I NEVER click on clickbait. I mean, seriously. "This woman caught her boyfriend cheating ... you won't believe how she got her revenge!" Is it worse than painstakingly stitching hundreds of rotting shrimp into the hems of his curtains until he goes slowly insane wondering where the smell is coming from? Is it? If not, I'm not sure I care. NEXT!
"Ten reasons you're not losing weight (#6 will BLOW YOUR MIND!)" No, it won't. It literally won't.
"This basket of kittens was abandoned on the freeway – what happened next will melt your heart." Nope. Not interested. OK, maybe I am ... I mean, those poor kittens. Who could do such a thing? I bet a kind-hearted driver pulled over, risking life and limb to ....
But that's not the bad boy that got me this week.
"The one thing men want more than sex ..."
The ONE THING. Money? Power? Control? A cure for baldness? Emotional labor? Women to stop going on about #MeToo already? I'm intrigued, go on ...
"... but women struggle to give."
Dammit. I nibble at that little worm dangling on the virtual hook. My mouse arrow wavers over the link. Then – Click – they reel me in.
Admit it. You want to know too, don't you? I'll save you reading the whole piece by getting straight to the point. Men want a safe harbor. A place where they can be vulnerable and authentic and stop pretending. A place of nurturing – something many didn't get as little boys because they were too busy being told to stop crying and man up.
And, listen, I get it. Because, you know what? That's all any of us really want. Relief from the posturing and the pretense and the fear of judgment. And safety from reprisals (many of the most violent men are also those who feel such shame at their own weakness that they lash out in rage). And that takes work. Who among us dares to be vulnerable this week?
All of this is on my mind because I'm working on February's Sex and Relationships issue. I've got stories from a domme and a sub that will make you rethink your sex life; tips from a certified conflict coach that will transform your relationships; and a love story that will stop your heart beating, then restart it again. There will also be nipples. Click bait? I'll leave that to you to decide ...
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Friends, I have two tickets to Sotheby's annual Union Des Grands Crus De Bordeaux wine tasting, which is happening on Monday. This lush event takes place in the grand surroundings of Cipriani, and brings in the very best producers in Bordeaux to sample their offerings and ... drumroll ... unveil the 2017 vintage. There will be a champagne bar, freshly shucked oysters, and the chance to meet some of the world’s top winemakers and chateaux owners. Woo hoo! Each ticket is worth $125 (but, for you, the lucky winner, they'll be free!) Email in haste. Contact tickets@w42st.com before 6pm tonight and I'll choose the people who are not on Dry January at random. Do it now!
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TONIGHT
The Woman in Black
Back in December 1987, a little low-budget play was performed in Scarborough, England. It lasted the month, and when they had a few pennies left over in the budget they thought, what the heck, let's blow it all on a London run. The Woman in Black ended up becoming the second longest-running play on the West End (next to The Mousetrap) and was made into a film starring Daniel Radcliffe. It's now back to its roots, being performed in an intimate pub setting, and will chill you enough to never want to see another rocking chair as long as you live. The run at the McKittrick Hotel, starring actors Ben Porter and David Acton switching effortlessly from character to character, is strictly limited. Find out more.
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TOMORROW
Outsider Art Fair
Clare Danes dropped by on the opening day this week, but there’s still time to pick up a piece of “outsider art” at this event dedicated to the self-taught artist. Continues Sunday. Find out more.
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SUNDAY
Edible exhibition
Darren Bader standalone display of fresh fruits and vegetables – “nature’s impeccable sculpture” – takes pride of place on pedestals in the Whitney. But before it has time to over-ripen, it is all chopped, sliced, shaved, and diced into a salad, which is then served to visitors (*inserts gratuitous gif of Bradley Cooper eating lettuce). The display is then refreshed with a new batch of veg. The salad-making and eating happens on Mondays 3pm-6pm, Wednesdays 3pm-6pm, Fridays 7.30pm-10pm, and Sundays 3pm-6pm. Find out more.
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TUESDAY
Restaurant Week
Get a slap-up two-course lunch for $26, or a three-course dinner for $42 at some of the city’s most celebrated restaurants. Anywhere from Marseille, Esca, and Cipriani are included. Find out more.
Broadway Week
Just when you thought January was the most miserable month of the year, Broadway comes along and offers two tickets for the price of one to shows from Harry Potter to Jagged Little Pill. Find out more.
Tony Yazbeck
The song-and-dance man ties on his tap shoes for an emotional evening of classic show tunes and new standards. Find out more.
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WEDNESDAY
Boot camp
No excuses. Get out of bed early on hump day for a free Bryant Park boot camp focusing on the core. Find out more.
Throw it out
The Broadway Green Alliance is holding an e-waste drive. This is the chance to safely and mindfully dispose of your old computer keyboard, fax machine, random wires, and chargers. Find out more.
The Joy List
Aimed at fostering meaningful connection, the Joy List Social brings together established New Yorkers and newcomers for kombucha and cookies. Find out more.
Rufus Wainwright
The singer songwriter who has collaborated with the likes of Elton John, David Byrne, and Joni Mitchell plays Lincoln Center’s Alice Tully Hall, with his own take on the Great American Songbook. Find out more.
Late Show writers improv
Taking a break from The Late Show with Stephen Colbert, its writers indulge in a little crazy improv. Because they can. Find out more.
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THURSDAY
Smoke with the green fairy
Absinthe, burlesque, and Cuban cigars … what could possibly go wrong? This event is run by a good friend of mine so will be a classy kind of affair. Dress for the occasion. Find out more.
Group Therapy
Another excellent friend is behind this new, semi-immersive musical theatre piece that aims to promote awareness about mental health. It’s funny, chaotic, and honest AF. Find out more.
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