One way to make the world a better and more accepting place is to raise racially aware children. But when should you start? What about when your children are very young? Is it possible or advisable to introduce the concept of race to toddlers and pre-schoolers?

The answer is yes, it’s both possible and advisable. And there are many ways to do it. Here are some ideas and tools you can use to raise your racially aware child from a young age.
 

Words

​As with many other aspects of modern child rearing, parents are sometimes nervous about teaching their kids about ​race​ and may tend to avoid the conversation altogether. ​Just as we point out blue skies and red fire engines, it's important that we 'name what we see'. When parents are silent, kids tend to make up their own stories about what's missing. It's helpful for kids if parents describe the actual color of a person's complexion and then explain how those shades are most often categorized by society into 'white' and 'black'.

Lori Taliaferro Riddick and Sachi Feris from the site Raising Race-Conscious Children say, "Parents often ask which words they should use to describe skin tones. We advocate for using both types of words — actual skin tones (like “brown” or “peach”) is more descriptive and more accurate to what we actually see; but I use the words “white” and “black” even though it is a social construct just to break it down for my children. If I don’t use those words, it’s harder to talk in a larger way about race in our society."  That lays the groundwork to talk about race in a more substantial way down the road and helps kids build the vocabulary they need to talk about race and diversity, as an open and healthy topic.

Books

Choose books by authors of different races so that children learn from other perspectives. Balance books that simply tell a story with a diverse cast of characters, such as those by Ezra Jack Keats, with books that focus on race and culture. This exposes children to the idea that other cultures and races exist and have value, and that people can do the same things regardless of their skin color. Here are some children's books with characters of color: 

• The Bot That Scott Built
• Big Red Lollipop
• Tía Isa Want a Car
• Lizard from the Park
• Ada Twist, Scientist
• One Family
• Juna’s Jar
• Little You

And here are two wonderful books that explicitly talk about race:

• Let's Talk About Race
• The Color of Us

Movies

Media portrayals are often stereotyped, so be aware and point out those flaws to your children. Sometimes we feel nostalgic and want to introduce shows from our childhood to our kids. Doing so can be a lot of fun and build a sense of connection. It can also provide a great opportunity to point out any flawed portrayals that you observe while still allowing you to watch together. In addition, look for ways to choose movies that portray characters in counter-stereotypical roles. The goal is for your children to understand that people are individuals, with unique personalities, desires, and should be free to each make their own choices.
 

Toys

Introduce racial diversity through everyday playthings. If your child plays with dolls, consider including in the toy box dolls with different skin colors. When you color with your child, use shades of peach and brown to color in the people. These things convey that different skin colors are perfectly normal. People Colors Crayons is a great crayon set that allows kids to represent themselves and others in their artwork in a way that traditional crayon color schemes do not.
 

Culture

Learn about other cultures and celebrate them with your children. Cook different ethnic foods, try a traditional craft or game, or learn a song from another culture. Also let children know about things that are part of your own cultural heritage. Not everyone celebrates the same holidays, eats the same food, or has the same traditions, but each culture is special in its own way.
 

Friends

Help your children develop a diverse group of friends. If you live in a less diverse neighborhood, consider joining a more racially diverse play group, religious congregation, or kids’ sports team. As children develop relationships with people of different racial and cultural backgrounds, they are more able to appreciate people as individuals, instead of categorizing or stereotyping them. 

Teaching children about race is something they will appreciate and is an opportunity to forge deep, authentic connection. By teaching your children about race and diversity from a young age, you can prepare them to tackle difficult topics as they get older, be accepting and inclusive of others, and develop a sense of cultural pride in their own unique heritage. 

Finally, here is a great blog with a list of 5 books to teach your kids kindness. The world can never have enough empathy and understanding. Here's to all of us doing our part!

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Teens

For many teens, COVID-19 has taken away a good chunk of their school year, socializing with friends, and attending events like prom, graduation, or sports games. Now that summer is here and social distancing measures are still in place, this can be an especially tough time for teens. But by making time for a few basics you can help your older child to make the most of their summer despite the difficulties.

Make time for Healthy Habits

It’s tempting for teens to stay up late and sleep away most of the day, but this isn’t healthy for either their physical or emotional health. Although you can be more flexible in the summertime, encourage your teen to go to bed and get up at a regular time each day.

Chores

Developing a work ethic may not always be popular with teens, but it’s important for them to take responsibility and contribute where they can. Assign them some regular chores, and, if possible, collaborate with them on establishing a reward system that is meaningful to them for completing their assignments.

Friends

Teens need time with friends. While it can sometimes seem that they spend too much time with their peers, it’s important, especially during social distancing, for teens to feel connected. If you’re in a position to do so, allow your child’s friends to come over for socially distant activities, and allow your teenager a reasonable amount of time to connect with their peers electronically.

Family

It’s also important for teens to spend time with family. Plan meals they like and activities they enjoy to make family time more appealing to them, and set aside time to be with them one-on-one. Spending time together can strengthen your relationship and allow you to continue teaching your teenager important lessons and values as they prepare for adulthood.
 

Work

Summer jobs may be hard to find, but they are out there, and are a great way for teens to keep busy and earn some money for spending or saving. Job searching can be intimidating, so let them know about places that are hiring, help them fill out the paperwork, and be supportive in encouraging them to find work.
 

Fun

Of course, no summer vacation is complete without time to play, relax, and have fun. Make sure that your teen is rewarded with leisure time to do things they enjoy so that summer feels like a vacation—even if it’s not quite the one they had in mind.
 

And remember

Teens exist in an emotional world that fluctuates between desiring autonomy but wanting to know they can fall back on you when needed. Be prepared to parent a teen with collaboration and respect in mind for these two distinct parts (autonomy and dependence).

 

Younger Kids

By now cabin-fever has likely set in. These are tying times for all of us. The disappointment of spending summer vacation in COVID-isolation is palpable.  But summer 2020 can still be fun—here are some creative things families can do to make this year’s summer vacation still feel like one.

• Break out the tent and sleeping bags and have a campout in the backyard (or the living room).

• Go stargazing. Be sure to pack a blanket and some hot chocolate. The days may be warmer, but the nights are still chilly.

• Find a drive-in movie. It may not be the theater—but it’s socially distant!

• Buy some sidewalk chalk and decorate your driveway or the sidewalk in front of your house.

• Pack a picnic lunch, a blanket, and a frisbee, and spend the afternoon at your local park.

• Make a homemade summertime treat like ice cream, lemonade, or popsicles.

• If the weather isn’t great or you don’t have a lot of outdoor space, make a pillow fort with cushions, pillows, and old sheets.

• Go for a bike ride, hike, or walk around the neighborhood. Bouncing on the trampoline or running through a sprinkler are also fun ways to stay active closer to home.

• Have a car wash party. How do you turn a car wash into a party? Think water fights with the hose, and maybe a cold treat afterwards.

Summer is a great time to just play and have fun with your kids. Relaxing, working, and playing together can strengthen your relationship with your children, and is a great way to create memories and stay healthy—mentally, emotionally, and physically.

As a parent you don't have to be 'on' all the time. Give yourself meaningful breaks and just be sure to insert at least some intermittent fun into your child's day.