Marshall's birthday!
Dear <<First Name>>,
Yes today would have been Marshall Rosenberg's 85th birthday! In honour of this visionary man and the beautiful legacy that he gifted us, I've selected a few of his precious words, many of which are excerpts from recorded workshops, and included them below. No matter how committed we are to NVC practices and how skillful we may be, it's always beneficial to return to the master's teachings:
"I really don't know how to continue our relationship, because there are certain things that I need in a relationship that I'm not getting, such as the ability to talk about certain feelings. If that is different from what you want in a relationship, then I would just like to get that clear so that we can have an NVC breakup." (p39)
"When you're hearing what another person says as meaning you did something wrong, that's a further violation of the other person, because then not only is the other person not getting the understanding that they need, but they also get the feeling that their honesty creates problems for you. It's going to be harder for the other person to be honest in the future if they try to tell you what's going on with them and you think you did something wrong." (p48)
"Hearing you now, with these empathy ears on, I feel a deep, deep sadness, because I can see that I have not met my own needs with some of the things that I've done in our relationship: my need to nurture you in the way that I'd like, to contribute to your well-being. When I see how my actions have just the opposite effect, how they've created so much pain for you, I feel a deep sadness, and I'm very vulnerable right now. I'd like to hear how you feel when I tell you about this sadness." (p65)
"I would like to add to this discussion of anger the concept of punishment. The kind of thinking that leads us to be angry is the kind of thinking that implies that people deserve to suffer for what they've done. In other words, I'm talking about he moralistic judgments we make of other people that imply wrongn ess, irresponsibility, or inappropriateness. At their root, all of these judgments imply that people shouldn't have done what they did and they deserve some form of condemnation or punishment for doing it." (p107)
"Let me tell you what I mean by empathic connection. Empathy, of course, is a special kind of understanding. It's not an understanding of the head, where we just mentally understand what another person says. It's something far deeper and more precious than that. Empathic connection is an understanding of the heart, where we see the beauty in tghe other person, the Divine Energy in the other person, the life that's alive in that person. We connect with it. We don't mentally understand it; we connect with it." (p155)
For some of Marshall's thought provoking one liners, here's an article I wrote 2 years ago which contains several of them >>
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Update on A Call To Live Deeply scheduled for Feb 2020 in Mexico: Margie Weaver and I are sad to announce that this event has been cancelled. Unfortunately the centre required a guarantee that we would have enough people to run the program .. which they required by September .. and which I think might be a bit soon for most people. So be it. Mexico is off the calendar for now. Margie and I haven't given up altogether though. We're still considering alternatives. Stay tuned!
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Would you like to take NVC to the next level? Please consider my mentorship program: an effective way to deepen your practice and possibly become a reliable source others can turn to in times of need.
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Thank you for reading. Until the next time, may you and your kin be well ..
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