Are YOU the MOST DESERVING LISTENER?

Ho Ho Ho, Seven Second Delay fans! Also, Oy! Oy! Oy! Happy Merry Everything! Put some mistletoe on that dreidel and spin it in front of the kinara while chanting a Saturnalia hymn.

Yes, it's that time of year when we humans begin to soften our hearts, almost as if we cut them out and left them overnight in a vat of Jergen's lotion. But they'll be no amputations on 7SD tonight, dear friends-- at least not in real time. Tonight we are looking for you to look within yourself and decide if you could really use a little boost this holiday season. Maybe this year is just one you'd rather forget. Did you repeatedly get hit by falling by objects? Maybe your dog packed up and left you with the wife and kids? Maybe your wife and kids packed up and left you with your mother-in-law, and she has a heaving goiter? Ouch!

Anyway, tonight our show est divida in partes dues. First, we are looking for a listener who had a bad year AND merits helping. (Even if your cancer got cancer it won't matter if yr an a$$hole, dig?)

AND THEN

We will be soliciting callers to give gifts to said listener! Yes, you'll be able to send ACTUAL NICE THINGS here to WFMU and we will forward them to our now-lucky unlucky person! YOU WILL HAVE THE OPPORTUNITY TO DO A GOOD THING AND FEEL GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF.

SO IF YOU think YOUR life sucks worse than everyone else listening, call us tonight at 201.209.9368 and we'll decide if that's so! And if it DOES, as a group we will all help make it better! Aww!! Behold the public service that is radio!

Andy's Korner

You really put me below a picture of Tiny Tim? Dear God, the things I do for this show.

Hey, when you call in tonight please don't be too depressing so close to the holidays. We really don't want to hear all the details of your oozing sores and chancres. I mean, I want to get you guys to care about each other without having to care too deeply myself. Thanks so much!

Ken's Korner

Pictured above: a Seven Second Delay giveaway item that has yet to see the light of day. Not sure why the powers that be didn't want to produce this one, but it doesn't say Seven Second Delay anyway, so who cares.

Tonight is the final Seven Second Delay of the year, and what a great year it has been! Thanks for hanging in there with us. Seven Second Delay has been on the air for 87 years, so naturally there have been peaks and valleys in that time. I keep repeating to myself that most of 2019 has been a peak. Most of 2019 has been a peak. Most of 2019 has been a peak.

NEXT WEEK, on CHristmas Day, we will air a very special clip episode put together by listener John K of New York. John painstakingly listened to all the Seven Second Delay Wheel of Fate episodes from pledge drives past and has put together an hour of the best moments from all of those. Thank you John K!

I'll be back on January 1st, but not sure about Andy.

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