The world tongue twister champion has just been convicted.

I hear he’s going to get a really tough sentence

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A grandfather was delivering his grandchildren to their home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog's duties.

"They use him to keep crowds back," said one child.

"No," said another. "He's just for good luck."

A third child brought the argument to a close. “They use the dogs," she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrants."

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Last year I replaced several windows in my house and they were the expensive double-pane energy efficient kind. But this week I got a call from the contractor complaining that his work has been completed for a whole year and I had yet to pay for them.

Boy, oh boy, did we go round. Just because I am female doesn't mean that I'm automatically stupid. So, I proceeded to tell him, just what his fast talking sales guy had told me last year. . . "that in one year the windows would pay for themselves".

There was silence on the other end of the line so I just hung up and I haven't heard back. Guess I must have won that silly argument.