Edition 12 - June 2020
- Celebrating the UN's Global Day of Parents 2020
- "When we support parents and when we think about their role, their children are safer and supported."
- Shared Strength Virtual Forum recording
- Allies here and in the USA impressed
- Australia’s Parenting Resource Centre asks: "Why has it taken us so long to listen to you?"
- Appreciate all parents throughout the world
- Family Inclusion - in Queensland and Australia-wide
- Knee-jerk policy decision? Or good idea?
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Celebrating the UN’s Global Day of Parents 2020
Shared Strength – there has never been more cause to celebrate parents than in 2020. So on 4th June, instead of our annual face-to-face gathering, we streamed. A panel of five presented their shared strength, insight, creativity, and humour about how parents are changing practice in Queensland.
Hosted by Jo (Member, Resound Voices of Experience) the panel of parent-advocates were Sloane, Lila, and Leah (all Members of the Queensland Parent Advisory Committee). They were joined in person by Kylie (Executive Director, Child and Family Practice) - and by Minister Di Farmer and Child Safety's Director-General, Diedre Mulkerin (via a pre-recorded message).
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Tech glitches – sorry!
Oh dear ☹. We started late, and there were a few tech glitches in the beginning damnit!
We got there in the end: and it was great! If you missed it: give it a watch now. The YouTube link's further down. *blush*
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Taking that first step to ask for help is hard
When asked "Do you think there is an image of a parent trying to engage with support services? Does that differ from being a parent on the committee?" Leah said,
"I think there’s a difference being on a committee… it gives you a safe space amongst others to share what needs to be different. I think, coming out of what we’re coming out of [COVID19], that no one’s seen before – it’s very important to just be kind. That it spans across all Departments and people alike – just remember that every situation is individual and taking that first step to ask for help is quite hard."
Leah spoke via Zoom from Townsville. (In addition to being a parent and a member of QPAC, Leah is also a member of FIN Townsville. Big shout out to FIN Townsville - if you're from NQ or FNQ, read how to contact them in our article further down. QPAC, so far, also has members from Mt Isa, Chinchilla and Toowoomba).
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"When we support parents and when we think about their role, their children are safer and supported."
Twelve-months ago, on the 1st of June 2019, Minister Farmer and a senior departmental representative, walked into a room of 9 parents with the intention of both listening to their experiences but also considering their proposals for change. One of these proposals was for an on-going formal committee of parents with an experience in the child protection system. The Minister and the Department agreed to this: and so the Queensland Parent Advisory Committee (QPAC) was formed.
A year later, Kylie Phipps, on behalf of Minister Farmer, joined parents at the 2020 Global Day of Parents event to speak about last year's meeting and the ongoing work they have done together.
"We were profoundly impacted. I don’t think you can participate and hear so directly from parents and walk away not changed."
Kylie shared some of the tangible differences within the Department since meeting and working with the QPAC.
"The role of parents were highlighted in our strategic plan. Previously we had talked about families, but to say 'No', the parent role is really unique and specific and it needs to be named.
It seems like a small thing but it's so fundamental. The change in the way we use language. And the inclusiveness of language. To use language to create space and honour the role of parents, and to seek their views on what we do - this impacts. To see - when we support parents and when we think about their role, their children are safer and supported.
So it’s hard to describe it – it's only new but it's a profound shift in the way we think about parents and the influence they can have on the system – it's just phenomenal and I’m really excited."
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Asked - What does being a parent mean to you? Lila shared..
"Being a parent to me is extremely rewarding… it's been challenging at times. It’s provided me with my biggest accomplishments and biggest heartbreaks."
Minister Farmer confirmed Lila's comment in her recorded message when she said:
"I remember someone told me – being a parent is like wearing your heart outside your body. It has the capacity to make you the happiest you could ever be… but it has the capacity to break your heart as well because you care so much about what happens to your kids."
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The QPAC believes that parents should be part of discussions which shape policies that effect families. The UN's Global Day of Parents also emphasises "family friendly" policies and practices this year. We asked parents their thoughts. To which Sloane said,
"Being Indigenous, when you mention policy, it comes back to a dark history."
"You're talking to parents, talking to actual human beings, you're actually talking to people who have had experiences. Cause there's no manual to be a parent. You actually need to walk with them on a daily basis."
Parents shared their unique experiences during self isolation and the COVID-19 juggle. They were asked what should or shouldn't come back as life readjusts to the new normal.
"The whole thing of ‘we’re all in this together’ it should be like that regardless of an epidemic. We ARE all in this together. We need to keep that sense of community especially amongst other parents. It's really important because we often have different struggles at times and when you offer support - it's not acknowledging someone's weakness or vulnerability.
Being vulnerable isn’t a weak thing, reaching out for help – that’s really commendable... Rather then struggling and falling below that line, so keeping that connection... social distancing is only a spacial thing… we really need to be still keeping those engagements and connections. Talking to people and asking for help. I think that’s been a really big part of this COVID-19."
Overall, parents felt that families are better supported when they are better connected. Lila responded to a question asking if parents can support other parents better than systems.
"I think that it really needs to be a combined effort. You can’t have policies in place that are going to work to their full capacity, when we have societies and communities that are disconnected from each other."
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“Shared Strength – there has never been more cause to celebrate parents than in 2020” Hear how the shared strength, insight, creativity, and humour of parents is changing practice in Queensland.
