Don't Make Us Go All 2020 on You.

Yes, this year is now a verb — and the free space on our 2020 bingo card. For those of you who had Kanye West running for president penciled in on B1, we are impressed. Whoever thought to have Merriam Webster adding the word "irregardless" to the dictionary, can you also let us know if Britney Spears is OK?

FORWARD TO SOMEONE WITH A MAGIC 8 BALL.

Our Minds Are Once Again in the Gutter

And that's why we'll be rejected by every league at Sandhills Bowling Center. The center has reopened to the public after a 110-day closure, thanks to a lawsuit filed on behalf of a group of bowling alleys in North Carolina. So what does bowling look like in the era of social distancing? Glad you asked.

• Every other lane is kept open. 
• Masks are required everywhere but your lane.
• Shoe rentals continue as normal, with sanitation inside and out.
• Balls are now kept behind the counter, and are sanitized after each guest.
• Lanes, tables, and everything else that may have touched a human is sanitized after each party leaves. 
• Food and beer is delivered to your lane in a closed container by a staff member wearing a mask. Gloves are changed in between orders. 

Soldier Becomes First Female Green Beret

The U.S. Army named its first female Green Beret in a graduation ceremony at Pope Army Airfield on Thursday. The unnamed soldier completed Robin Sage training in June, according to the New York Times.

Lt. Gen. Fran Beaudette, Commanding General for U.S. Army Special Operations Command, presided over the graduation ceremony. "Thankfully, after today, our Green Beret men AND women will forever stand in the hearts of free people everywhere," General Beaudette said. You obviously can't talk in bold — emphasis is ours.

SPONSORED BY MIKE ROWLAND & DESELL & CO.

Be the Ruler of Your Own Rural Kingdom

If there's any time to consider investing in your own private kingdom that's secluded from madness and free of trolls — it's right now. Fortunately, this 34-acre Carthage farm checks all the boxes. With two houses, a recreation building, a barn and a pool on the property, you can take a solo vacation without getting in your car, host a kickball tournament for your herd of farm animals and designate three rooms for your collection of vintage Pez dispensers. What we're trying to say is that the opportunities are pretty much endless. 

Vegetable gardens, orchards, hiking trails, a greenhouse and solar-powered electricity are only a few of the draws to this dreamy permaculture farm. Allow us to show you the rest. 

Raise a Glass to This French Toast

After closing its doors on June 29 to clean the building and evaluate the wellness of staff when an employee tested positive for COVID-19, The Bakehouse is again resuming takeout and curbside options. We're ticking days off the calendar by our orders of brioche dipped in whiskey egg custard and served with chocolate maple syrup.

"Thank you so much for the kind words and prayers. We feel so loved! We're all doing well and ready to serve you," owners said in this post.
 

FYI: What is Required When Employees Test Positive?

As the amount of COVID cases continues to grow, more restaurants could find themselves with positive cases. Restaurants are not required to close their doors if an employee tests positive for COVID or is presumed positive by a medical professional. What is required is thorough cleaning and disinfecting, and that the employee quarantine themselves. Here are the state health department's guidelines. 

IN OTHER NEWS BITES:

• Red Bowl reopens its dining room Monday. 
• Java Bean Roasting Co. (formally Java Bean Plantation) has rebranded and reopened with a new logo, and its cute little to-go window.
• Mason's Restaurant has opened its market, where it will eventually sell its own branded items. Until then, you can rock a T-shirt that lets everyone in the camp car line know that you know you're a hot mess.
• Grinders and Gravy, the new concept from Curt's Cucina, was originally scheduled to open on July 6; but Curt Shelvey has said it will be a few more weeks until it makes its debut.

This Bilingual Chef Will Make You Ditch the Drive-Thru

Sonia Middleton grew up with a big family — and as an adult, her in-home cooking classes attracted entire neighborhoods to her table. Sonia has turned her love of making connections through cooking into Sonia's Bilingual Kitchen, a business that offers classes taught in English and Spanish for both kids and adults, on everything from single dinners and drinks to table settings and meal prep. 

