IN THIS ISSUE 
 

Managing Feedback Gracefully, A Key Skill in the Positive Use of Power
     by Dr. Cedar Barstow (5 minutes)
Invitation to nominate for a Be Power Positive Award
     from Reynold Ruslan Feldman (2 minutes)
Featured Book: 
     Wisdom for Living: Learning to Follow Your Inner Guidance, 
     by Dr. Reynold Feldman
Features:
     • Oprah interviews Gary Zukov about authentic power. (23 minute utube) 
     • Interview with Cedar from VoyageDenverTrailblazers magazine (3 minutes)
Upcoming Workshops and CE Credit Hours 
     E-Courses available at the RUPI website

Our VIsion and Mission
 

Managing Feedback Gracefully: 
A Key Skill in the
Positive Use of Power
 

by Dr. Cedar Barstow 

Take a moment to notice what your response is when you hear someone say, “I have some feedback for you.”

Some people feel curious, excited, appreciated, and open to an opportunity to grow and become more effective. That’s the way we’d like it to be, of course. But for most people, the response is to tighten up, feel defensive, and become frightened of being hurt or disempowered.

When you are in the position of giving feedback, the felt-experience can be just as varied. Some people feel connected, compassionate, and effective. But many others experience giving feedback as a burden or worry that it will cause harm to the other person or to the relationship.

WHY IS FEEDBACK CHALLENGING?

Giving and receiving feedback can be tough and challenging, but in cultivating a positive use of power, it is one of the most important skills to develop. Feedback is simply information you get about yourself from others or from your own self-awareness. This information helps you understand and refine your impact on others or a job you are doing.

For many people, feedback carries a huge charge, because most of us have felt hurt by unskillful feedback.

For many people, feedback carries a huge charge, because most of us have felt hurt by unskillful feedback. Dr. Amanda Aguilera, administrative director of the Right Use of Power Institute, adds another feedback challenge: “Although we all have both desire for learning and longing for belonging and acceptance, the need for acceptance is stronger. So, if we feel our acceptance is at risk, we will tend to avoid giving feedback and/or block receiving it.”

In our Right Use of Power trainings, we reframe feedback as an “investment” in relationship. This focus can move the feedback process from one that risks acceptance and belonging to one that can actually help deepen and strengthen the relationship. It empowers “feedback givers” to be more authentic, less anxious, and confident they are offering something of value to the other. Seeing feedback as an investment supports healthy relationships.

The feedback process can be made more manageable by separating it into four aspects.

4 ASPECTS OF THE FEEDBACK PROCESS
 

The rest of this article with 4 aspects of the feedback process can be seen live here: https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/managing-feedback-gracefully-a-key-skill-in-the-positive-use-of-power-0816194  
 

 

Oprah Interviewing Gary Zukov about true power

 

Gary Zukov was one of my inspirations for understanding about power.  Here's the quote that I have carried with me since the 90's.  

"Power is energy that is formed by the intentions of the Soul.  It is Light shaped by the intentions of love and compassion guided by wisdom.  It is energy that is focused and directed to fulfilment of the tasks of the Soul upon the Earth, and the development of the personality as a physical instrument of the Soul that is appropriate to those tasks."   

Oprah was much affected by Zukov's book:  The Seat of the Soul.  This interview is 53 minutes long, and a good listen.  The section about what he calls authentic power begins at minute 33.  

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OJ6okNOxRqo

 

RUP BePoPs into the Future:
An invitation from
Reynold Ruslan Feldman, Ph.D.
RUPI Board Secretary
 

Stuff’s happening. Really? What stuff? Okay, so did you know that October 28, 2020 will be the first annual, national Be Power Positive Day?  And did you know that on that day RUPI will announce its first annual PowerPositive award winners, several people and organizations that have demonstrated exemplary public use of their power?

