Accepting limiting beliefs had devastating consequences on my life.

I ended up releasing people and relationships to be alone. I told my then husband of almost 10 years I was sad and needed to be alone so I could be alone as I believed I desired loneliness.

Seeing myself and weak and pathetic lead to depression and suicidal thoughts

Anything of value I would get rid of so I had nothing to live for.

I was told on several occasions to stop trying to be something I am not and ‘stay in my lane’ so I created experiences to match that.

I even created circumstances to be angry about and exemplified that anger. Like at my mother’s funeral I lashed out and was extremely disruptive.

I would set unrealistic goals and prove to myself I never get what I want.

All this (and a whole lot more) accumulated to me being at one of the lowest points in my life on June 8, 2018, I wanted it all to end.

Shocking, extreme? At the time it did not seem that way to me. It was truly a viable solution to end my misery and once and for all to prove everybody and myself right, that I was all those things.

I didn’t know I had limiting beliefs so I continued to subconsciously create experiences  in my life to to match those beliefs. Despite reading books, listening to motivational speeches, I just could not understand why there was no change, yet. I didn't realize at the time that is was a process.

In the Spring of 2016 I learned what a limiting belief was and had a better understanding of what was going on and what I needed to change.

So what changed and when?  For me it wasn’t a single event, it was a series of things, a process. Even though I gained the knowledge then, it did not prevent my experience June 2018. 

I had tried to replace what has been ingrained in my subconscious mind for three decades overnight, it doesn't work that way my darling.

Little my little, day by day I started to evolve, first with the knowledge then action and repeated action. Over time I felt I was “winning” that I had change then something would happen and cause me to think no I’m still the same.

My process involved, practicing present moment awareness, mediation, writing, yoga and journaling. All these combined created a shift subconsciously. I was reframing my limiting beliefs into empowering beliefs.

First with little things, whenever something happened and my old narrative tried to tell me I was still the same, I would challenge that and reaffirm an empowering belief.  So when on June 8, 2018 I wanted it all to end despite my misery, something inside said;


You are kind, Ayana
You are strong

 You are strong

You’re a good person

You’re enough

This is your time

So many didn’t catch their break until after 40, you’ve got plenty of time

You’ve never alone

 

Then again a year and 3 days ago when I was ceremoniously let go from what many thought was a dream job, I was able to tell myself and believe; 

• You’ve got this!
• I can do this
• Everything is working out for my highest good.

I even proceeded as planned and launched my first ever group coaching program Launch and Secure - Launch your business and secure your first (or next) paying client in 6 weeks!

It wasn’t one, thing, it it’s a one and done that made the difference. Everyday sometimes several times for the day I have to reaffirm my new beliefs, like with my physical body, whatever muscles exercise consistently gets developed. So I am consistently developing my powerful beliefs so I can go through the next 3 decades and beyond creating experiences to match them.