I quietly sat there for what seemed like an eternity and allowed the tears to roll down my cheeks. After three silent minutes passed, I found the courage to reply, “His job is to be with his friends.”
Emerson is our “collision child.” Will was old enough when we moved here that his Cultural Identity is far more American than German. Sadie was young enough when we moved here that her Cultural Identity is far more German than American. But Emerson was old enough when we moved here to have American as part of his identity, but young enough that German is prominent in his Cultural Identity. He is our 50/50 Cultural Identity kid! If you have ever heard the term Third Cultural kid, ours are text book examples. They each experience life and living in two cultures which makes a blend of a third. Emerson has the added bonus of what I call “collision”, due to his age when we moved. Therefore, parenting within a “collision” makes for some unique situations.
There is a season in parenting when you cross over from physical exhaustion to the mental exhaustion. It’s the same season when your kid starts walking over that imaginary bridge from kid, to teen, to adult. Our sweet, deep loving, inclusive, whole hearted Emerson has set out on that bridge. And with each step he takes my prayers have shifted.
For Emerson to “do his job” he must have far more freedom that most American 11 years old. His job requests freedom to wander the city on shopping streets, wander in the mall or food store, or ride public transits all without adult supervision. He will travel to his tennis practice alone and navigate other outings to the sportsplatz without parents present. As you can imagine this takes a lot of trust, courage, and mental capacity from a parent. It also take a lot of maturity, reliability, and trustworthiness from a kid.
In full disclosure, this transition this year has not been smooth nor beautiful at times. YET, the Lord has been faithful to direct Nate and I in words and prayers that have needed to be spoken. In May of this year, we watched God move a mountain on his behalf. In June, we watched Emerson’s eyes fill with life and adventure. In July, we watched him settle into himself and follow the promptings of the Holy Spirit. In August, we watched new paths for communication and resources open up. And today, we are experiencing more connectivity then we have in months.
In July, the Lord said to me, “You are your child’s greatest prayer warrior.” and it’s true. We all are our kids or grandkids greatest prayer warrior. We must know when and how to be like Joshua in Joshua 6:15-16. The Lord had given a directive on when Joshua was to shout. Joshua waited patiently, knew when it was time, and then shouted and blew the horns. We must know too when to blow those trumpets!
We must know truths about our kids and when to declare those over them. We must know when to intervene and when to allow the pain or hurt to help them mature in their faith and character. And for us we must know what is our American identify, our German identity, and our Christian identity and help grow in our child the right thing. Because growing the right thing allows him to go do his job.
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