My husband and I have four Black sons and a Black daughter...
My children are a constant blessing, and today I live in constant fear.
My kids, who range in age from 15 to 26, read the headlines and watch television. Many of the things they read and see are triggering for them. My husband and I work very hard to keep life as normal as possible for them. One way we keep from drowning in debilitating fear is to spend time together - talking, cooking, eating, playing games, and laughing. Early last week, my 15-year-old and I prepared Asian fusion for dinner. I cooked pad Thai and he prepared nabiyaki with udon noodles. A few days later, he saw the headline about George Floyd’s murder on Instagram. We sat down to discuss it.
In our home we have deep conversations about racism. We have explained to our children that being Black in America should not be a burden for them or any Black person to bear.
It is the burden of White people to stop being racist.
Do you believe that you are not racist? Racism lives in the offices of our politicians, our police stations, churches even, our institutions, some homes, neighborhoods, and communities. This racism gave birth to this country in the form of slavery and native genocide. It has grown, aged, and is kept alive by those who refuse to help slay it. The truth is, racism is an entity created by thoughts, ideals, morals, and philosophies.
Think about this: silence is racism. Apathy and acceptance are racism. Hatred based on skin tone is racism. All white people who claim to be anti-racist need to tell their friends, neighbors, book clubs, church guilds, mail persons, hair stylists, barbers, chefs, maids, colleagues, bosses, and significant others: stop being racist! Stop supporting policies in your community that keep Black people down. Stop voting for candidates who are racist or those who don’t work for equity in your community. And don’t just proclaim your beliefs on social media, where you probably have like-minded followers. Dare to confront people whose feelings will be hurt, people who will be offended. Piss people off until they begin to listen and understand.
We can no longer accept hate, callousness, excessive force, and the utter disregard for Black lives. What happened to Breonna Taylor, Ahmaud Arbery, George Floyd, Christian Cooper, and countless others should leave every American incensed. We cannot let these atrocities become normal, but sadly, it seems as if they have. America is caught in a dreadful cycle of hate, revenge, and fear.
During the civil rights movement, Dr. King and others fought for equality. In today’s movement, we fight for racial equity. At its core, racial equity is defined by fairness, and a systemic leveling of the playing field. Racial equity can only be achieved if those who benefit from the status quo (mainly White people) demand justice for all, including Black people. And my Black boys want to know: who will do that?
Five years ago I walked away from corporate America after the senseless killing of Michael Brown, Jr. to do my part. Because we live in North St. Louis County, I decided to form A Red Circle, whose mission statement is: “The holistic betterment of our community; reversing the effects of racism one person and cause at a time.” At A Red Circle, we fight against racism every day, with every action. We usually do not respond to individual racist actions. However, the events of the past few weeks have been so egregious that they demand our public denouncement. Our slogan, "because all blood is red,” means that we are all equally human. The value of our lives, Black lives, should equal that of others.
In my family we will continue to empower and uplift each other and our community, help each other heal, and keep each other safe. But we can't do this alone and, we shouldn't have to. Racism should not be our problem to fix because we didn't cause it.
Today we are all wearing masks to protect others. I am calling upon all White people to remove your masks of politeness, of conciliation, of fear of speaking out or offending, of comfort with the status quo. Only by removing those masks can you protect the lives of young Black people, like my sons and daughter.
