Check out our Season One podcast "On Conflict" with your favourite podcatcher or on our website www.onconflictpodcast.com.  And, guess what?  Season Two launching January 2020!  So excited! :)

 

1. HEALTH - Inventing a Heart-Centered Self

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Lately, I’ve been using guided meditations created by Dr. Joe Dispenza. He’s a chiropractor from Seattle, who in 1986 broke 6 vertebrae after a car crashed in the back of his bike at 85 km per hour. His spine was damaged enough to need surgical intervention, but he refused the surgery and used his mind and visualization to reconstruct his spine and to heal completely within 3 months.  He made a deal with himself during that time, that if he were ever to walk again, he would dedicate his life to studying and sharing the principles that helped him heal. 
 
That experience launched a lifetime of researching innovative ways to build one’s health and life, including writing several books, being featured in various documentaries and running sold-out retreats around the world.
 
His first book, Evolve Your Brain, was based on researching and interviewing those who had spontaneous remission. He was interested in the neuroscience of what people were thinking in their minds and how they perceived their reality. From the work on that book, he discovered some key principles that were common to all the healings:
 

1. Every person Dr. Joe interviewed understood that there is an intelligence, an unseen force that they interacted with, communicated with and surrendered to.
2. Each person understood it was their own mismanagement of their energy that created their disease, through chronic states of anger, fear, hostility which drove diseased thoughts. They believed they had to “break the habit of being themselves” that started with becoming conscious of their unconscious selves.
3. They understood they had to think, act and feel differently, that they had to create a new self, which is also what they saw their personal reality through, that their old self had to die for a new one to be reborn.

1. Focus your attention in the area of your heart and chest.Imagine your breath is flowing in and out of your chest area.Breathe in to the count of 5 in and then out to the count of 5. Repeat this 2 to 3 times.
2. Then attempt to recall an appreciative or caring feeling, or it could be another elevated feeling like gratitude, enthusiasm or joy.It might be for a person, a pet, a special place, or it could even be simply recalling a feeling of calm and ease. Do this for a few seconds.

That’s it.  Would love to hear what helps you recreate yourself into the more complete or whole version of you.

“Whatever techniques you practice, realize that the message of the heart becomes clearer when the mind is quiet. And in order to truly quiet the mind, we need to bring the head into alignment with the heart.” — Doc Childre, HeartMath Institute
 

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2. ENVIRONMENT - Resolving to Build Community

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Over the last few months, a dedicated group of volunteers has continued to meet and support the strengthening of my local community, centered on the topic of climate action.  As climate change continues to cause pain around the world, the act of community building continues to be one of the most important investments we can make.
 
One of our local organizers sent an article around lately by George Monbiot that talks about a successful community project in London that has built a lot of social capital.
 
In community life, according to academic researchers, there are two kinds of social networks: bonding and bridging. As the article states: “Bonding networks are those created within homogeneous groups. While they can overcome social isolation, they can also foster suspicion and prejudice, while limiting opportunities for change. Bridging networks bring people from different groups together. Research suggests that they can reduce crime and unemployment and, by enhancing community voices, improve the quality of government.”
 
Creating community, also called social capital, has a number of benefits.  Robert Putnam, who wrote Bowling Alone, has identified at least 4 benefits to social capital:

1. Information - we learn new things from each other.
2. Reciprocity – people help each other more.
3. Collective Action – as a group, you work together for greater impact.
4. Our Identity/Sense of Empowerment – feeling that we belong to a community.

Connecting with others and building community does take time, effort and thought.  In a society that is more individualistic than collectivist, building community starts with intention.  In this time of goal-setting, do you have a section or goal area for community/civic life? 

How would you rate yourself on a scale of 1 to 10 (1 being not satisfied at all, 10 being totally satisfied) if you thought about your contributions to building your community?

How do you define your community?  Do you see it in terms of your geographic boundaries?  Is it your family?  Your friend? 

And, how might you want to contribute to its health?
 
“A society that relies on generalized reciprocity is more efficient than a distrustful society, for the same reason that money is more efficient than barter. Trust lubricates social life. Networks of civic engagement also facilitate coordination and communication and amplify information about the trustworthiness of other individuals.”  … Robert Putnam

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3. NEGOTIATION - Let's Play Conflict

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It’s counterintuitive to think of conflict as play.  When we are stressed, the last thing we want to do is “lighten up.”  Yet, treading lightly is an important part of finding the resourced place inside that can let us come at a topic with grace. 
 
That’s why I love Mediator in a Box.  It’s like a board game that allows you to sit down and work your way through a conflict you are having with another person.  Originally created by two sisters, Marla Sloan and Clare Sprowell.  Marla used to own a beautiful toy store (and is married to a giant in the mediation field) and her sister Clare, a mediator. They also come from a large family and have had their fair share of working through conflicts.
 
When I first came across Mediator in a Box, I was taken by its design. It’s got the clean look of a game, yet it is a process which I also teach and lead clients through as a mediator myself.  The Box is pretty simple, and is intended for two people to sit down together and let the Box be their mediator.  A few years ago, I asked the sisters if I could create a workshop to go along with the Box and in the context of these workshops, I’ve learned from participants about many other applications.
 
Some people have used the Box to help them prepare for a difficult conversations, reminding themselves of checking in about their feelings and needs and thinking about the other person’s feelings and needs.  Others have played the mediator, using the Box to help them guide two other people through a productive conversation. Others still have used the Box as an educational tool, so that their group had the same information when it was time to engage differences constructively.
 
To give you a feel for what’s in the Box, here is a little taste of what it can do.  These are 3 simple and yet powerful questions from the Box that can be used anytime you are faced with a difficult situation to help you prepare more thoughtfully. Ask yourself, in your difficult situation:

1. What do I care about?
2. What am I hoping for?
3. What am I concerned about?

Sit with those questions.  Journal on them.  Let the inquiry reveal itself to you.  It is when we are in a quiet and relaxed state of consciousness that new information can come (you know, the "shower" phenomenon).  Make the time, even if it's for a few short minutes, to feel the impact of these questions.

Feeling and being more prepared is an important part of setting yourself up for success in any difficult situation.
 
And, if you are interested in talking more about Mediator in a Box, or bringing a short workshop to your group, simply drop me a line!
 
“Expecting results, will inspire you to prepare for the situation that you are expecting. By preparing, you have already practiced what it will feel like when the situation arrives.”… Huni Hunfjord

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