I hate survival of the fittest. I’ve always hated it. I remember being a little kid in science class and listening to the teacher explain what it was. She told us only the strong survive. “That’s not fair!” I thought. No, 12-year-old self, it sure isn’t. We’ve all seen it play out in our backyard bird’s nests, our classrooms, our workplaces. Right now, as we try to climb out of the wreckage of COVID-19, I fear this basic theory will play out again in our health, our finances, our employment, and our relationships.

We have had to dig to find survival strength in more ways than I can count. For me, I’m having trouble with patience right now. I remember some years ago, we took a family trip and during a big storm, our plane was diverted to a different airport. It turned into a five-hour odyssey of being stuck on the runway with a full plane of cranky people, no food or water and backed up bathrooms. My then 8-year-old daughter had been so good through the whole thing but by the end of hour four, she casually packed up her little carry-on, her stuffed animals and her sweater. She stood up and said, “I’m done. I don’t want to do this anymore,” and she headed down the aisle of the plane. Yeah, that’s me now. I am so done. Course, the circumstances aren’t done with me. So I'm digging. I’m digging to understand the depth and volatility of what I'm feeling because if I don’t, I’m going to be buried, I just know it. But I also know that I can’t just act on my feelings without thinking, like my daughter did.

I have to be the one in charge of the cyclone inside. How? By trying to understand, process and be calm. By trying to tolerate this discomfort, this uncertainty, this sadness. This survival plan is going to take intention and focus and tolerance so that we are fit to go forward in a world that’s scary as hell. But I think the first step starts with looking inward and finding the tools. We came up with a process that has been so helpful to us. We hope it will be for you too.