Seven Second Delay News for November 13, 2019: Creating Andy's Shea Stadium Fantasy

Andy's Shea Stadium Fantasy:

1) Repeat Andy's Name Incessantly.

2) Call about your bad concert memories.

Dear Friends, it is with a heavy heart I write this week's newsletter. I must tell you about a very special comedian who has gone years and years, indeed a whole career, with one little wish. He has nurtured it deep within the bowels of his breast for years and years, and yea, verily the flame is flickering and starting to die out.

Yes, our very own Andy BreckmanMan has been selflessly giving you laughs, chuckles and mirth every week for about thirty years now. Every week, mostly, he devotes almost a full hour of his time to call in or maybe even show up at the little radio station in Jersey City. Does he do it for glory? For fame? For money? No! He does it for you and you alone, dear listeners and friends.

And he has a little dream that you can fulfill. You don't need to send in money, stand on your head, or run a 10k. Or even a 1k. Not hardly.

But you can help by lifting your voices to the airwaves.

You see, our little BreckmanMan has for years dreamed, yea even fantasized, about people wanting him, needing him, making him feel loved. And he has dreamed that the women in the audience would express their love by calling his name softly, tenderly, ever so gently. Maybe even like Ann-Margret would. Or at least how thousands of oversexed young women did for the Beatles at Shea Stadium!

So tonight, we invite you to call (201) 209-9368 and fulfill this man's wish. We are hoping to get three (3) of our female listeners to call in and make a Greek chorus calling out Andy's name. Make this man feel like a rock star!

Once we have achieved Greek Beatles Chorus status, and only then, we will invite other listeners to call in with your TERRIBLE CONCERT EXPERIENCES. Maybe you got stuck behind a post. Maybe you got diarrhea, or took the brown acid, or Mario got busted and it was a bummer. Yes, a topic of interest to all! BUT IT WON'T HAPPEN UNLESS WE GET THREE WOMEN TO CALL IN FIRST.

Now, after having to write all this, your dear Editor Jeremiah has a special twist to this request. Andy wants three women to call in and call his name. MY special non-binding request is that we get callers that sound like they are over the age of seventy-five and/or have been smoking Luckies for at least thirty years. Lunchlady Doris, are you out there? Will anyone call their elderly Aunt Edna to help out with our special request? Pretty please and thank you! Don't tell Andy I wrote this, I'll get fired!

Andy's Korner

I thought I was lovable but it's been years since anyone pinched my cute little jowls. I've given so much to this show, and all it has taken is my will to live.

Ken's Korner

When I told my wife the idea of tonight's Seven Second Delay, her immediate response was: "You agreed to THAT?!"

The answer, sadly, is yes. I agreed to it. Andy has been begging me to do the "Shea Stadium" idea for three months now. I have finally relented. Forgive me.

Moving on. Thanks to everybody who donated to the imaginary fundraiser in October. We've now mailed out almost all of the swag, so hopefully a few more of you out there can wear the Seven Second Delay Virture Signaling T-shirt over the holidays! It's for listeners who hate haters. If you don't hate haters. please do NOT wear this shirt.

Andy's Twitter

Ken's Twitter

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