Okay, wait a minute. Why October 28^th? Well, that’s the birthday in 1466 of Desiderius Erasmus, the Dutch Christian humanist widely considered to be, according to Wikipedia, the greatest Renaissance scholar. In 1516, when he was 50, he published The Education of a Christian Prince. This was three years after Machiavelli’s The Prince first came out describing methods to gain, keep, and increase power. Erasmus’s book took exception to this idea of power for power’s sake, or rather, for the sake of the one acquiring it. In fact, our Dutch scholar spelled out a curriculum whereby a prince (or, now, a leader) would be trained to use their power for the welfare of their subjects. We chose October 28^th to honor Erasmus and his concept of power used for the greatest good of the greatest number. He truly is the patron saint of Right Use of Power.

The idea of annually naming a few public exemplars of this kind of use of power would be one way to get the name and concept of Right Use of Power into public consciousness. Each awardee will get a framed certificate.

Now this is where YOU come in. If you are so inspired, email me the names of a few people and/or companies you think would be brilliant candidates for our first annual awards. For each, add a sentence about why you think they should be named. The RUPI Board will take it from there. Here’s my email address: reynoldruslan@gmail.com.

Meantime, remember to BE POWERPOSITIVE. Hey, one day you might find yourself or your company being a PowerPositive awardee.
Thanks.
 
 

Interview with Cedar from VoyageDenver Trailblazers magazine

Today we’d like to introduce you to Dr. Cedar Barstow.

Dr. Barstow, can you briefly walk us through your story – how you started and how you got to where you are today.
Issues of power and goodness are personally trailblazing for me because I grew up as a shy, obedient girl/young woman who actively sought ways not to have or be powerful because I was so afraid of causing harm. There was so much hurt, violence, exploitation and force in the world around me and I didn’t want the power to have any part of it.  So I minimized my personal power.  I know I let myself get pushed around and taken advantage of.  I didn’t want conflict.

After college, I began studying to be a psychotherapist because I wanted to help people and because I thought as a helper, I wouldn’t have power.  Was I wrong!  Psychotherapists have a lot of augmented power.  As do all people in authority roles–like  supervisor, employer, clergy, parent, teacher, committee chair.  I began learning that NOT owning my power was another form of misuse of power.  In my therapist role, I had responsibility first in earning my client’s trust, and secondly in acting in trustworthy ways.

Click here for the rest of the interview.
ttp://voyagedenver.com/interview/conversations-inspiring-dr-cedar-barstow/

 

 

Right Use of Power E-Courses

Meet Your Ethics Continuing Education Requirement using Right Use of Power e-courses from the convenience of your own home, in your own time.  Or go into more depth with each topic in the Right Use Of Power book.

My Hakomi colleague Rob Fisher calls this ethics program, "ethics from the inside out, rather than from the rules' side in." Recently revised and up-dated, the courses are engaging and cover the material in the book:Right Use of Power: The Heart of Ethics, by Hakomi Trainer, Cedar Barstow and is the ethics approach described in the book:Hakomi Mindfulness-Centered Somatic Psychotherapy. The courses are approved by NBCC, NCBTMB, and BBS (California), and some other organizations by reciprocal agreement.

Five Courses, each worth three CE hours and covering the following topics:

Dimension One--Power Differential, Codes and Guidelines, Ethical Decision-Making, Violations and Statistics.
Dimension Two--Personal Power, Shame, Touch, Sexuality, Transference.  
Dimension Three--Boundaries, Resolving Difficulties, Grievance Processes, Referrals.
Dimension Four--Leadership and Power Dynamics, Challenges, Soul Work and World Service.
The More Dimension--Dual Role Relationships, Impact and Intention, Feedback, Self-Care, Influence/Values/Diversity.

Find out more about the E-courses here.
 

 

UP COMING TRAININGS

June 6-7, 2020: 
Right Use of Power Core Training
with Dr. Cedar Barstow, D.P.I. and Magi Cooper, C.H.T.
in Boulder, Colorado

June 6-10, 2020: 
Right Use of Power Teacher Training
(Includes Core Training)
with Dr. Cedar Barstow, D.P.I. and Magi Cooper, C.H.T.
in Boulder, Colorado

http://www.rightuseofpower.org/calendar.html