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Oh hello there,
I'll open with a reminder that I like you. I hope you've spent your days being kind to yourself, but if you haven't, that's ok. You're doing the best you can. We all are.
I've been drawing a lot, baking (of course), and talking a lot about my feelings in 10 minute bursts on my Patreon Podcast (and also about wedding photography. It's really supposed to be a wedding photography podcast). In these little updates, I've been discussing trying to be kinder to myself while living in a home with an over-functioner. As an under-functioner, (who unfortunately finds a lot of self-worth in productivity), the stress of being inside and watching someone thrive under pressure, while I try my best to not cry over loaves of bread that collapse in the oven, has been a really interesting test of self compassion. Self-compassion is kind of the opposite of self-esteem; it's the act of being kind to yourself instead of thinking you have good qualities.
So I make myself a daily pot of tea, fix a small snack to enjoy with it, and I end every day by doing nightly gratitude, saying one thing I can feel thankful for. Really feel it.
Today, I am thankful for memories. The sounds of cafes. The smell of a coffee shop. And I'm grateful life has made me want to savor those things when they're able to come back into our lives.
An entry, from the journal on memories:
The past has a shimmer to it. A veneer I can’t help but see. I remember my small hometown being warm and fluffy with trees. Sunsets were always turning the skies bright yellow, with swirls of orange. I felt special in the arms of people I don't know now. I was always just comfortably uncomfortable.
Sometimes, at night, I miss the smell of the trailer park. The thick fog, fragrant with mushrooms and wet cement. I miss not feeling below other people. All of us were covered in dirt with scabbed knees, wearing thrifted clothes and hand me downs.
I remember how small businesses, like Husky's ice cream or Sneed's Vacuum and Sewing center, all had cracked cement parking lots and were all butted up the hillsides full of lush vegetation. How road trips felt like driving through tunnels as the tree lined streets had branches that arched over you, so heavy with leaves. I remember the cadence of the songs that warbled over cassette tape CD player attachments. I remember windows down on hot air nights.
And me, just comfortably uncomfortable, but full of untapped resilience I didn’t know was already inside me
I hope you are happy, and if not happy, at least content.
xoxo
Nessa
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THINGS I'VE FOUND AROUND THE INTERNET
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FOR COFFEE (SHOP) LOVERS
I can't imagine anyone who hasn't seen this fluffy coffee sensation around on the internet, but Dalgona Coffee is everywhere. What you aren't being told, however, is that there's an app that's specifically created for working to the sounds off coffee shops called "Coffitivity" that will complete your coffee-in-a-coffee-shop-at-home experience.
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FOR PHOTOGRAPHERS
One thing I've been trying to do during quarantine is give back as much as I'm able to the wedding community that does so much to build me up, and since weddings aren't happening for us right now, I've been making some of the videos I make for Patreon available so we can keep conversations about photography going (and maybe learn something while we're at it)
This video is about shooting a session in a small space and choosing images from that session AND it's free to watch for the next three days.
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FOR THE WRITTEN WORD
I love stationary, so all of the goods on Present & Correct send my heart aflutter.
If you find yourself getting into the groove and want more people to send letters to, I found an organization called "Letters of Love" where you can volunteer to send letters to seniors in homes! I love this idea especially because nursing homes aren't able to have visitors now.
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FOR LOVE OF COZINESS
Being holed up inside has made me create even more small vignettes in my house than usual. I want a book corner. I want a place to stretch. At least three times a year, I'm looking for something online and the answer ends up being "Hygge."
Hygge is a Danish and Norwegian word for a mood of coziness and comfortable conviviality with feelings of wellness and contentment. And while a lot of it's focused on cozy winter life, this article is all about Hygge for summer.
This was a huge trend a few years ago which means there's tons of content about how to stay cozy. I've been burning a lot of candles, renovating a small shed to be a minimalist workspace, and embracing my tea-rituals even more during quarantine.
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FOR YOUR EARS
Podcasts are my only friends now. Only a slight exaggeration, but if you've ever seen "The Big Sick" you're already familiar with Emily & Kumail. Emily has a immune disorder that means lockdown for her started a bit earlier... AND she was previously a child psychologist.
So, their podcast has been amazing to find. They talk openly about being in a relationship and how they structure their days to maintain work/life balance.
10/10, would recommend to any couples working at home at the same time, for the first time.
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