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What We Can Learn From Waiting

December, 2019

Dear Friends,

Happy Advent! For those of you who don't know what Advent is, let me tell you a story. 

It comes from a friend who was serving as a worship associate in her church the first Sunday of Advent one year. She made the opening announcements, then sat down and waited for the pastor to take over.  

But the pastor just sat in his seat, seemingly oblivious to the fact he was supposed to start the service. The seconds ticked by. She looked at him, puzzled. Members of the congregation looked at him, equally puzzled. He still sat there, immobile. 

Now the congregation was getting restless and my friend was wondering what she should do. The tension grew. Finally, after what seemed like a painfully long period of time, the pastor stood up and walked slowly to the pulpit. He shuffled some papers, cleared his throat, and looked out across the congregation. 

"Waiting," he said. "Waiting for something to happen when you're not sure how long the wait will be or what you're waiting for. That's Advent. And that wait was 90 seconds long."

If I'd been present in church that morning, I'd have been one of those who thought the wait was an hour instead of 90 seconds. I hate to wait for anything (which is ironic because I've chosen a profession in which it seems like I'm always waiting---for things to get published, for feedback, for editors to get back to me, for assignments and contracts and payments). 

But all of us, of course, have to play the waiting game in one way or another. Most of the time, it's frustrating and stress-inducing, whether we're waiting for a website to load, a traffic light to change, or for the results from a medical test. The main difference is just the intensity level.

And that's why the message of Advent is so counter-cultural: Advent tells us that waiting can be a good thing. This season is designed to prepare us for mystery and transformation, neither of which can be rushed. 

All of this has me thinking about the value of patience, which I've always considered to be a highly over-rated virtue. But waiting isn't going to disappear, so maybe we should try to cultivate patience more deliberately. 

Here are three truths that I'm going to try to keep in mind the next time I'm trapped in a circular loop of frustration: 

Waiting can be a spiritual discipline. I know this from observing the Buddha who sits in my backyard, so motionless that ivy grows over his head every summer. I like to look at him when I'm feeling particularly irritated by life. Be still, he reminds me. Take a deep breath. Your worrying doesn't do anything to change the world. Look at me. I'm not bothered in the least by that leaf growing over my eye.

Waiting reminds us of our vulnerability. It's easy to think we're in control and are pretty hot stuff, until something smacks us up side our head, like the news that someone we love is in trouble and there's not a single thing we can do to help, or any other of a host of hard situations. That's when it pays to keep in mind that sometimes feeling small and helpless is the first halting step we make into the light of grace.

Waiting can bring gifts. Probably you've had the chance, as I've had, to receive something truly significant that you've hoped for over a long period. That time of waiting makes the final outcome infinitely sweeter. I remember my mother talking about what it was like when my older sister was born on Christmas Eve after she and my dad had been trying to have their first baby for nine years. Now that's a long Advent. And a very happy Christmas.

That's how all of us should welcome Christmas, this holiday in which the divine is reborn once again in our lives: with joy and gratitude so profound and deep we can hardly believe the miracle is happening.

So whether we celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, or the Winter Solstice this month, there are things we can learn from waiting. Whatever you're hoping for, I wish you patience. And I hope to find some for myself, too.

Blessings on all your journeys--

Lori

photo credit: Bob Sessions
 


Recommended Reading:

Barbara Brown Taylor's Learning to Walk in the Dark is a powerful meditation on the gifts of darkness and uncertainty, two things we normally view as negative.

In Patience: The Art of Peaceful Living, spiritual teacher Allan Lokos draws on Buddhist wisdom to shed light on how we can develop patience to cope with stressful situations in our lives.

M.J. Ryan's The Power of Patience: How This Old-fashioned Virtue Can Improve Your Life offers down-to-earth advice on how to develop a habit of patience.

 

Spiritual Travels Highlights

In honor of the Feast Day of Our Lady of Guadalupe on December 12, here are two articles from my Spiritual Travels website: 

Mexico City's Shrine of Our Lady of Guadalupe: In 1531 the peasant Juan Diego had a vision of the Virgin Mary that's become one of the most beloved representations of Mary in the world. I loved visiting this shrine and seeing the ways in which the Virgin of Guadalupe is honored in Mexico.

Wisconsin's Shrine of Our Lady of Guadalupe: In the rolling hills near LaCrosse, Wisconsin, this modern shrine honors the patron saint of Mexico with beautiful architecture and a peaceful setting. It's become a favored stop for those traveling back and forth to the Mayo Clinic in Minnesota.

 

Book Updates:

My new book Near the Exit: Travels with the Not-So-Grim Reaper is an exploration of places that have helped me come to terms with mortality. It was featured in these media outlets this past month:

Episcopal Cafe: Erickson’s vocations as deacon and travel writer make her the ideal adventure guide for this topic

Ethical Perspectives on the News Program on KCRG-TV in Cedar Rapids, IA: End of Life Transitions

Kenosha (WI) News: Regardless of where Erickson roams and contemplates, a sense of awe and humor prevail

If you'd like to purchase Near the Exit or Holy Rover as a holiday gift, I can send you a signed bookplate to personalize your gift. Send me a note at erickson.lori@gmail if you're interested.



 


Coming Up:

Book Talk: December 8, 9:15 am, St. Stephen’s Lutheran Church in Cedar Rapids, Iowa

Speaker at Worship Service: February 2, 10 am, Decorah Unitarian Universalist, Decorah, Iowa

What I Learned From Traveling With the Grim Reaper: speech at Cornell College in Mount Vernon, Iowa, February 19, 11:10 am

Book Talk: February 16, 9:30 am, Zion Lutheran Church in Iowa City

Book Talk: February 27, 7 pm, Matthew 25 in Cedar Rapids, Iowa (sponsored by Christ Episcopal Church)

Speaker at Writing for Your Life Conference with Barbara Brown Taylor: Minneapolis, Minnesota, April 29, 2020

Lori Erickson is one of America’s top travel writers specializing in spiritual journeys. She's the author of the new book Near the Exit: Travels With the Not-So-Grim Reaper and the 2017 memoir Holy Rover: Journeys in Search of Mystery, Miracles, and God. Her website Spiritual Travels features holy sites around the world. 
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