Grateful and annoying
Dear Friend,
Our teenager is a picky foodie. Now that we are used to it, we kind of like her feisty self. I am always worried when she eats whatever is served to her without negotiating. Is she not well? Is she depressed?
The same thing happens in relationships. We don’t feel comfortable grumbling to the people who aren’t close to us. But when we develop stronger bonds, feel grateful, and have greater trust, we start whining! Research supports this. An interesting study showed that feeling and expressing gratitude not only increases the closeness of connection but also increases the number of complaints others share!
You have a choice. You can see their complaints as an annoyance. Or, you can assume their gripes reflect that they now care and are valuing your relationship more than previously.
I hope you don’t get to hear too many complaints. But if you do, I suggest, within reason, consider your friends and loved ones’ complaints not as a sign of distrust or distance, but as a marker of closeness and love!
Have a lovely weekend!
Amit
Amit Sood, MD MSc
www.resilientoption.com
www.resiliencetrainer.com
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