"If Jarrett was a plant, I would tell you that his leaves are already beginning to un-shrivel as he drinks in fresh water and sunshine," I (Melissa) recently wrote to a friend about Jarrett's transition from Ukrainian public school to their new Christian school, a hybrid of Ukrainian and American education systems.
(Left: a root-bound houseplant I recently re-potted)
We don't typically write about our kids, but they are my main focus in ministry at this season of our lives. Jarrett spent 1st through 4th grade at a Ukrainian public school. It has given him fluency in 2 other languages and comfort moving around Ukrainian culture that Sam and I will never have. But Ukrainian school is rough, even for Ukrainian kids. It is a harsh, demanding place where perfection is praised and imperfection is publicized and shamed. It is an environment of constant judgement and little grace. On the positive side, kids are taught from a young age to take responsibility for their possessions, their appearances and their actions. We appreciated that when kids did well, they were praised and when they did not, they were told honestly without sugar coating.
This past year was hard for Jarrett. We decided to have him graduate from elementary school with his classmates of four years and for him and Evy go to school together as she started first grade. Evy thrived in first grade with a wonderful teacher, 37 (!!) classmates, and a new government education initiative to implement modern (not Soviet-style) teaching methods/resources. But Jarrett had no real friends, and the pressure and expectations had grown as the kids got older and were expected to be mature and have it all together. Their teacher, in her attempts to control their behavior, often ranted to the kids about how they were stupid and would never amount to anything. Jarrett became closed - both emotionally and spiritually, unhappy - bordering on depression, angry, and very critical of himself and others.
After second or third day at their new school, Jarrett turned to Evy and said, "You know why our new school is so much better than our old school? Because they actually love us there." We have seen major changes in Jarrett this past month. He typically comes home with a smile, ready to tell us about his day and something interesting they did in class. He is more at ease with himself and ready to laugh and joke with us. It is as if someone has given him permission to be himself and he is opening up and enjoying life.
Just as each plant is unique and requires different amounts of sunlight, water, nutrients, and the type of soil and climate/temperature play an important role in whether the plant thrives or not, so also are people. As we seek to disciple both our children and our students, we want to study them as individuals and seek to meet their individual needs, both felt and actual. While God often chooses to do a work in our hearts instead of changing or removing us from difficult circumstances, sometimes a new climate permeated with His Word is how God chooses to work. Our job as disciplers, mentors, and parents is to to our best to discern how God is working in the lives of those under our care,"proclaiming Him warning everyone and teaching everyone with all wisdom, that we may present everyone mature in Christ" (Col 1:28).
Students from TCI visit KTS
Ministry has not stopped during this time. A new school year brought our students from Kyiv (KTS) and Kherson (TCI) together. Misha Feyer taught "Counseling in Youth Ministry" and I taught some and assisted in the course administration. It was great to see the connections and friendship being established between students of different regions. And of course... we ate Pizza at our house, the first time TCI have stepped foot through our door.