A Letter from Father Bill W.

The Big Book promises, “We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.” Meditating on this the other day, I was struck suddenly by the word “NEW.” The kind of freedom we’re promised in recovery may not be the kind of freedom we’re likely to ask for, but it’s the kind that comes, if and as, we’re finally set free from the deeper “bondage of self.” 
 

That same day I read a parable told by Nikos Kazantzakis in his bio of St. Francis.  It helped me understand the real depth of that bondage and I hope it helps you as well. He writes:
 

     “Once there was an ascetic who struggled his whole life to reach perfection. He distributed all his goods to the poor, withdrew into the desert, and prayed to God night and day. Finally, the day came when he died. He ascended to heaven and knocked on the gates. ‘Who is there?’ came a voice from within.

    “’It’s me!’ answered the ascetic.

    “’There isn’t room for two here,’ said the voice. ‘Go away!’   

    “The ascetic plummeted down to earth and resumed his struggle to attain salvation even more forcefully than before. When he was old, a centenarian, he died and knocked once again on the gates of heaven. ‘Who’s there?’ came the voice.

    “’Thou, Lord, thou!’

    “And straightway the gates of heaven opened, and he entered.”

Through Two Way Prayer I’ve been listening to, and gently being whittled down by, that same inner Voice. When I prayed about the parable I heard, “… spiritual gymnastics will never storm our gates. Only humility unlocks the door. The ‘you’ must become so small, so transparent, that only I shine through…. Find the eyes of a child and not a saint.”

Yours in Recovery,
                -Fr. Bill W.