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Day 4: Surrender and Sacrifice

Welcome to day 4.

Today is a big one...today is about letting go.

Letting go is, for me, without a doubt the hardest thing. I am an emotional hoarder 'work in progress', getting better all the time but still finding it excruciatingly hard (it's a truism but yogis don't practice yoga because they are all 'peace, love and light' yogis practice yoga because they really need it.)

And yet, one of the most important principles of yoga is that of letting go. It comes up time and time again in all the ancient texts. And yoga teaches us that we have to let go because what we are holding onto is only holding us back.

Imagine a divine infinite consciousness, pure potential, pure joy. Now imagine that you are this infinite divine being. You are a small fragment of infinity wrapped up in a little finite 'you' shaped body, with 'you' shaped thoughts and a 'you' shaped life. But deep inside all that 'you-ness' is that infinite divine force which is wondrous, powerful & magnificent.

This is what the yogis believe. That we are all inherently divinely perfect but that we have just got so busy being 'us' that we have forgotten it. That is why they put so much importance on letting go.

Surrendering our 'stuff' means that we are a small step closer to remembering how absolutely divinely brilliant we are in the first place.

In the Yoga Sutras we are offered a spiritual practice called Kriya Yoga

tapah svadhyayesvara pranidhani kriya yogah (sutra 2:1)
Do the work, study the results, then surrender it all up.
 

Tapas is the fiery discipline we need in order to stay on the journey that serves our higher purpose - tapas is about not giving up when things get tough, we feel despondent or 'can't be bothered' - it is tenacity, grit and courage.

Svadyaya is studying the self. This is not about picking apart our behaviour or beating ourselves up. It is self-awareness but, importantly, self-awareness in the context of a higher wisdom. It is studying with the heart, not the mind.

Ishvara pranidhanam is, as Swami Satchidananda says, 'simple but great' - it is the act of surrender, of letting it all go.

It is really impossible to separate these three ideas, they are woven within each other. Most of the work of this course up til now has revolved around tapas (disciplined practice) and svadyaya (self-study). But these two would be pointless if we held on to every morsel that arose. For example, what is the use of training our senses and exploring our attachments and aversion if we don't let the old habits go? You would have the knowledge but no freedom.

Surrendering all that we do is not about being dispassionate - it is quite the opposite. When we surrender (Ishvara pranidhanam) all of our efforts and all of our learning with all of our heart is it is a beautiful and liberating thing that allows us to be fully & unapologetically us.

YAJNA - the Sacred Fire Ritual


Another way to surrender is to sacrifice. Yajna is ancient practice of using ritual of fire, offerings and prayer to honour the gods.

The intention of a the Yajna ritual was to bring the yogis into direct contact with the Source of All (the divine infinite). The fire acted as a bridge between the world of humans and that of the deities. They would build an altar made of earth bricks then added logs and kindling. They would have used flint to start the fire and fuelled it with ghee. They then would have chanted incantations and sacred verses from the Vedas (ancient scriptures that pre-date the Upanishads).
 
But the most important ingredient was to sacrifice something meaningful into the fire.

Remember Naciketas, the young boy who was cast to death for questioning the worthiness of his fathers wizened cow sacrifice? He couldn't abide the contempt & hubris of that offering.

Yajna was believed to bring many benefits - among them:
  • It is a tool to a happy and peaceful life.
  • It is a way to appease and thank the Deitites for all their blessings.
  • The verse and mantra chanted impact on our minds and have calming powers.
  • It wards off negativity from our mind, body, soul and atmosphere.
  • It can have a positive effect in resolving various financial, health, family and career related problems

When we think about making sacrifices in our lives we need to remind ourselves that sacrifice is not easy - we don't just get to give away the bits we don't want anymore - often sacrifice means making really, really tough life choices. Sacrifice can be a painful process of letting go of something that we might deeply love but that is no longer serving us.
JOURNAL PROMPT

Maybe (hopefully?) by this point you might have an idea of some of the things you want to let go of. If not then I offer you this one journal prompt (courtesy of Pixie Lighthorse) that I have found incredibly useful:

If you could only pack a small suitcase for the onward journey - what would you carry?
 

Sometimes letting go is a cognitive practice, other times we don't need to think about things at all in order to let them go. This is often the case in our yoga classes; we go to class feeling stressed or chewing over an event from the day but by the end of 90 minutes of moving our body and consciously breathing we are able to shift the way the experience is sitting in us or get rid of its residue completely. It's yoga magic. 

Mooji says:

"Whatever experiences may arise, allow then to be expressed.
They flow within the human expression of consciousness. Let them be.
Because when they have been given the room to express themselves, 
then the space behind, which is joyful, steady and tranquil, will come to the front.
Only don't name this name this enlightenment or feel that you've gained something.
Instead recognise and pay full attention to the unchanging silence
which is the substratum of all that is appearing in the mind."

Today's meditation is a simple practice of breath awareness with the intention to use your breath as a way to clear your mind.
 

Firstly think about your breath as a metaphor:

The inhale

What we inhale is what enters us. In yoga the inhale brings in oxygen but also Prana. Prana is lifeforce, a vital energy that goes beyond gas exchange. Inhalation is inspiration. Consider what else you ‘inhale’ into your life? Are you judicious about what you let in? Do you flood your mind with images, sounds, words that inspire or ones that exhaust? Spend time considering what you ‘inhale’? Does it uplift you or leave you drained? Reflect on what you would like to inhale.

The exhale

To let go, to exhale, to breath out. Our exhale relaxes us and gives us a chance to release. Think about sobbing, about having a good old cry. Sometimes we are in so much pain that we feel we could sob forever, then there is a break, the sobbing stops and inevitably we sigh, we exhale. Usually this exhale is ragged & laboured to begin with, but maybe it also feels like relief? Is it possible that your body is on your side? That is doesn’t actually want you to be stressed for extended periods of time? That it recognises that even during grief or pain that there is also a need to pause and relax, to let go.

The practice: 

Practice sitting and observing your breath. Just quietly.

Now add a visualisation to the breath.

First you are going to visualise inhaling up the spine and exhaling down the spine. Then switch. Visualise inhaling down the spine and exhaling up. Which do you find easier? If you concentrate can both be done equally? What do the directions represent to you?. You will find a recording of a guided version of this breath visualisation mediation here.

Affirmations for surrender

Letting go of the past breathes air into the present
When I let go I become more me
I choose freedom
I let go of regret, I am grateful for lessons my past has taught me
Surrender, trust, allow, accept
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