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There's a lot going on right now. There are thousands of things you can choose to pay attention to. Here in Durham, we had some fairly contentious municipal elections last month. There's the seemingly permanently contentious state government. And since we've all survived Thanksgiving at this point, let's not even wade into the waters of national politics. There are family dynamics to navigate. Maybe your job is crazy right now. Maybe you're in school. Maybe you have kids. Maybe this. Maybe that. When my head is swimming with everything vying for my attention, I find it helpful, once in a while, to just list everything that's on my mind. (You might do this through meditation or therapy or journaling, but I'm not sure the medium matters nearly as much as the practice.)
There are two reasons I like to write down everything that I've got on my mind. The first is borrowed from David Allen of Getting Things Done fame: "minds are for having ideas, not holding them." I feel significantly more in control when I at least know what I'm facing. The second reason is to look for opportunities.
When you can spend time thinking about each of the chaotic scenarios swirling around you, you can move from reactive to proactive and start looking for ways to take advantage of the chaos. What seems like cacophonous noise to some is just the beginning of a new melody to others. Michael and Dayson are both working to write new melodies.
How are you rethinking the opportunities in front of you? How can you engage in contemplative, restorative practices that energize you to the core of who you are and propel you forward into something new, daring, and creative? If someone puts a microphone in your face and you can say anything you want to 10 million people, what will you say?
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What I'm Reading
Jim Camp
I've been in a bit of a reading slump. I haven't read anything since summer that really put me back on my heels and/or reframed the way I thought about things. I was actually hopping this one might, given my penchant for contrarian thinking. Indeed, I have a whole bookmark library called "Divergent Thinking" devoted to those who, whether I agree with them or not, go against the conventional wisdom in clever or creative ways. Ultimately, I was disappointed. Here are the highlights:
- Negotiation starts with 'no,' it doesn't end there
- 'No' opens up creative options for moving forward and avoids the 'win-win' where everyone feels just a bit cheated...
- When you get desperate/needy in a negotiation, you're about to be taken advantage of
- "Yes" and "Maybe" are the two worst words in a negotiation
- Yes - they don't really mean yes; they're either going to back out later or they're trying to make you think you've got a quick deal and are about to ask for a bunch of concessions
- Maybe - they're not a good negotiator or they're the wrong person to negotiate with. With this answer, you should just tell them, "No" and consider the deal dead.
- Before entering into any negotiation, create a checklist and script you'll follow (these help keep out emotion and distractions)
- For a more thorough list of highlights, check these out
(6 months ago, I reviewed Never Split the Difference which was also about negotiating and one for which I would give a much higher recommendation.)
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Around the Web
In September (I know, SO long ago, right?) a Category 5 hurricane completely devastated the Bahamas. A college student in Texas was directly affected: his parents' home was destroyed, as was the church where his father was a minister. Nate Bain is a fifth-year senior at Stephen F. Austin State University in Nacogdoches (where my wife went for undergrad) and plays on the basketball team. He considered dropping out to return home to help rebuild, but his parents insisted that he stay. So instead of returning home, he started a GoFundMe, only made slightly more complicated by the fact that the NCAA has very... particular... regulations about money and college athletes. But every little bit helps and as of last Monday, he'd raised about $2000.
On Tuesday, we went to see Amanda's alma mater, SFA, play against Duke at Cameron Indoor, knowing full well it was practically an exhibition game. (The odds-makers in Las Vegas had Duke winning by 28 points.) Then a crazy thing happened...
As of the time of this writing, more than $140,000 has been donated to help Nate's parents rebuild. We donated and if you'd like, you can too.
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Just for fun:
I'm such a sucker for covers that systematically alter the genre of the original. And while this time of year is ideal for that, let's ease into it with something season-agnostic:
What if Lizzo's Truth Hurts was performed by Mumford and Sons?
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