so i am coining a terminology for myself/us: instasocial! i prefer methods of communication that are instant and preserve the instant, and nourish my instinctive social tendencies.

– i am present in the instant. if that includes other humans i enjoy, i can spend long periods of time with almost no privacy or separation and be fine. sens8 happens with woes and teammates, and i am usually the most enthusiastic participant. but i don’t linger when it’s time to scurry back to my solitude. those instances of being alone are just as nourishing.

– i usually know in an instant if i want more or less time with people, and i trust the instinct in that knowing.

– i love texting. i love being able to respond as briefly and instantly as possible to anything quick and short.

– i get amused by people who use text to send emails. i peep you. my response will still be a text: short, sweet.

– i don’t want to be on phone calls almost ever. i will do it as a way of being with people i love...basically phone is for mom and nibblings.

– i am a writer, i want to live in the exchange of written words. i love revisiting emotional archives, excellent text exchanges, dropping into the delicate ride from stranger to intimate...like a favorite section in a book, i can remember that particular instant of connection.

– text is the only incoming that doesn’t produce a minor strife in my system.

email, strife. (usually too long with polite nothings, and often missing the messy emo errors of text)

phone call? strife. (i survive these by doing chores the entire time, so that it feels like the conversant is at my kitchen table)

surprise guest at door? strife! (naked and afraid!)

surprise video call?! striiiiife. (do i spend a higher percentage of my life in the bathroom? who enjoys this?)

– i love to be alone seeing what people i admire are up to, sharing analysis, books, movies, art, fashion, and passion. posting things that lift me up. social media is one of my love languages.

– and i respect the direct request nature of posts for help (don’t beat around the bush if you’re asking me for time...time is the most valuable thing to me. time i get to shape is a way i practice freedom.)

– this way of being feels very intimate to me. there’s almost no polite sacrificing of time in it, more authentic presence, and often connecting to others who are deeply kin even if we never meet in the flesh.

– in this moment it feels important for those of us who not only can communicate this way (text, post), but also prefer it, to be more intentional about how we do it in right relationship with the future. i long for liberated mass social virtual spaces.

– in general, how can all beings be less ashamed and more curious about the way we are?

– this way of being wasn’t even really possible before now. and there’s lots of invitation to do a low-quality version of this and feel no connection and joy. let’s be intentional, curatorial, kind, future shapers.

i don’t think i’m alone in this instasocialism. i see y’all out there, quietly nodding and not needing more than that.

*This text was originally published on adrienne maree brown's website on July 4, 2019. It has been slightly condensed here.