- Jo (Panel Host) – Member, Resound Voices of Experience
- Sloane – Member, Queensland Parent Advisory Committee
- Lila – Member, Queensland Parent Advisory Committee
- Kylie – Executive Director, Child and Family Practice, Department Child Safety, Youth and Women
- Leah – Member, Queensland Parent Advisory Committee
With a video message from The Hon Di Farmer, MP, Minister for Child Safety, Youth and Women and Minister for the Prevention of Domestic and Family Violence, with Deidre Mulkerin, Director-General, Department of Child Safety, Youth and Women.
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Allies here & in the USA impressed
After we ironed out the gremlins, the panel were able to shine like the stars they are. Here's some feedback:
- "It takes great courage to stand up in front of strangers and bare your rawness, like the three speakers did. They should commended for their amazing contribution. Such an empowering session."
- "Was amazing!! So much useful information and advice."
- "I would like to see panels like this delve deeper into the topics mentioned. Including examples, how they are currently or historically have been handled, how they could ideally be handled moving forward" (perspectives from both Dept of CSYW and the QPAC).
- "Everyone on the panel did a fantastic job under the circumstances we are experiencing and there were some very powerful points made by all panel parents as well as Minister Farmer and Kylie Phipps. I do feel we as viewers and parents [could have] had an opportunity to ask questions though but do understand there was a set time and didn’t/couldn’t allow for this to happen this year."
- "I’m on the video forum now. So glad you have moved this agenda so far forward in the past year. I have such fond memories being with you and Micah last year at exactly this time. Warmest regards and congratulations to you and Micah." (David Tobis, Ph.D., International Parent Advocacy Network (IPAN) U.S. Office: Oakland, CA)
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Australia’s Parenting Resource Centre asks: "Why has it taken us so long to listen to you?"
"Great forum today… thanks so much for putting it on…
To Sloane, Lila and Leah, thank you for sharing so much of your wisdom and your insights into what is important, particularly during the pandemic.
We know from the evidence that children thrive when their parents are supported and your passionate calls for parents to come forward when they need some help were so much more powerful, because they were coming from you, with your experience of the system. The information you shared about the need for compassion (including self-compassion); the importance of peers and of community especially when combined with strong, effective services was also very powerful.
That evidence-based approaches are only as good as whether they fit with a parent’s own values and preferences was clearly articulated by Lila. It’s no good having a program to hand if it’s just not going to suit that individual parent.
Leah, what you said about dialling down the judgment was very powerful too. The stigma, blame and judgy-ness comes through incredibly strongly in our research and how we use language as professionals needs to change.
I really appreciated Sloane’s contribution and it was so important to have a dad on the panel. I was really affected by what you said about the need for a vision and for thinking down the track to the impact parenting and advocating for parents will have on generations of children to come….
Why has it taken us so long to listen to you? I hope other states can follow your lead and take it to the top in the way you have with the Minister and DG….
PS – Jo was also a great facilitator."
Kind regards, Annette Michaux, Director Policy & Practice, Parenting Research Centre www.parentingrc.org.au
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Appreciate all parents throughout the world
Designated by the United Nations' General Assembly in 2012, Global Day of Parents provides an opportunity to appreciate all parents for their "selfless commitment to children and their lifelong sacrifice towards nurturing this relationship".
Emphasising the critical role of parents in the rearing of children, the Global Day of Parents recognises that the family has the primary responsibility for the nurturing and protection of children. For the full and harmonious development of their personality, children should grow up in a family environment and in an atmosphere of happiness, love and understanding.
Global Day of Parents is a truly global movement. So we've been reflecting on the saying 'think globally and act locally'.
Movements to build human rights and social justice - whether they are local or global - offer us hope. Hope that we will learn lessons, hope that we will meet allies to walk alongside, and hope that change can be created - by individuals, by families, by systems, by communities and by nations. (Speaking of HOPE ... We take this moment to acknowledge and encourage the worldwide discussion, protests and outrage against systemic racism and systemic abuse and intolerance).
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Family Inclusion - in Queensland and Australia-wide
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The Family Inclusion Network SEQ (FIN SEQ) is always looking for parent members. If you would like to be connected please email us on info@finseq.org.au or call us on 07 3013 6030.
If you are located in North Queensland and Far North Queensland - The Family Inclusion Network Townsville (FIN TSV) is your closest service. FIN TSV does not accept funding from the Department of Child Safety and works with parents on an individual basis. FIN TSV works independantly from FIN SEQ. You can contact them on 0402 254 984 or finqldtsv@gmail.com.
FIN SEQ belongs to the Australia-wide organisation - Family Inclusion Network Australia (FINA). Family Inclusion Strategies in the Hunter Region is another organisation which makes up FINA and supports parents in the Hunter Valley and Central Coast areas of New South Wales.
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Keep your eyes peeled for our next edition!
Read pearls direct from the panelists and reflections from parents.
To sign up and receive this monthly eNews subscribe here.
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Knee-jerk policy decision? Or good idea?
We just had to mention this one. More on our facebook page:
Over the last week, another two reports have been published about the tragic death of Mason Jet Lee in 2016. *we bow in silence to honour Mason, as well as the other young lives lost because we as a community failed*
One recommendation has sparked the most debate. It’s around adoption. The conversation is being had on PeakCare’s blog. Read what they and others say and please contribute if you are able. Here is comment from another organisation, The Benevolent Society. We will add more statements from others as we see them.
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We hold morning teas with parents to share their experiences with other parents who have walked along the same path.
Contact us to find out the next morning tea date!
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