Hey Reflector,
I hope you are well this week.
My question today is 'are you Intentional?'
Whilst you ponder what I mean by that, in Nir Eyal's book Indistractable, he makes the distinction between Traction and Distraction. He defines them as follows:
Distraction is 'Actions that move us away from what we really want'
Traction is 'Actions that move us towards what we really want'.
Traction can be seen as intentional whilst distraction is not.
If you're like many of us, it's easy to find yourself scrolling through Instagram, Facebook or YouTube, or 'falling into' binge-watching the latest TV series–especially in lockdown.
Interestingly, I overheard two friends in the park the other week saying they were bored since they'd 'completed' Netflix. Is that even possible!?
However, regardless of the task, from the above definitions, if you don't know what you really want, how can doing any of those actions be considered 'distraction?'
So the key question then is 'do you know what you really want?'
If you're unclear, for a quick idea (as there's a lot more to it than this), try asking yourself these two questions:
On my death bed...
what will I regret not having done more of? or
what will I be most thankful for having done?
The reality is for the vast majority of us–and surveys bear this out–that we won't be saying we wish we spent more time on Netflix or Facebook or Instagram. We'll be more likely saying:
'If only I spent more time pursuing my dreams and aspirations'
'If only I'd made more time for my friends and family'
'If only I'd taken the risk and got that business going'
Sleep is overrated
Let's look at how this plays out. I recently got into the sci-fi series Westworld–and binge watched several episodes. But after watching it I would always feel like I'd wasted time. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed it–it's a good series (though I feel the writer's got a bit bored in Season 2...). However, it wasn't helping me achieve any of my life goals, which are more to do with 'challenging and inspiring people to transform their lives through changing their thinking'. It was a true distraction.
But despite this, come the end of each episode, when it hit that epic cliff hanger I couldn't help but want to know what happened next. So, well, you know. I caved in. It's like the decision was made for me automatically–which is exactly what the auto-play next episode–feature does, and before long another few hours had past.
By the way, if you find yourself doing the same thing don't be too hard on yourself. The streaming companies know exactly what they're doing. Like the auto-play feature, their systems are not designed by accident. They are using a variety of proven behavioural techniques, playing with our brains, to keep us watching.
In fact, Reed Hastings–CEO of Netflix is famous for saying that sleep is their competition not Amazon or Hulu. Seriously. Thus his company is built around getting as many eyeballs on the screen, for as much time as humanly possible, regardless of the impact on your health from lack of sleep. The more we watch, the more money they make. Like I say, they know what they're doing.
From Distraction to Traction
So back to my Westworld vice. I now watch it Intentionally (well I did before the season finished). I put boundaries around it to help stave off temptation. I decided that a Monday evening at 8pm after dinner, would be my treat to watch one episode of the show, and I would plan things in after it (such as calling friend's or family) so I couldn't go on watching it endlessly.
You know what? I felt so much better after watching it this way as I'd chosen to do it. I didn't feel guilt or that I was wasting time. It was intentional.
Those of use who see ourselves as creatives can really struggle with this concept. We can often have this myth that anything truly creative and worthwhile only comes through spontaneity. Planning is too restrictive and you just need to 'go with the flow'. But like I said this is a myth and one I'll cover in another newsletter.
But for now, I'll leave you with these three actionable questions.
1) What is it that you keep 'falling into' doing instead of choosing to do?
2) If you'd still choose to do it, what boundaries can you place around it to stop it being endless?
3) What would you do with the time you've now gained?
I'd love to know how you get on. Just hit reply and let me know.
Finally, this lockdown time is a great opportunity to assess where you are on your life goals and discover what changes you need to make to achieve them. I love helping people get clarity and navigate through this. So if that feel's like you Reflector, book yourself a free 30min enquiry call.
Until next time.
Keep reflecting your potential
Richard
Ps. Here's that link again: Visit https://claritycoach.net/booking select a date and time for your FREE 30min enquiry call. I'd love to help you power through the pandemic and embrace your future.
Pps. I've updated my recently neglected book list so feel free to peruse here.
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