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The Autumn Equinox marks the transition from Summer to Fall, as the amount of light in our day changes. It's an invitation for us all to celebrate the building and strengthening of our inner lives. Through this transition, we align with nature's cycle, which is continually in flux.

Change is inevitable and sometimes, painful, but necessary. In fact, working with/through a transition offers a beautiful opportunity to remain open. 

In this special edition of Homecoming, we continue to explore openness during challenging times like unexpected changes. I encourage you to read the last edition to help guide you. 

Happy Autumn Equinox, to you.

Jenn Pamela Chowdhury
Founder, Homecoming of the Human Spirit  
 
The Medicine of Openness

Part II: Being Human Is Hard…But We’re All In It Together

We are all inextricably connected. I am who I am because of you, and what you do impacts me just as much as what I do, impacts you. This belief - that all of humankind is tied together - is supported by ancient beliefs, spiritual practices and communities around the world. And yet, we are more divided than ever before. Whether it's our dependency on technology or the "us vs. them" mentality, we are subconsciously creating a deeper chasm in an effort, ironically, to stay connected. This can lead to a deeper sense of loneliness. I was recently at a youth discussion meeting at the Soka Gakkai International (SGI) Center in Manhattan and the topic was loneliness. Through our shares, we were able to form a common understanding: we all felt a sense of isolation and desired connection. Our willingness to be vulnerable opened up parts of ourselves that we were too ashamed to talk about. It shapes our humanity. 

I am quite open about my own work with a therapist and I use my own social media platforms to talk about mental health and shadow work. I intentionally seek communities and spaces that allow for these sorts of dialogues and I've felt most comfortable in BIPOC-friendly spaces and women's circles. Here, I know we're all in it, together. We're all working through whatever it is we're trying to work through, together. We don't always have the answers (don't believe the false illusion that social media likes to feed you), and we don't always need to have the answers. 

There is collective struggle - shared trauma, shared pain, shared tears - but there can also be collective joy. I know when I finish this piece, I will celebrate and show gratitude for loved ones, (human, animal, living, long gone) ancestors, sanghas, strangers and all the communities who have held space for me to write even one word. My creative work is a culmination of my own love and strength, supported by love of thousands. Energetically, I closed off my creative center months ago after the loss of our family dog. It was one of the most painful experiences I’d ever been through. I was supposed to lead a guided meditation and dhamma talk the day after we put him to sleep. I had a choice to make: do I show up or do I stay home and grieve? But why does it have to be binary? Is it possible to grieve while holding space for myself and others? Yes, it is. In fact, I incorporated that pain into the practice when I talked about impermanence. I offered reiki after leading a long metta (lovingkindness) meditation…to a room full of practitioners. Somehow, by making space for the heartbreak of losing someone I cared so deeply about, I was able to open my heart. That evening, I felt an energetic release from the group I worked with. A friend shared with me her relationship to the words: “may I be happy, may I be healthy, may I be peaceful, may I be free of suffering.” It rekindled a memory for her, a time of great suffering followed by stillness. Collectively, we both understood the same language: that wishing for one’s own happiness is not always easy.  But it doesn’t have to be hard, either. And you don’t have to do it alone. 

Over the past three years, I gained a great deal of knowledge from the wonderful spiritual communities I joined, learning about tools and resources that could help support my path to healing. At the end of the day, though, they were simply tools. It was up to me, as the meaning maker, to put them into practice.  Shadow work involves seeing yourself, as you are. I brought that Jenn to my therapist's office every week, in whatever form she wanted to be in: angry Jenn, jealous Jenn, heartbroken Jenn, terrified Jenn. There are still many parts that I refuse to confront, but healing isn’t linear. “It’s hard to be human. But we’re all trying our best, aren’t we?” my therapist often says. 

In a fragmented world, I truly believe our collective humanity deeply connects us all. While I usually practice alone at home, I often try to meditate with others in my sangha/community whenever I can. While we may not all know each other very well, I know that the moment we sit on our cushions, we’re resting in our humanity.  We are working to cultivate our inner perfect nature and recognize our own suffering. Our experiences are intertwined, and it’s through communal reflection - whether through dialogue or personal practice - where we can truly find opportunities to open ourselves. 

"On this day of your genesis, your leap, your mark in your history, perhaps your elixir is simply this: that you can either leave something for people or you can leave something in people."

- Viola Davis, award-winning actress, producer and humanitarian | Keynote address to the Class of 2019 at Barnard College's 127th Commencement 

 

 
 
Eating the Sun: A Lovely Illustrated Celebration of Wonder, How the Universe Works, and the Existential Mystery of Being Human | Brain Pickings 

"Depending on where you look, what you touch, you are changing all the time. The carbon inside you, accounting for about 18 percent of your being, could have existed in any number of creatures or natural disasters before finding you. That particular atom residing somewhere above your left eyebrow? It could well have been a smooth, riverbed pebble before deciding to call you home. 

You see, you are not so soft after all; you are rock and wave and the peeling bark of trees, you are ladybirds and the smell of a garden after the rain. When you put your best foot forward, you are taking the north side of a mountain with you."

Selection of the Month

Whatever wholesome deeds,
Such as venerating the Buddhas, and generosity,
That have been amassed over a thousand aeons
Will all be destroyed in one moment of anger.

There is no evil like hatred,
And no fortitude like patience.
Thus I should strive in various ways
To meditate on patience.

My mind will not experience peace
If it fosters painful thoughts of hatred.
I shall find no joy or happiness,
Unable to sleep, I shall feel unsettled.

A master who has hatred
Is in danger of being killed
Even by those who for their wealth and happiness
Depend upon his kindness.

Hence the enemy, anger,
Creates sufferings such as these,
But whoever assiduously overcomes it
Finds happiness now and hereafter.

Therefore I should totally eradicate
The fuel of this enemy;
For this enemy has no other function
Than that of causing me harm.

Whatever befalls me
I shall not disturb my mental joy;
For having been made unhappy, I shall not accomplish
what I wish
And my virtues will decline.

Why be unhappy about something
If it can be remedied?
And what is the use of being unhappy about something
If it cannot be remedied?

For myself and for my friends
I want no suffering, no disrespect,
No harsh words and nothing unpleasant;
But for my enemies it is the opposite.

The causes of happiness sometimes occur
But the causes for suffering are very many.
Without suffering there is no renunciation.
Therefore, mind, you should stand firm.

There is nothing whatsoever
That is not made easier through acquaintance.
So through becoming acquainted with small harms
I should learn to patiently accept greater harms.

Who has not seen this to be so with trifling sufferings
Such as the bites of snakes and insects,
Feelings of hunger and thirst
And with such minor things as rashes?

I should not be impatient
With heat and cold, wind and rain,
Sickness, bondage and beatings;
For if I am, the harm they cause me will increase.

A Guide to the Bodhisattva’s Way of Life, translated by Stephen Batchelor, published by the Library of Tibetan Works and Archives, Dharamsala, 1979.

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