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What to do when children get it wrong
November 2019
This month's newsletter is all about how to respond when children get it wrong. We have a discussion on using Time Out (aka the Naughty Step) - does it work and is it good/bad for kids? And what about other types of consequences? We have two strategies for encouraging children to get it right more often (behaviour contracts for older children and behaviour charts for younger children) and a personal piece on trying not to panic or self-blame when teenagers do really stupid things. Plus an update on our online parenting course and and lots of other news from the Positive Parenting Project!
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Should I use Time Out?
There is a lot of contradictory information out there about Time Out (aka the Naughty Step). Should parents use it? Does it work? Is it harmful? What are the alternatives? To help you cut through the opinions and make an informed decision, I have pulled together all the research and arguments. Here is what you need to think about. Read more...
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Using consequences for misbehaviour
One of the key ways that children learn is through cause and effect. By providing consequences for children's behaviour, parents can help structure their choices so they make the right choice more often. Here are a few golden rules for choosing and implementing consequences. Read more...
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When teenagers do stupid things
One of the hazards of modern parenting is our tendency to blame the parents (or ourselves) when kids get it wrong. When it comes to parenting teenagers, that's a very problematic way of thinking. Because teenagers have a tendency to do really dumb things, even when they've had great parenting. What teens really need from us in those big mistake moments is to believe in them. Read more...
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Behaviour contracts
If problem behaviour is very entrenched, then motivating children to get it right (rather than responding when they get it wrong) is often far more effective. There are two ways to do this, depending on your child's age. Behaviour contracts are a brilliant tool to use with older tweens and teens, whereas behaviour charts are best for younger children.
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Parenting isn't easy. A little help from the experts can make a big difference! Triple P Online is a fantastic online solution for busy parents who are looking for new parenting strategies and ideas. It's interactive, based on clinical research on what works, and you can log in wherever and whenever suits you. Available in two versions - one for younger children and one for 10yrs+. Read more...
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News from the Positive Parenting Project
I am absolutely delighted to have finally finished writing my book! Thank you so much to everyone who kept asking about it, that really helped to spur me on. We are now at the copy editing stage, where the layout gets decided and the whole thing gets checked for spellings and typos etc (by someone other than me - you may have noticed that typos do slip past me far too often!). The cover is being designed and we are set for publication next year. Watch this space for updates on publication date and pre-ordering opportunities.
I am now onto my next project, setting up an online support space for parents of teenagers. Plans are afoot to raise a kickstarter fund for that via crowdfunding. To support our case, we are looking for testimonies from parents of teenagers who are willing to talk about their experiences and about the importance of finding someone to talk to when things get tough. If you'd like to get involved, please do get in touch.
On a lighter note, if you are off to Center Parcs with your children this Autumn/Winter, look out for my tips on eating out with children in their Village Life Magazine. And keep an eye on our Facebook page for lots of fun and free ideas to help you make the most of your precious family time.
Anita
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Catch up on these previous editions of The Positive Parenting Project newsletter:
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