Notice - by coincidence - it's all happening in County Offaly, Ireland!
OK! Back to the plot...
When we wake up to what drives our behaviour, not to mention the behaviour of others, it means that we have the opportunity to make changes...
If we want to.
After all, there’s nothing wrong with any of the four personality types in this video.
Quite the contrary! You might have been surprised that everyone's deemed to be fearful of something. Here we see we need to keep the fear response in order to stay safe.
We are hardwired to be accepted and to belong. We Humans are still physiologically, pretty much the same as we were 10,000 years ago when we lived in caves. Making it a priority to get along with the others in said cave was a lifesaver. Then, as now, your unconscious mind, keeping its eye open for signs of danger, keeps us alive.
All four of these fears are still useful today.
In some situations...
The presenter in the video talks about needing to be liked. That’s such a strong driver that no doubt he has developed a robust skill set designed to ensure that he is never rejected, because for him, rejection is his worst fear.
However, there are many situations, for example, when presenting to an audience as he is doing here, that those skills he has developed to compensate, makes people like him, and maybe that means he is a very successful presenter?
Conversely, as he also tells us, there are situations where his preoccupation with being liked, is detrimental to his marriage… the most important relationship of all.
But because he understands what drove his behaviour in the example he gave us, he can catch himself next time he 'does' that behaviour and focus instead on other priorities and values… in this case, his wife.
But if he never woke up to that automatic mechanism pushing him into that particular behaviour in the first place, he would always be a victim of it.
The secret to understanding people and why they do the things they do
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We're hardwired to forget
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