After spending time with Sonia, you and your kids might earn an appreciation for something other than chicken nuggets acquired after 20 minutes and three trips around the restaurant. Read more here.

SPONSORED BY THE SOUTHERN PINES BUSINESS ASSOCIATION

Let the Swipe Sprints Begin 

Your shiny pieces of plastic have spent quite a bit of time on the bench this season thanks to PayPal and quarantine online shopping binges, but they're in for the workout of the summer during the Southern Pines Business Association's Annual Sidewalk Sale.

It's all going down on July 18 from 10 a.m. until 5 p.m. with sales ranging from 40-85 percent off at your favorite Broad Street small businesses. Just make sure you give your cards a warmup beforehand. We'd hate to see any sprained chips. Peep the list of participating businesses.
 

Namaste Off the iPad

Help your kids age 12 and under find their post-freeze pop zen with Southern Pines Parks and Recreation's email animal yoga. Just snap a pic of little Aeighdenn doing his version of one of these animal-themed yoga poses, and email it to bsampson@southernpines.net by 5 p.m. on July 15. The first 30 participants get a goodie bag. 
 

Let Your Wall Calendar Get Some Action

We don't want to get ahead of ourselves, but doing things is almost becoming a thing again. We've already told you that the U.S. Kids Golf Championships are happening July 23 to Aug. 1, but here's what else is coming up: 

• July 30 to Aug. 1: Organizers of the annual Robbins Farmers Day, which brings up to 30,000 people to the town of a little more than a thousand, are moving forward with the festival's 65th installment. Expect a parade, live music, fair food, and pyrotechnics that should make up for your failed last-minute trip to South of the Border.

• Labor Day Weekend: Cars we can't afford will bring literal traffic to downtown Pinehurst during the third annual Sandhills Motoring Festival (postponed from Memorial Day) with proceeds benefiting Sandhills Community College's automotive program. 

• Oh, and about First Friday? MaryBeth Poplyk, executive director of the Sunrise Theater, is hopeful that 50 or more people will be allowed to gather in time for August's concert. One show has already been added to the end of the the outdoor concert season, in November.

Slowly Step Away From the Natty

Move over, off-the-shelf seltzer, because Southern Pines Brewing Co. has debuted its first — and the made here in Moore County. The Moouse is Loose is a gluten-free, 5.5 percent hard seltzer flavored with what's long been deemed the superior seltzer flavor, grapefruit. It's only available out of the taproom, so roll up to the pool party with a growler of something exclusive.  

There's Still No Excuse to Skip Leg Day

ICYMI, local gyms have been working to revoke big Rona's free pass to become permanently absorbed by your couch. CrossFit 611 may have the most impressive of local outdoor setups, complete with mats, bars and all the other CrossFitty items, all of which are spaced six feet apart. The al fresco gym is also covered by a large tarp to keep you dry if the sky decides to unleash the tears of all the bros who don't even lift. 

IN OTHER SWEATY NEWS: 

:: Pure Barre Southern Pines re-opened their studio this week with social distancing guidelines in place. Limited spots are available during classes to ensure that you can lift tone and burn safely. 

:: Forte Fitness was featured tonight's edition of The Tar Heel Traveler — a WRAL segment that journalist Scott Mason has used to highlight interesting people, businesses and ye old mom and pop barbecue joints since 1997. The segment should be posted here soon.
 

Fuel the Feeding Frenzy 

You frequent the patio at The Bell Tree Tavern enough, so you might as well get paid for it. They're currently hiring managers, sous chefs, line cooks, bussers and servers — they just ask that applicants are qualified and enthusiastic. 

Think you check all the boxes? Apply in person at the restaurant Monday through Friday. 

We'll Be Back Monday.

Your homework: Forward this email to a friend. One of you will get to improve your wardrobe with a Sway T-shirt.