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TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 26, 2019

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Laid off WeWorkers start freelancing in WeWorks

Adam Neumann taketh away, and Adam Neumann giveth right back. This past week, over 2,000 WeWork employees lost their jobs, and now most of them are right back in WeWorks freelancing in the friendly confines of cucumber water, potluck lunches, and phone booths full of formaldehyde.

"You know, I'm pretty sure half of those formaldehyde phone booths weren't even removed," said former Director of Product Analytics/new Product Analytics Consultant Danielle Raginsky. "Severance was nice, but if my hair starts falling out in clumps I could take these guys right to the cleaners."

Yes, demand is soaring with so many displaced tech workers looking for dedicated desks. If only WeWork hadn't laid off their pricing and FP&A teams, maybe they could have figured out how to capitalize on this.

NEWS IN PHOTOS

Dreamforce Dreamhorse put down after breaking leg
Rest in peace, CRMbiscuit

Friendsgiving potluck attendees assigned Asana tasks

Uber says self-driving cars not employees, just contractors

Laid off Juul, WeWork employees start co-vaping space to save on costs

John Legere is leaving T-Mobile, but dang if he wouldn’t make a great Doobie Brother

Carl-to-Action

Loafers,

A Happy Thanksgiving one and all! Remember that just because you have a seat at your company's cap table does not mean you won't get put at the kiddie table.

Be thankful that although you only got a 1x return on your investment in that Israeli geospatial technology startup, your cousin was completely cleaned out by his investment in that Israeli nanotechnology startup. Be thankful that although your company is valued at $55MM and your cousin's is valued at $310MM, you have the title of Senior Product Manager and she only has the title of Product Manager. Be thankful you have a wishbone to break with your overly competitive cousin, for in just a few short years meat will be obsolete.

Stuffingly yours,

Carl "Squanto" Cantana
TechLoaf CEO and Turkey Pardoner

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