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Lysette Offley's Sound Choices
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Why do they do that?

 

How to understand yourself and others better

Dear <<First Name>>, 

Thanks to Tanya Ces Maneiro and Vanessa Hunt for flagging up a very useful video about what drives our behaviour.

But first this!

Maybe we can all get along!

Notice - by coincidence - it's all happening in County Offaly, Ireland!

OK! Back to the plot...

When we wake up to what drives our behaviour, not to mention the behaviour of others, it means that we have the opportunity to make changes...

If we want to.

After all, there’s nothing wrong with any of the four personality types in this video. 

Quite the contrary! You might have been surprised that everyone's deemed to be fearful of something. Here we see we need to keep the fear response in order to stay safe. 

We are hardwired to be accepted and to belong. We Humans are still physiologically, pretty much the same as we were 10,000 years ago when we lived in caves. Making it a priority to get along with the others in said cave was a lifesaver. Then, as now, your unconscious mind, keeping its eye open for signs of danger, keeps us alive.

All four of these fears are still useful today. 

In some situations...
microphone
The presenter in the video talks about needing to be liked. That’s such a strong driver that no doubt he has developed a robust skill set designed to ensure that he is never rejected, because for him, rejection is his worst fear.

However, there are many situations, for example, when presenting to an audience as he is doing here, that those skills he has developed to compensate, makes people like him, and maybe that means he is a very successful presenter? 

Conversely, as he also tells us, there are situations where his preoccupation with being liked, is detrimental to his marriage… the most important relationship of all.

But because he understands what drove his behaviour in the example he gave us, he can catch himself next time he 'does' that behaviour and focus instead on other priorities and values… in this case, his wife.

But if he never woke up to that automatic mechanism pushing him into that particular behaviour in the first place, he would always be a victim of it.

It would have him instead of him have it

Now he has a choice.

Where do you need more choice?    You know where I am.

Claire HarperClaire Harper Sounds Positive!

"Since I came to see Lysette I have been much calmer in my approach/attitude towards my studying, even to the point that I have quite enjoyed it!

I have enjoyed learning and using my brain to make connections and understanding the material.

Colleagues at work and my husband have also commented on how positive I am towards my studies and how calm I have been!

Studying is now no longer a chore but a pleasant journey!"

Claire Harper Dip CII Dip PFS

Independent Financial Planner at ICF Financial Services Ltd

See more success stories

Here's the video I mentioned above:
 

The secret to understanding people and why they do the things they do

 

Learning is fun... isn't it?

Remember when learning was fun? What happened?

We're hardwired to forget

Here are 3 things you can do for a better memory

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What's your problem?

  • Insomnia, stress or anxiety causing difficulties?
  • Overwhelm or procrastination stopping you in your tracks?
  • Rubbish study skills strategy causing you to fail your exams?
There's a lot of it about - and is it any wonder with the manic pace of today? 

It's said that everyone needs help, but most people don't need much to set them on the right path.

Ask me how I can help you.

TALK TO ME...


You never ring, you never write...!

I love it when you get in touch and let me know how much you're enjoying these newsletters. It's great to discover that someone, somewhere is actually reading them!!! Let me know what you want more of... or indeed, less of... and you never know...
...I might just listen!   :-)
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Sometimes, I'll make recommendations for products in my newsletters, and sometimes I'll be using affiliate links which give me a small commission should you decide to buy something. Just as I would only recommend things I believed in to my friends and family, so I will only ever use affiliate links for products which I personally value. Don't worry, I won't be recommending 'any old tosh' just for the sake of making a few bob!

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