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Hello Master <<First Name>>,
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“But how am I going to improve and grow -
if I accept myself as I am??
How anything is going to change
if I’m fine with ‘it is what it is’?!”
Since the subject of this email has come up, a week ago,
so many of the conversations and the processes
have turned out to be just about acceptance,
composing the message, paragraph after paragraph.
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It seems like the new reality brings up a global new confrontation –
this time, with all the long term issues
we’ve never wanted to acknowledge,
so, instead, we denied and ignored.
How about you, do you feel it too?
Inner freedom,
here we come again (-:
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Heal Your Reality - Inner Freedom Step-by-Step
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Every disharmony carries a gap.
that’s why the flow doesn’t feel smooth.
Gap which is made of – can you guess?
- It’s always the same…
Right, expectations.
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To better understand it, let’s go back to childhood.
Then and there, we learned 2 important rules:
- Things should happen in a certain way - dictated by external decision makers and structures.
- If things don’t happen as expected - it will probably result in a punishment or any other form of suffering.
When the reality was different from the ‘should have been’ ideal,
a gap was being created,
containing the potential for us to end up having get hurt.
So, this gap is a scary thing!
Therefore, it would immediately wake up the fear driven protective system,
commanded by the ego,
to ensure survival through preventing punishment and suffering.
It didn't take long before the brain trained itself into quickly:
1. Estimate the situation
2. Find out if it meets the ordered standards
If not –
- Mark as a gap
- Switch to a high emergency mode
- Highlight the potential suffering to create a forceful motivation to act
- Attach stress to initiate and ensure a rapid strong reaction
- Act to prevent the worst case scenario.
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Since we are speaking about a survival mode,
the reaction activated by the stress
and motivated by the potential suffering,
will usually take the form of one of three directions,
and will be aimed towards ourself or towards others:
Fight – Correct and fix the gap:
E.g control, judgement, criticism, anger, competition, irritation.
And if it doesn’t work: Envy, frustration, resentment.
Flight – Distance yourself from the suffering:
E.g distractions, addictions, sleep, hiding.
Freeze – Stop immediately the risky action and avoid creating more damage:
E.g paralysis, numbness, confusion, scatter, anxiety, overwhelm.
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Back to grown ups,
we now have our own goals, values, trues to fulfill.
Out of an old habit
and unawareness of the alternative options,
we just use the same old system.
The problem is,
that even when it works,
the stress still causes significant exhaustion and draining.
We invest a lot of energy in fighting with reality,
and we realize over and over
that that which is being fought against,
tends to fights back.
Sticking with this familiar routine,
we actually constantly live and act in an imaginary future,
battle illusionary predicted dragons.
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Acceptance,
abolishes the gap between reality and the ideal.
And with the collapsing gap,
are dropped all the stories, expectations, assumptions, projections,
all the fear of the unknown,
the rushing stress and the terrifying anxiety.
All the mind-creatures that filled up the gap
and made it feel real.
All that noisy chaos.
And only silence is left.
And certainty,
here and now.
This very moment.
Then, we can take a deep breath
and act on our passions, wants and values
from calmness and clarity.
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Stress works with the gap,
acceptance is the agreement to stay present, total,
to see and work with reality.
It is the willing to give up on drama, victimhood, cozy comfortable smallness,
and take responsibility
and real focused, impacting, inspiring action.
It is he delight of generously, compassionately and cheerfully
caring and doing for myself and for others.
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A gap becomes scary when there is no inner Why,
no vision, no plan –
the path is not clear,
and the gap feels unbridgeable and uncrossable.
In acceptance,
there is brightness.
This is the sphere of the soul,
connected to the inner abundant paradise.
It has a sustainable Why, a vision, a purpose.
This is a free headspace, allowing for attentive examination and thinking,
for gaining mundane and divine information,
for getting assistance, figuring out a plan.
Then, through a peaceful focus
and grounded engagement and commitment,
effortlessly and enjoyably we can play that plan out,
see what happens,
correct, and proceed.
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Keep taking a good care,
Sending love and health,
See you,
Inbal
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