
1. Take breaks in conflict when you need them.
It can be tempting to spiral in arguments when things get heated. If you’re noticing that you feel really escalated, take a 30-minute break to check in with yourself, breathe, and come back to the discussion when you’re feeling more centered.
2. Tackle one conflict at a time.
Bringing in multiple argument topics can feel confusing and frustrating; by limiting your discussion to one issue at a time you can more completely discuss the issue and get closer to understanding the other person’s viewpoint.
3. Use ‘I’ statements whenever possible.
By owning your own feelings and perspectives, the conversation feels less accusatory and more productive. Using ‘I’ statements helps your partner understand where you’re coming from and how both of you can work together.
4. Express gratitude whenever possible.
Chances are both you and your partner are working a lot harder than before to get things done! Try to make overt expressions of gratitude when you see your partner doing something that you appreciate.
5. Take a moment to talk about what’s going well.
Even in the midst of all the chaos of COVID, it is important to acknowledge the things about your relationship that are going well in spite of everything going on. Take a moment with your partner for each of you to verbally state what is going well in the relationship and the impact it has on you.
This is a challenging time that we are all living in. Be kind to yourself and to your partner, as we are all navigating something unfamiliar. Don’t hesitate to reach out for help when you need it!
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Reducing Zoom Fatigue
If you’ve begun working from home since COVID-19, you’re probably making use of video chat platforms like Zoom, Meet, Skype, or FaceTime to communicate with coworkers, report to your boss, and maybe even meet with clients. Video calls are a great way to maintain professional connections and get your work done during lockdown, but they can be taxing on the brain. Since COVID-19, increasing numbers of people are reporting “Zoom Fatigue”—a feeling of exhaustion, anxiety, or worry associated with too many video calls. Here are a few simple tips to help you combat Zoom fatigue:
Get Up and Move
Sitting still for an extended period of time while you take in information can be exhausting. If your mind starts to wander, ask your boss or coworker if you can stand up and stretch for a minute or two.
Reduce Onscreen Distractions
There’s a lot happening onscreen, especially if you’re on a group call, so try to reduce distractions as much as possible. Turn off notifications, use a neutral background, and try changing your settings so you can’t see your own face on the screen. Reducing onscreen distractions will allow your brain to focus on what it needs to at the time.
Alleviate Eye Strain
While the jury is out about glasses that filter out blue light, some people swear by them. Others find it helpful to use their computer's night shift mode during the day to reduce eye fatigue.
More evidenced-based ideas include using the 20/20/20 rule to alleviate eye strain. Every 20 minutes, look at an object approximately 20 feet away for 20 seconds. In addition, make sure you’re sitting 25 inches or an arm’s length away from the computer screen and tilt it downward to reduce glare. Room lighting is also important; adjusting the lighting so that you’re not staring at a bright screen in a dark room.
Another potential cause of of eyestrain is staring at devices without blinking for long periods of time. Normally, we blink about 15 or more times a minute. You can go down to 7 times pretty easily when you’re staring at your computer screen. So actively blinking more often may be helpful.
Be Choosy
Video calls don’t need to be the default for every communication. Try using them only when needed. Pay attention to how you’re feeling, and if you think you’re experiencing Zoom fatigue, ask if you can call or text someone rather than chatting over video. They may be relieved you asked!
Video calls are a great tool for working from home. Although Zoom fatigue is a reality, by understanding it and following a few basic steps, you can make technology work for you while teleworking during COVID-19.
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Managing Quarantine with Parenting Breaks
You love your kids, but being with them 24/7 while you’re still trying to juggle all your other responsibilities can be a struggle. Everyone needs some downtime, and one of the keys to maintaining your composure during quarantine is to take parenting breaks. Here are a few ideas that will help you get some time to yourself—even when you’re home with kids during quarantine.
Make a haven.
Create a space where you can be alone and have some quiet time to yourself. You don’t need a home office or special room. A walk to the park or a soak in the tub can both serve to give you some needed time on your own.
Take turns with your partner or an older child.
If you have a partner or if one of your children is older and responsible enough to look after their younger siblings for a while, schedule in time for them to take a turn entertaining the little ones.
Use the outdoors.
Sometimes just getting out of the house can help everyone work off some energy and feel less trapped in quarantine. Even though most playgrounds are off limits, you can still have fun on a nature walk or just playing in the backyard.
Virtual play dates.
Since kids can’t get together with friends, arranging a virtual “play date” can be a fun way for them to reconnect with their buddies. Online games, sing-alongs, and charades are all fun activities your children can do with friends over the internet.
Quiet time.
You may find it helpful to establish “quiet time” each day. This can be anywhere from a few minutes to an hour. Set your child up with a quiet activity like drawing, reading, building a puzzle, or playing with Legos, and then set the timer. Make it clear that they need to entertain themselves until the timer goes off.
Take time when the kids are in bed.
Parenting is a full-time job, especially with younger kids. If you can’t find time to yourself during the day, take an hour in the evening after the kids are in bed (or, if you’re a morning person, get up a bit earlier before they wake up) to relax and do something you enjoy.
Parenting during quarantine is tough, but you can do it successfully if you take breaks when you need them and make it a priority to look after yourself as well as your family.
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Video Telehealth Appointments Available
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