The Devil in Daniel Jones

SEPTEMBER 12, 2019

Dear <<First Name>>,

Want to talk about a Quarterback Controversy? 

No. The Bills don't have one unless you want to debate the merits of "2/3 of the Game" Josh Allen or "1/3 of the Game" Josh Allen... HINT: "1/3" was better and hopefully gets the nod Sunday against the Giants.

Controversial is the fact that it was just released that Sam Darnold may be out multiple weeks with ....MONO! Mono? Is he in high school or licking water fountains at the training center? Sweet Jesus. And he could miss multiple weeks? That's not Mono. That's full blown Duo.

So yep. The Jets have a different QB this week but we don't play them and we don't care...unless "1/3 of the Game" Josh Allen shared a milkshake last week with Sam "Swollen Glands" Darnold.

It's this week's opponents, the Giants who actually have a QB Controversy. They have long-in-the-tooth starter Eli Manning who can only beat the Patriots on February Sundays vs. the upstart Daniel Jones who can say he played QB for Duke but no one even believes that Duke has a football team. (And if they did have a football team their coach would have to have a name with only vowels and their home field would have to be called Cameron Outdoor Arena. All the players would turn pro after the third game.)

Fans in NY wondered what the G-Men were up to when they selected Jones in the first round of the draft this year. (There were more audible "Boos" than in an Usher and Alicia Keys collaboration. That was a joke for the young kids. I hear there's a whole separate MaddenBillsBackers group out there. They meet in someone's basement.) Jones, though, crushed it in pre-season, completing 97 of 13 passes. He was like totally, majorly awesome!

But Eli is a legend. Well, sort of.... a legend sort of like Zelda (Hi again kids! Uncle Bri is still bugging on you...that's the right phrase right? Or is it "lap dancing near your homeboys?" Whatevs.). He brought the Giants two Super Bowls and no one is willing to say "Get out of here old man. You stink and you smell bad too." Last week against the Cowboys Eli was eaten alive and this week he still doesn't have Golden Taint nor Sterling Shepard.

But...

He does have Super Back "What Did You Just" Saquan Barkley out there though. Still, one man does not an offense make. (Just ask Shady McCoy and the rest of the Bills on the KC offensive squad.) Sure he can run but the Bills' (By the way, that KC line back there was sarcasm.). strength lies in their run stopping.... add in the QB and receiver mess of "Team from the Meadowlands II" and this should be an easy win...

What? We scored only 17 last week! I know. I know. But that was when  "1/3 of the Game" Josh Allen and Devin "Don't Call Me Mike" Singletary... and John Brown... and just about everyone woke up....

...and the Giants gave up over 75 yards a pass play last week in the lost. (I'm sorry. I am exaggerating a bit. 73 yards.).

Trust me. We got this one. 

See you this Sunday!

The mono in your milkshake,
Brian

P.S. Don't forget we got FREE PARKING and a way for you to add the game to your calendar...and lots of other insight on the website.

P.S.S. And still I ask: Really, Cleveland? Really?

#GOBILLS #BILLSMAFIA